


The Right Choice {What If}

by Obvious_Anonymous



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Banter, Canon Compliant, Character Death, Erwin Smith Lives, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Grumpy Old Men, Hange Zoë & Levi Are Best Friends, Hange Zoë Ships It, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Moblit Berner/Hange Zoë, Nonbinary Hange Zoë, Older Eren Yeager, Shingeki no Kyojin Chapter 85: The Basement, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Season/Series 04 Spoilers, Shingeki no Kyojin: Kuinaki Sentaku | Attack on Titan: No Regrets, Slow Burn, Smoking, Time Skips, Titan Erwin Smith, What-If
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:09:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 48,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28524495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obvious_Anonymous/pseuds/Obvious_Anonymous
Summary: {What would happen if Levi had decided to save Erwin's life instead?}"Did... Did you do it?" Erwin asked, all Levi could do was stare back at him wide-eyed, "did you kill the Beast Titan? Did all those lives that were lost mean something?"That question felt like it mattered more than any answer he would find in the basement in that moment. The silence alone was enough to answer his question.Erwin awakens the new host of the Colossal Titan after barely scraping by the threat of death, sacrificing the life of Armin for the greater good of Humanity. Now having changed the tide of fate, a new path is formed, and it's not any prettier than the last.[⚠WARNING: THIS WILL HAVE SPOILERS FOR SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN SEASON 3 AND 4, INCLUDING THE NO REGRETS OVA ⚠]
Relationships: Bertolt Hoover/Annie Leonhart, Hitch Dreyse/Marlo Sand | Marlowe Freudenberg, Levi/Erwin Smith, Marie/Erwin Smith, Mikasa Ackerman/Jean Kirstein, Nile Dok/Marie
Comments: 93
Kudos: 181





	1. Upon Wall Maria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin is alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader! I'm so glad that you managed to stumble upon this story! Thank you for being here, I hope you enjoy!
> 
> The OST for this chapter is T-KT, so if you want to fully emerse yourself here is the link:
> 
> **https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mpqY5n4wZhM**
> 
> Important Detail: This chapter takes place right after Midnight Sun, so if you haven't watched it yet I suggest you do!

_"I'm going to make the choice. Give up on your dream and die. Lead those new recruits straight into Hell. I will kill the Beast Titan."_

_"Thank you, Levi."_

The last thing Erwin remembers laying his eyes upon was the sight of his own blood spilling into the air, falling off the back of his faithful steed, the blow from the massive projectile piercing directly through his stomach. 

He couldn't feel a thing, his whole body numb- the adrenaline rush aiding him, but who knew how long that would last. His sight was the next thing to fail him, the world now a blur of vague shapes and colors, unable to even identify the clouds in the sky. He tumbled against the dead grass, the screams of his comrades were all that he could sense.

The echos of battle cries roared in his ears; they were louder than any roar of thunder, dedicating their bleeding hearts as they ride to their eminent deaths, making use of the of their final moments. No heavenly choir could even compare. Each one died down as the boulders kept flying, eventually it came to a point where there was nothing left. Not a single peep. Just the residuals of wind.

Everyone had to be dead.

Those poor souls... Erwin doomed them to this path, just like the Devil himself, sending sinners straight into Hell.

It was the cruelest thing anybody could have done, sending those young bright soldiers to give their lives for humanity- falling into the conman's trick. A putrid lie just for the slightest hope of victory. No titan could ever compare to the atrocities Erwin Smith has committed, even in his dying moments.

As the seconds rolled by, slowly the Commander began to feel the pain of his injuries crawl through every nerve of his body, but amounting hundred times worse as the guilt bubbled through his veins. He prayed that Levi had pulled over on his end of the bargain, killing the Beast was all that mattered, and maybe all those deaths would mean something. He trusted that Levi could. There was nobody he knew more capable of it.

It was guaranteed to be the one gamble he could win. It had to be... He just needed this one victory...

The last thing he thought before losing entire consciousness was an apology. He hoped that one day that he'd never be forgiven for the bloodshed that was caused. He knew he would never be remembered as a hero, and that he would never be painted as such even by those closest to him, because he never was a hero.

He knew he deserved it. He smiled against the grass, a gentle twitch of his lips, looking at the vague blur of his bloody hand before closing his eyes- he's finally done it. His soul will be the last piece of himself to truly repay those who died under his command. 

For a moment it was like time and space never existed at all, not even a concept as the dark abyss swallowed Erwin whole. The kiss of darkness oddly comforting, there was no panic beating in his chest. Then he opened his eyes, and witnessed his father before him, sat in a classroom, a child once more. His father stared at him expectantly, and it took Erwin a moment to realize he was raising his hand. He nearly had forgotten his question.

Well this was embarrassing.

"Excuse me?" Erwin asked, his voice injected with childlike wonder and innocent youth, the ingredients for blissful ignorance, "but how do we know that there aren't any other humans beyond the walls?"

His father continued his glare... In fact, so did the rest of the class. Everyone preyed their eyes on to him, boring into his flesh, glaring at him as if he were the one to kill their loved ones with his own bare hands.

"F-Father...? Why are you...?"

His father had disappeared with a mere blink, replaced now with a familiar looking blonde girl no older than 16. The Female Titan, Annie Leonhart...

Why was she here?

Her dead eyes watched him carefully much like everyone else in the classroom. She almost seemed judgemental, arms crossed and leaning against the chalkboard behind her. Strands of straw blonde hair covered over her face, and for once in his life, Erwin couldn't decipher what her cold expression meant.

Erwin felt physically sick seeing her there, a rush of not only disgust - but guilt as well. He nervously turned around to avoid all of those piercing eyes, but was only greeted with the familiar face of one he'd called his true enemy. The Colossal Titan, tears in his eyes, kept it's glare. The screams of his comrades returned- this time louder than before, crying out Erwin's name like a curse. Erwin wanted to scream, the attempt coiled around his throat, suffocating him. 

This was his Hell. The punishment from the ghosts who died at his own hand. He was tempted to cower, but instead he braced it, the brewing storm getting worse as images of unimaginable amounts of death flashed before him. For a moment, he felt as if half of those burdens weren't his... And yet, they were. He carried them now.

After a few rapid heartbeats, Erwin suddenly found himself enveloped in an inky black liquid, unable to breathe, the panic quickly overtaking him as he choked in the thick vastness of nothing. As he reached out into the hopeless bleak darkness, his fingers grazed over something that felt like fabric, and upon contact he yanked whatever it was towards him... 

The face before him is one of Bertholdt Hoover's, a permanent look of pain and regret frozen on his youthful face, eyes closed as if he was too terrified to face the truth before him. Erwin has grabbed hold onto the lapels of his uniform, seething with newfound rage- this wasn't the Survey Corps uniform... No, this was M-

Then he opened his eyes.

His eyelids fluttered open only slightly, the sunlight beamed through his blonde lashes, successfully blinding him with it's rays. Where was he?

He felt... Fine. Weak, but overall, fine.

He inhaled a shallow breath of air through his nose, noticing the lingering taste of iron as he unclenched his jaw, and he lazily turned his head to face the direction of... Levi? He made no comment, simply in utter disbelief.

It was far too peaceful for this to be the realm of the living- no... Erwin was never religious, but there was no doubt that this had to be the afterlife he always used to hear about. His scathed raven-haired angel has come to greet him and take him in, a heavenly glow surrounding him as he kneeled beside the Commander, highlighting his gorgeous and powerful presence. Erwin's heartbeat fluttered, because of course Levi would be the one- but what did this mean? Does that mean he was...

It didn't take long for Levi to notice he was awake. 

"Erwin?" Levi uttered.

His voice dripped heavily with exhaustion, but the hints of relief was noticeable with the simple whisper of his name, those sharp gray eyes glaring back at him with a gentleness Erwin knew was a rarity. In a blink, the idea of this being Heaven fizzled away, and he was almost disappointed.

The Commander wordlessly stared in return, trying to decipher his situation, thick brows knit with confusion. He took in Levi's appearance, scathed with scratches littering any place with exposed skin, his uniform covered in dirt and grime, hair slick with sweat as it stuck to his forehead. Judging from the lack of steaming Titan blood, it's been a while since the final charge... Within that time, what the hell happened?

Erwin just knew he must be so uncomfortable being this dirty.

He wanted to ask Levi if he was alright more than anything, other than the thousands of questions spiraling in his mind, but his throat ran dry. His attempt at a voice was simply the crackle of a breath caught in his throat.

"Levi..." It was hardly a first word, frail, Erwin himself has never heard his voice this soft before. The epitome of vulnerability, his weakness prominent for the first time, no filter to cover up. Levi watched intently, careful eyes glittering as they widened in response. That's when Erwin noticed the pressure in his right arm, a ginger touch to his wrist, Levi's two fingers placed against the vein. His heartbeat was like a tempo against his fingers.

The arm that Erwin had lost was now returned, with flesh and blood, apart of him once again. That's when it began to dawn on him, and judging by Levi's expression, Levi noticed that he realized as well.

"You're-" 

"Oh! Commander Erwin is awake?" That's when Hange spoke, and his eyes opened fully as he awoke, truly cementing that he was alive and in the real world. The Squad Leader was quick to get to the Commander's side, wobbling slightly as they tried to keep their balance, kneeling directly opposite from Levi. "Are you conscious enough to understand me?"

Erwin was quick to notice the bandage over their left eye, soaked in blood that he knew that was their own. Their face expressed just how much pain they were in, their single eye revealing something deeper than it being merely physical. It didn't stop them from showing a sheepish gentle smile, greeting Erwin with a tender touch to his cheek. The simple contact felt sensitive, much like from his wrist- now disappeared when Hange arrived. Erwin slowly nodded, enough to respond to their question.

"Good... Welcome back," they said, scanning over his bare skin for any traces of scars or wounds, the only prominent one Erwin could spot on himself was the one over his abdomen- wrapped in old bandages, drenched in blood. It was strange, but only for the fact he felt no physical discomfort.

Hange's calloused fingers then began picking at the bloody bandage wrapped over his abdomen, wanting to peek into the wrapping. The fabric was sticking to his skin, the dried blood acting as a haphazard adhesive, making a slight sucking sound as it peels off. Steam fizzes from where the wound was supposed to remain, the final moments from his charge flashing in brutal contorted images; all the horrors of death and destruction running through his mind.

Everything clicked in all at once. Erwin grimaces, and attempts to sit up, a sense of dread washing over him as his mind ran rampant, but Hange was quick to refuse it. Forcing him to lie on his back, Hange used their palm against his chest to slowly shove the commander to a safer position, Levi holding onto his shoulder to keep him stable. It surprisingly worked, Erwin too weak to bother.

It was overwhelming to admit, but it took no longer than a few seconds before he pieced everything together in his head, the only possible thing to make sense to him. Levi had to have used the titan serum on him.

"Erwin?" His name was called again, this time Hange said it, their expression held in constant mourning, their smile flickering away. They shared a quick glance with Levi, a silent conversation. Where were they going to go next from this?

"I guess you already know what's happened to you, huh," Hange eventually said, their voice lacking the usual energy Erwin would expect from them, something somber taking it's place, "you're smart enough to know what's going on... Must be a lot to take in."

Hange huffed, leaning back to sit properly, crossing their legs slowly as their hips creaked from the position change. Their gaze fixated on Levi sternly as if they were egging the Captain on, not taking any form of responsibility for the conversation that was about to take place. Levi looked back down at Erwin as he accepted it, his hands moving to rest upon his lap, and he spoke up again.

"I guess you deserve some sort of explanation," Levi inhaled sharply before continuing to drone on dryly, "After the charge, the one of the last surviving recruits had found you half dead on the battle field. He happened to reach me just in time before you bled go death. We managed to take down the Colossal Titan, and I decided to inject you with the serum and feed you Bertholdt."

It was almost as if Levi said it all in one breath, even with his pauses, a shuddering exhale escaped past once he finished, as if finally putting down a heavy weight.

That... was a lot to process, he wasn't sure how to digest it all now that his suspicions were confirmed. Erwin made no comment, and his expression fell to a neutral one despite his inner turmoil, and respected Levi's decision. Erwin trusted Levi could make one, and now that he did, there was no going back.

What sort of twisted fate was this, to now bare such a responsibility? The new inheritor of the Colossal Titan? He was so close to death... This has to be Hell. 

"There was a... Complication..." Levi continued, as if this situation could get any worse. "During the same time, Eren's friend Armin had been burned alive by the Colossal Titan's hot steam, and his sacrifice is the reason why we managed to gain Bertholdt in the first place... But Eren and I had a dispute over who should get the injection."

Levi took a moment to close his eyes, coming to terms as he tried to control his breathing. Hange kept their stare on him, urging him to continue. Levi did. "I inevitably made my decision without any further influence, but..."

"Eren Jaeger is no longer willing to work with us," Hange concluded, "not to the extent that he's become a traitor, yet, but we had to restrain and arrest him for his aggression and interference. We had no other choice."

Levi looked down at his hands, mindlessly picking at the dried blood underneath his fingernails, his raven hair covering his face. Erwin felt sick to his stomach, the urge to regurgitate was filling him up from his gut. Luckily he managed to hold it down, keeping his stone-cold glare unwavering, his skin beginning to dangerously pale.

Before Hange could address it, in the distance, the sky flashed with lighting. It cut through the tension as if it were butter, Levi and Hange now directing their attention towards the crackle of thunder following after.

Levi was already on his feet faster than Erwin could lift his torso up, his eyes concentrated as a bead of sweat rolled down his neck, already unsheathing his dual swords. The surrounding soldiers were also on edge, and Erwin quickly realized just how little of the Survey Corps there was left. Even less when it came to those being active, Erwin could only count four others standing.

Hange was then following suit in a matter of seconds, on their feet- but lacking any blades, having run out.

But it didn't even matter, because the lighting struck again, the clouds in the sky turning heavy and gray with rain, the thunder rumbling once again. A thunderstorm... Not a Titan Shifter. The realization quickly dawned on Hange, and they began to chuckle, quickly falling into laughter. Levi's head snapped to look back at the laughing maniac, begrudgingly putting away his blades before collapsing onto his exhausted knees once more, and after a few seconds Hange finished up their giggle fest.

Even though the situation was rough, it was nice to hear Hange laugh. A nice levity to cut through the dreary tension.

"You can never be too careful, huh Levi?" Hange mused, and straightened up their posture, knocking on the side of their gas canisters to check just how much they had left. Half-way through. Hange stretched their arms up towards the sky and yawned, speaking up again, "I'm gonna go ahead and pack everything up before it starts to pour. I'll go tell Floch to go scout us a place to relocate, Levi you just stay with Erwin in the meantime. I'll be right back."

Once Hange left to take charge, only Erwin and Levi remained, amongst the other unconscious and wounded soldiers with them. Erwin sat up with ease the moment he realized he was allowed to, holding up his right arm and began to softly tremble. He watched as his hand shook, feeling the lingering heat of Levi's previous touch against his wrist, sensitive to the mere whipping breeze against his bare skin.

"Erwin... You need to drink water," Levi whispered, and Erwin could hear the faint jiggling of liquid sloshing in a metal canister, the cap unscrewing and opening with a deep pop. "I brought some."

He was told to give up his dream and die, and now that he has already done that- only to remain alive... What now? He couldn't find the courage to look Levi in the eye, focused on his trembling hand- a new form of guilt and shame rising in his chest once again. He couldn't stop remembering everything, right down to his own heartbeat. The screams. The blood.

"Erwin," Levi repeated a little louder, hopeful to draw in the Commander's attention, tugged with some slight desperation. It felt as if all Levi has said has been his name this whole time. Erwin still refused to look at him. "You're dehydrated. You need to drink."

There was a silence, only the gentle breeze to pick up.

"Did... Did you do it?" Erwin asked, all Levi could do was stare back at him wide-eyed, "did you kill the Beast Titan? Did all those lives that were lost mean something?"

That question felt like it mattered more than any answer he would find in the basement in that moment. He shuddered.

His voice nearly trembled, his eyes suddenly glaring into Levi with intensity once he built up confidence, electric blue looking desperate and hopeful at the same time. A break of his usual composed character, his mind hanging on to that sliver that maybe for once something went right. Humanity's victory, for the first time, mattered more than his selfish curiosity. 

Levi never responded. That silence was enough of a response. Failure. 

"I see."

It was all Erwin could muster. He could never blame Levi for this. Now was not the time to be ridiculing anybody on what choices they've made- besides Erwin was the last person who should. It would be hypocritical. 

"I made a promise to you, Erwin," Levi urged, his brows formed into stressed arches, his grip on the canister tightening, "I said I was going to do it, and I will. I won't let you down, I refuse to."

His choice of wording made it very clear to Erwin what Levi's true intentions were. This wasn't just a case of tactical advantage, Levi's choice to allow Erwin to live was one out of selfishness. A desperate attempt, costing the life of a true hero- one with a brilliant mind at that. Erwin recognized Armin's talent, and if he would have gotten the serum there would have been a blank slate and a perfect leader. A better person to bare the Colossal Titan.

Erwin should have been the one to endure the burden of choice in the end, he should have died with it- and yet there was Levi, shouldering the pain with him. Why did he let him do that?

Erwin sighed heavily, closing his new hand into a tight fist, his trembling ceasing. In the end, Erwin understood why Levi chose him over Armin... But after everything, Erwin had a sudden realization. He was wrong to assume Levi was any angel at all. No, Levi was a demon- crawled straight out of hell, just like him.

It might have been unfair to hold the man to such a high regard after every thing they've been through, maybe such a standard of heroism as being Humanity's Strongest could be demeaning when it all came down to it. Levi had his weaknesses, and Erwin happened to be one of them. At this rate, Erwin only wished he could have died out there, so that there wouldn't be a choice to make to begin with... 

Hell, maybe if he hasn't gotten so close to Levi in the first place...

There was no point in regret now. This only made their objective much clearer- they needed to find Reiner and the Beast Titan, and they needed to end this once and for all. Then would they have time to grieve and feel vulnerable, he knew his responsibilities, and there was still an eminent threat out there. They needed to keep fighting- if not only for those who died for him, but for those who lived as well. It was the least he could do.

He grabbed the water canister Levi has handed to him, forcing the refreshing liquid down his throat, any sickness he had was drowned down into the bottom of his stomach. Once he swallowed as much as he could, he shut the now-empty canister and handed it back to Levi. It was still uncomfortable to process that his arm had returned, he had gotten so used to it not being there, it felt useless to have it back.

"How are you feeling?" Levi asked, his voice now prominently deadpanned. Erwin huffed a small laugh through his nose. What an interesting question.

"Fantastic," he lied, an obvious one, making no attempt to smile or joke but it still came off as sarcastic. "What about you?"

Levi shut his mouth, bottom lip trembling, those sharp gray eyes looking at Erwin with so much to say. Erwin has never seen Levi this emotional about anything before. The most he's ever gotten has been anger, maybe the occasional embarrassment, and tears only once. 

"I'm glad you're here," he said eventually, the edges of his eyes crinkling, the blunt honesty was too painful. Erwin stopped looking at him again. Reminded of Armin. He couldn't imagine the dispute that took place that got them to this moment. "At least now... You can fulfill your dream."

"The basement..." Erwin muttered, the croak from before remained. For whatever reason, the thought of the basement never crossed his mind up until this point. Why now? It felt so out of place... The one thing that mattered most to him, finding the truth, now felt like the least important thing to him in this moment.

'After all, I've already died for it', Erwin wanted to say.

"We can't go to the basement yet," Erwin says instead, putting on his usual commanding mask, using his facade of a strong and level-headed soldier to hide how vulnerable and miserable he felt. Levi was quick to notice, his soft expression hardening, much to his distaste.

"Huh?"

Erwin made an effort to get to his feet, removing the Survey Corp cape draped over his lap, dismissing any aid that would have been provided. That's when he felt his back ache in complaint- dull pain running down his spine as he straightened out as if he'd been hunched over for weeks, still not fully recovered even with his new healing factor, but he refused to acknowledge it. He refused to stay in place doing nothing, it made him antsy. He needed to at least walk around, take everything in, have a moment to process with some clarity.

He could already hear Hange scolding him in the distance, and they quickly rushed over to try and stop him. He refused to comply, though. He soaked in the feeling of the sun against his bare skin, embracing the heat as he felt more alive then ever. Every breath that left his body from now on was dedicated to the Scouts that have lost their lives. He'll breathe his last breath when he's run out of soldiers to breathe for, but not until then- he refuse to die.

"Hey- what the hell are you doing? You can't, we don't know if you're still injured or-" 

"I'm fine. I'm not in any pain. I just need to take a walk," Erwin cut Hange off, glaring sternly at them as he proved his point, holding out his new arm for them to see. Still didn't dismiss the fact he was still lying. Hange watched for a moment before nodding in defeat.

"Okay... But you can't leave alone," Hange ordered, and thunder crackled again, but Erwin never reacted despite just how much he wanted to. "Take Levi with you if you want to stretch your legs. Don't do anything too brash."

It's not as if Erwin wanted to go alone in the first place, even though he knew he'd probably provide the worst conversation... Levi didn't deserve that.

"Levi, would you be willing to join with me? We have much to discuss." It sounded more like a command than a suggestion, far too professional after the vulnerability. It was still purely to Levi's choice whether he'd join him or not. 

"Of course, for all I know you'll lose balance and fall off the wall in your condition," Levi retorted, his jaw clenching, his words playful but his voice strict, "just give me a moment, you need your clothes."

The sickness Erwin felt had returned, being treated this way was not what he wanted. He didn't deserve this hospitality, Levi shouldn't be so kind to such a monster. He watched as Levi limped away, trying hard to hide it. The soft wind gently blowing had become a foil to what he was feeling inside. He already felt helpless enough despite feeling alive, a dull pain throbbing in his spine. Witnessing the wounded remaining soldiers was even more painful, only seeing two bodies remaining. It took a lot to keep composure, his glare hard as steel.

Not too far from them was Eren Jaeger,   
his mouth gagged and surely tied up from what Erwin could tell- taking every precaution to avoid him from shifting. He was sleeping with his face pressed against the rough rock of Wall Maria, a Survey Corp cape draped over him, dried tear stains marking his cheeks. The Ackerman girl, Mikasa, was sat beside him; her hand placed against his back, rubbing soothing circles as she buried her face into the red muffler she always wore.

Erwin was tempted to confront them for a moment, just to apologize... But apologize for what? For being alive? Erwin didn't choose this fate, he'd much rather be dead when it all came down to it... But there was no time for regrets, and Levi made his choice... But he still felt partial to blame for it.

When Levi returned from digging through the supply chest, he handed the Commander a white dress shirt, holding onto the cape as he awaited for Erwin to slip his clothes back on. He slipped on the shirt he was provided, the sweat forming on his back slightly soaking the white fabric. He found it easier to do his buttons now, having his two hands back after all.

Erwin was unexpectedly reminded of a fond memory involving Levi; around the time he had first lost his arm. It was the second day he had stayed in the infirmary, and he had needed to change his clothes due to his previous ones being covered in blood. The nurses never bothered to dress him, so he took the initiative for himself.

He remembered was struggling with the buttons as he endured intense phantom pains- all due to lacking his dominant hand, and Levi had offered to help him. It was a tender moment, even if it was something as simple as buttoning up a shirt- meaning so much to Erwin. It truly cemented the fact that Levi cared for him, and he wished they had more moments like that together to outweigh the destruction and bloodshed they constantly endured.

The memory put an attempt of a smile on Erwin's lips, mouth twitching as he was then handed the pine green cape. He momentarily stared at the wings of freedom stitched into the back, and like an ice water bath- the momentary good feeling was gone; reality only persisted. He came to realize that all the side stuff was unimportant when it all came down to the bigger picture, that the future of humanity mattered more than the meager future he longed for. He swung the cape over his shoulders, his responsibilities returning to his mind.

They walked further till nothing but the brewing storm that could be heard, leaving the two alone with their privacy.

"You're hurt," Erwin finally said, still noting the slight limp in Levi's step. He's known the Captain long enough in his life to know his look of pain when he expressed it. He was more stoic than usual, eyes slightly squinting, movements stiff and robotic, brows knit as if he were pissed off, his lips pressed in a tight line to avoid any accidental whimpering. Erwin knew the issue would never be addressed unless he made a comment about it; the Captain can be hardheaded at times. "I can see you limping."

Levi made no attempt to answer immediately, looking off into the distance as the muscles in his neck and jaw visibly tensed, the wind swaying his hair. 

"What did you mean by we can't go to the basement yet...?" Levi said, avoiding. "That was your life long dream."

Erwin only stopped in his tracks the moment Levi spoke up. He could feel the venom in his tone piercing like a scorpion strike, the change in demeanor in Levi coming unexpectedly. He turned to face the Captain, stone-faced and indifferent, acting as if it didn't affect him, when it really did. Erwin had two choices here: he could either blow this off, or he could be honest. The honest truth was, Erwin didn't know how to handle this. After everything, he was finally here... But his own selfishness sickened him.

He shouldn't be allowed to 'want' anything, not after all the heartache he's caused. He felt partial to blame even for a death he took no part in, Armin's final moments, being burned alive... He remembered it as if he killed Armin himself.

It was all internally conflicting.

"We need to find a safe place to secure any of the soldiers we may have left," Erwin rejected any form of vulnerability, deflecting his honesty, acting as if it was just him being level-headed, "once everyone is safe, and that we can be sure Reiner and The Beast Titan are no longer an eminent threat, we can talk about the future."

"Oh, cut the bullshit," Levi nearly raised his voice, his desperation masked in frustration, Erwin never flinched, "quit it with the professional shit. You're acting like the Commander, not like Erwin Smith."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Levi glared, his frown more prominent, smokey jewel eyes flickering into Erwin's. He says nothing.

"if you think there is anything more, you're mistaken." It hurt Erwin to say, directing damage mostly to himself rather than to find a way to distance Levi. 

He then walked towards the edge of the wall towards the outside world, looking over the terrain he was last a pure-blooded human, watching the destruction left behind by the Beast... It was a sea of crimson and the remains of what used to be buildings, boulders and corpses residing beside each other. Erwin's expression faltered to a grim one.

He falls silent for a moment, and he takes it to reassess himself before becoming too emotional.

"Considering the conditions of our troop and the shortage of our supplies, it would be the smartest decision to just rest now and leave first thing in the morning tomorrow," Erwin mutters, the mask of the perfect Commander cracking, "we reclaimed the wall, we accomplished our primary mission... But was this truly a victory?"

Erwin turned back to Levi, the wind now howling as thunder crackled once again. He didn't expect a response. The clouds were beginning to form heavily overhead, covering up the beaming sun.

"I'm just worried you're already giving up on yourself," Levi uttered, hiding his hands underneath his cape. Hurt. "We can't make this all be for nothing."

He knew Levi meant something else by this. He wasn't talking about sacrifice here, he was talking about Erwin and bringing him back to life. He was trying to reconcile for the choice he made, as if it weren't a decision made entirely based on Levi's heart rather than mind.

Erwin huffs heavily, looking off into the distance once again, and his right hand begins to tremble as he relives the memory all over again in his head. The last sensations he felt before being brought to the brink of death.

"I can't leave until I make all this sacrifice matter." Erwin's voice wavered between words, he's never been this broken around another person before. Usually he's more controlled. "I'm not giving up; we need to keep moving forward... I just, need a moment to take all of this in. If I'm quite honest, I'm not even sure how to come to terms with all this. It's all happened so fast, and now that it's here... Just give me a chance, okay?" 

Levi's breath shuddered, crossing his arms over his chest as he shifted his weight between the balls of his feet, nodding in acceptance.

"Okay." He said, and repeated himself to cement it, "Okay..."

Erwin took steps forward towards the Captain, now only a few feet apart, looking down at the man. For a second there, he was nearly tempted to hug Levi, but he refused the desire- he knew Levi liked his space. Erwin placed his right hand on Levi's shoulder instead, he could feel the muscle tense at the ginger touch, but he didn't pull away. It was some form of affection, a way to apologize for everything through a simple touch, he didn't know how else to deliver it genuinely.

"Thank you, Levi," Erwin said, finding no difficulty in admitting it, "I... I know I said it before, but I wanted to say it again. Thank you." It was an attempt to be light-hearted, even if it was intentionally short lived. 

"I'm sorry," Levi said, dry and plain, it almost felt sarcastic- but Erwin knew he meant it. "I'm sorry I told you to die. I never wanted you to die."

A hefty exhale escaped past his nose, the tension in his muscles relaxed underneath his hand- Levi letting go of his hostility as he leaned into the touch.

"You had to."

"I know..."

"So don't regret it," Erwin mumbled, and he pulled back to look at the small base they left the Scouts behind- pretending he wasn't as emotional as he appeared just to spare Levi, it was already becoming too difficult to see nothing but pain in his eyes. Levi doesn't cry, but whatever he was going through internally definitely warranted it, and Erwin wondered just how hard it must be to keep it all in for him of all people. "There's no point."

The wind began to pick up speeds, the wings of freedom flapping on flag poles and capes, the clouds in the sky growing heavier as the rays of the sun disappeared behind them. The atmosphere grew darker, and a gentle rumble was heard in the far distance. It tasted of humidity, it was bound to rain eventually, Erwin noted.

"We need to get back," Levi said, taking Erwin's hand into his own for a second, holding it and squeezing before inevitably letting go. Erwin missed their contact already. "We left Hange all alone back there..."

"You think they'd let me put on Maneuver Gear like this?" Erwin cheekily asked, and Levi made an noise of amusement, shifting his leg position again.

"I seriously doubt it," Levi says, "though I suppose nobody is your boss, so do whatever the hell you want. I can't stop you."

"You underestimate the power you have over me," Erwin's voice gets softer, and Levi catches it, breathing hitched in the back of his throat. It wasn't a lie, he thought he'd already made that obvious when he was willing to die for him. Together they walk back to their temporary base in gentle silence, the first droplets of rain beginning to fall, the storm blooming awake in the sky. 

**To Be Continued...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Reader! You made it past chapter one, that's fucking great bro. I'll try to update as consistently as I can. Currently at the time of this first chapter being published, Season 4 Episode 5 hasn't been released yet.
> 
> I promise I won't post any Marley-Arc related chapters until after the episode is released, for now we can chill in Season 3.
> 
> Thank you for reading, see you next chapter!


	2. The Wine Cellar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Scouts are seeking refuge from the rain after a long battle in reclaiming Wall Maria. Erwin and Levi have a much needed conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey fellow readers, welcome to Chapter 2!
> 
> There are a few trigger warnings! Please be aware of: Suicidal thoughts, as well as descriptions of injuries.
> 
> The OST for this chapter are two songs, so if you want to fully emerse yourself, here are the links!
> 
> The Price of Freedom: https://youtu.be/7c8pM4r9L-s
> 
> Titan Advance:  
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=K2-RP0_EYik
> 
> Again, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy!

Erwin slipped on the harness over his shoulders, finding it easier now being double-handed, connecting the two last straps across his broad chest and locking them together with a buckle. He then grabbed the leather protective wrap and placed it around his hips; now all he needed to do was put on the ODM gear itself.

He felt better while he kept his hands busy, distracting himself just to keep the constant urge to fall apart at bay. Level-headed once more, expression stiff and indifferent as ever; the Commander persona shrouding over him like a worn mask. He doesn't know how much longer he could keep it up for today, just nearly cracking when he spoke to Levi earlier, but he forced himself to trudge on.

While he busied himself with the mechanisms and countless amounts of other straps, he faintly overheard Levi infront of him as he interrogated one of the remaining Recruits- Floch- for a basic report on their new location. Floch only responded by pointing vaguely in the distance towards Shiganshina, explaining himself sternly.

Erwin's focus was more interested in watching Levi's back, enamoured by the way his hair swayed and the mannerisms he made with his hands. He couldn't help but be reminded of how things used to be, he wondered if they'll ever be like that again. He didn't even notice he was gawking until he realized he learned nothing from the conversation he was overhearing.

Erwin scolded himself.

His relationship with Levi has always been... Complicated, to put it simply. A bumpy carriage ride for sure, but it evolved somehow. Something deeper than any friendship or comradery, reigned back just enough before it got too far. Neither of them were blind to it, of course, they both could read off each other like a scripture. As selfish as Erwin was, he's never been able to admit it out loud, for once discarding his desires.

Erwin has always known he was bad for Levi. Not only as a weakness, but a crutch, and the beholder of their death dates. It's always been like this, putting one dream on top of another, Humanity over Levi... This was never a fair game, and Levi knew that, and yet he still chose to soil his own soul to save his life. One who could have been replaced.

Erwin made him into another creature built from hell, shackling them both to a horrid fate. If Erwin had died instead, Levi would have been free, maybe he's even find happiness for once. Still despite all this, Erwin continued to dance with his fantasy, and he sure as hell felt shameful about it too.

He tugged at the last strap with force, the sound of leather stretching and belt clasps clinking following suit as he attached the blade containers to his hips, the fresh blades it held inside rattled. These were the ones left behind by those who participated in the final charge, having been collected while Erwin was still asleep... It felt wrong to be using them now.

Before Erwin could continue on internally arguing with himself on all the myriad of reasons why he should be disgusted with himself, Hange crashed his train-of-thought, speaking up while carrying two large bags of supplies. It was attached to their back with straps, so that they could move freely with ODM gear.

"Erwin, we finished up packing," they said, shaking slightly as the thunder got worse, no traces of a smile left in them, "but we don't have amy lifts, they were all destroyed... But luckily we don't have a lot of equipment either, so we have just enough gas to run back for one or two more loads."

"Do we have enough horses to carry everything that we have?" Erwin asked. Hange nodded.

"Yes sir," they said, and they looked towards the small group of remaining Scouts to their right, already prepared, "I counted twelve, and there are seven of us who can ride."

Hange, Levi, Floch, Mikasa, Eren, Connie, Marlowe, Jean, Sasha, and Erwin. That was what was left of the Survey Corps- and there was no guarantee that Sasha and Marlowe would survive, their injuries from the battle were near-detrimental. Erwin only sighed.

"Transport the injured first, maybe we can find a wagon of some sort when we get down there." Erwin said, and Hange nodded- that was already their plan. They turned to begin their orders towards the others, but before they could say anything, Erwin spoke up again.

"Hange," Erwin uttered, emotionless. Hange quickly stood at attention, "make use of our prisoner. We need all hands on deck if we all want to survive tonight. Have him help take our remaining horses to the refuge."

Hanged stared for a moment, raising their brow in confusion. "Why would you want to do that? We don't know what kind of headspace Eren is in right now, we can't risk him going titan and turning on us all."

"Same reason why we let him join the Survey Corps," Erwin said simply, cold in his tone, restating his moral code, "he's not any better if we keep him tied and gagged like a pig. We need to move forward."

Hange made a defeated sound, smiling anxiously, "I guess it's better than carrying more dead weight. Hope this isn't another gamble on your part, Commander." And with that, they went back to what they were doing before: bossing around some kids.

The two soldiers Jean and Connie rushed to aid, following Hange's command, taking the resting Marlowe and Sasha into their arms. Mikasa cradled the sleeping Eren in her lap, cooing something unintelligible causing the boy to wake up groggily. She then took the chance to untie his arm restraints from behind his back, leaving the gag on just to make Hange feel a little better about whatever Erwin's apparent insanity had planned.

Once finished, she stood, leaving him behind to help the others. Eren made an incomprehensible noise of complaint as he began to rise from slumber, his eyes screwed tightly shut as he tried to gather himself, palms pressed against the wall below him.

Erwin noticed the side-eyed glances he received from the other soldiers, those of fear and intimidation- but was a stark contrast from Mikasa; gray eyes colder than a blizzard, cutting like daggers. He glared right back at her, fixing the cuffs of his shirt, still getting used to having his right arm back. He learned to never buckle under hostility a long time ago, but this was depressing. He never wanted his own soldiers to dislike him.

Not long after came the sound of grappling hooks being launched and gas being released, anxious horses faintly keening from below the wall. Levi returned to him right after, standing before the Commander to relay information. "Floch found an old Church in the center of Shiganshina's Town Square, remarkably. All the windows are shattered though, but we have to work with what we got, it's the only building still standing." 

Thunder and lightning struck again, right between the short pause. Levi's eyes were now trained on Eren, watching the boy as he slowly rolled onto his back, now visibly trembling. 

"We'll use the tarps from our tents to cover up any broken windows, it's no big deal," Erwin said, his gaze following Levi's, knowing full well what their next obstacle was. This chat was nothing more than small talk compared to what awaited them. "It's not like we'll have any use for them after tonight anyways, I don't plan on staying here any longer."

Erwin readjusted his gear one final time, and took the dual sword holsters from their sockets beneath his cape. He reached for the blade handles at his side, attaching each to a new blade before pulling them both out to test himself, index and middle fingers gently fumbling with the triggers.

It was a refreshing feeling being able to do this again, reminded of a time before his injury. When he was still a springy young teen, first joining the Survey Corps. It nearly made him cringe when he realizes how far he's come. How did Erwin manage to survive til 35?

He took a moment to soak it in, taking a deep breath before putting the blades back into the container and unclipping them from their holster. He then pulled the hood of his cape over his head, already feeling the first few droplets of rain hit the tip of his nose. They were running out of time.

"If we do manage to find another safe building near by, we could use it as a temporary stable, to keep the horses from getting ill," Erwin continued, but Levi nodded absentmindedly as if to wave Erwin off, crossing his arms before fully turning his body towards Eren.

"Eren, you're awake," Levi spoke, rough and demanding. Eren was now sat up right, picking at the belt that bound his legs together, and he nearly flinched at the Captain's voice. The surprise was quickly replaced with anger, Eren's expression contorting into unbridled rage, even with the metal gag in his mouth.

Why did Hange keep the gag after all this time? Who knows, they were weird.

Eren held eye contact with Levi, and Erwin silently questioned his motives as he witnessed their unspoken tension. Emerald green eyes glaring back into sharp gray, every heartbeat could be heard.

"You're going to nod every time I ask you a question, do you understand?" Levi took a step forward, and Eren nodded slowly- begrudgingly compliant. "Good. I'm going to undo your gag, but I need to make something extremely clear: if you do something rash, or anything remotely suspicious, I will hunt you down and kill you. I won't ask questions. I won't hear your excuses. Understood?"

Eren froze, betrayed. Erwin felt a pang of pity; this wasn't Eren's fault.

Levi walked over and squat before the teen, Eren shuddering away, his eyes now telling of terror to replace the anger, almost embarrassed he was intimidated this easily. "But if you're willing to take the chance, and you think you can out-run me, be my guest. I hope you make the right choice, Eren, I've already made mine. Now fucking answer me, do you understand?"

Eren nodded. Levi sighed, putting away his devilish glare and grunted as he stood. He pulled out a small key from his breast pocket and undid the lock behind Eren's head, the boy hugging at his own arms as he spat out the metal piece. That better be left behind...

"Now go put on some ODM gear and help, don't make me have to babysit you." Levi said in a gentler voice, a complete 180 turn from seconds before.

Erwin felt his own breath hitch in the moment, remembering a certain courtroom beating, Eren's expression the same. Levi was always like this, handling situations with aggression, even when they first met. He kicked more than he talked, and he showed respect to no one... Erwin and possibly Hange were probably the only living people who he'd teeter the edge for.

Still, it felt unfair to treat Eren this way. Erwin knew Levi only spoke through cruelty, it was up to Erwin to rekindle what was broken. 

"It was never supposed to be him..." It was clear that Erwin wasn't supposed to hear that, judging by the slight curses to follow after, but Erwin had a keen ear. This was all too strange for him to handle; the only way Erwin has dealt with hatred and misery was by ignoring it... But how much longer can he pull this off?

The thunder boomed once again, nearly above their heads, the rain now gently pattering against the surface of Wall Maria, making dark dotted shapes into the rock. As Levi returned to grab supplies, running with a limping start as he leapt off the wall with grace- and Erwin had to cruelly remind himself not to call Levi his angel again.

Erwin turned his back and continued trudging forward, walking off in the direction of where the pile of packed duffle bags remained- only pausing in his tracks once again when Eren grumbled something behind his back. He waited for another person to return, Jean the first to land back on the wall to monitor Eren, giving The Commander the chance to leap off the second he could. He free-fell legs first, and he allowed himself to turn on his back, bladeless-holsters in his hands ready to pull the trigger.

As he fell, he was tempted to just... Never pull the trigger. The idea of death right now felt ever more pleasant. Erwin pulled the trigger and the ODM cables launched, latching into the wall, a few meters before it was too late to catch himself. He couldn't do that. Not to them... To him...

He maneuvered his legs to allow him to swing, narrowly scraping past the wall before launching himself downwards towards the remainder of horses below. He managed to stick the landing, much to his own surprise. The grass was wet under his boots, several shades of red coloring over the green, dust and ash clinging to the air making it hard to breathe.

He looked to see if maybe he could find his own white steed, his mare of death. He'd named her Lilith. She had served him well as his noble companion, always willing to ride straight into hell with him. Erwin hoped that where ever she was, she was okay.

The Commander made way to the closest horse he could find. Moments then passed, the last bags of equipment and supplies were loaded, and the Survey Corps was off- Floch leading the group to their new destination as light rain began to fall over the tracks. The clop of hooves against the dirt and stone terrain flooded over Erwin's personal thoughts, the constant reminder of his duty with each step his horse took.

Hange trotted close beside him on their own stallion, their horse dragging along an old food wagon on the verge of breaking, the two wounded soldiers resting inside with a cape over their bodies. It was broken from the end, and it only had two wheels, but it managed to work for now.

Erwin wondered how Hange even got their grimy hands on a functional wagon in this desolate wasteland that was Shinganshina, but thank whatever higher power out there that they did. They were both shallowly breathing (Sasha specifically mumbling something about Boar meat), but alive nonetheless.

Erwin has known Sasha Braus since the first mission to rescue Eren, as for Marlowe Freudenburg- He vaguely remembers Levi mentioning him, some time after the Coup D'état when they were discussing the new Scout recruits.

He was a formerly from the Military Police Regimen, the one who'd helped Levi and his Squadron invade an MP base. Hitch Dreyse was also one of those who had helped Levi, and according to small gossip amongst the veterans- they were dating? Erwin was never particularly interested in gossip, that stuff wasn't any of his business as much as it was any of theirs, but Hange and their never-ending obsession with love pairings forced him to listen to every little morsel. Lunch at the Scout Headquarters was never a dull moment.

The sight of the wounded made his eyes squint, a frown prominent in his eyes. He was glad they had someone to get home to, but that was all dependant on whether he survived this final night. If they didn't, that just meant more blood on his hands. That meant one more person would cry over his decision.

He then looked back at the two cadets behind them, Eren on horseback with the battle worn Mikasa resting against him from behind, Levi on his own black mare to monitor them. They were transporting supplies rather than bodies, Eren seemed to lack the interest in being anything but haphazard; still mourning. The green glint in his eyes told all.

It's been solemnly quiet amongst all of the Scouts, not even a peep of military conversation amongst them can be heard. It was ghastly. Everyone was tired, at their limit. Erwin knew himself that the moment he got the chance to he'd find the nearest corner and pass out. Living was extremely tiring.

That's when Erwin noticed hesitance, an abrupt difference in hooves' constant speed, Eren's horse keening as it was forced to slow down. Erwin kept his eyes peered in their direction, continuing forward but careful to watch Eren and Mikasa, reading off their paling faces. A different expression- Eren's visage went from mourning to haunted in a matter of seconds.

"Mikasa..." Eren whispered, and the girl nodded against his back, her grip around his abdomen tightening.

Reliving past traumas, both the cadets once lived in Shiganshina in their childhood before the first Colossal Titan attack, looking at a specific decimated building as they continued their journey. There was still rusty dried blood splattered amongst the wreckage, the debris of something personal for the both of them. Their Childhood home, maybe?

That meant the... No. He quickly collected his composure, and he reminded himself of his responsibilities. He couldn't believe after everything, he was still so attached to finding the truth. It was so selfish of him to be making such a conclusion when clearly Eren and Mikasa were in so much pain. He was still the monster he always was, even after death.

"Oye, Eren, catch up," Levi then cut off, his voice edging on threatening. Eren quickly snapped out of his trance, and his expression went back to anger- maybe even annoyance now, maintaining speed with the Scouts once again. Few minutes went by, the thunderstorm was already staring to get to it's worst, with every second gone by, the rain pounded. Luckily, they'd all had made it to the church just in time. Immediately the able soldiers did their duties- rushing in as much supplies and injured as they could. 

Erwin hopped off his stallion, weaving his fingers through his horse's hair for a moment in gratitude before grabbing the supplies he'd collected and rushing inside past the massive and heavy wooden doors, the hinges creaking as they lumbered open with forceful pushes.

Inside- the church was massive. Huffing as he tracked in mud and rain water, he didn't expect to find himself inside a cathedral after so many years of avoidance, being back here after his childhood was anything but a happy experience. The remaining mosaic windows of the Walls made the church glow a variety of colors- blues, reds, and greens shining into the dark atmosphere.

The place was huge in the main room alone, plenty of other doors and side rooms to explore through. Erwin pondered if there were any church rations they could ransack through. Maybe even some dry blankets and matches. The stone floors were getting wet with new rain as it dripped in from broken windows, which was a problem. The pews were shoved back, though, giving them loads of space to work with.

With that, Erwin gave the orders.

"Make sure to use the tarps to cover up the broken windows!" Erwin shouted, his voice echoing through the large cathedral, bouncing off the walls along with the sound of shuffling boots against stone. Immediately two soldiers followed, Floch and Jean, taking the tent tarps and running outside to use their ODM gear. Erwin then directed Mikasa and Connie to set up a makeshift stable, telling them to use the nearest building to keep all the horses safe.

Eren was left to help Levi and Hange pull in the wagon, the rotting wood beginning to fall apart with the new rain, one of the wheels unhinging and rolling off- but luckily Levi was fast enough to catch the end before the wagon (now becoming a bundle of wooden planks) would lose balance.

Before the piece of shit could break any further, Hange grabbed at one of the injured soldiers once after putting the wagon down safely, instructing Eren to do the same for Sasha. They were dragged towards one of the pews, laying both of them down against the old dusty cushions of the seats that were crawling with tiny insects and cobwebs. Erwin narrowly caught Levi's look of disgust.

The Commander walked deeper into the church, slinging the supply bags from over his arms and placed them in a corner nearest to the pews with the rest. He repeated this to bring all of their luggage inside, absolutely drenched by the time he dropped off the last two bags. He discarded of his soaked cape, dropping it right into a corner on the floor; the begining of where the rest of the wet laundry would pile up.

Someone had also lit up some of the left behind candles- the orange glow cascading through the church like every resonating echo- melting into the mosaic window's own colored light. In any other circumstance it'd nearly be pleasant, injecting a surge of nostalgia for Erwin's own childhood as he gazed upon the dusty bronze plaques of Sheena, Rose, and Maria. All three lined up upon the wall, an alter just below them.

Right after his father died, he was put into a religious orphanage since he had no other family, his mother having died when he was born. Every weekend he was forced to go to church and endure several-hour long lectures praising the Walls for their mercy, and his childhood had never been more pretentiously boring. Erwin found himself grateful for being here though, even if most of his experiences at Church were horrible.

By the time everyone was done, the church's heavy doors were shut, the rain heavily pelting as the thunder rattled the building. It seemed like the tarps were working like a charm, the rain ceasing from the inside. Erwin found himself sitting on the marble floor, back leaning against the edge of a pew- the wood digging into his skin uncomfortably but he made no attempt to move away. Far too lost in thought.

Before him was a small contained campfire, started from the candles Mikasa had lit earlier. She said she managed to find the matches from the other building they were using as a stable, since it happened to be an old cigar shop. The remaining wood of the shitty wagon was used to feed the flame.

Nearly everyone was sitting in a circle around the blooming flame, collecting its warmth and drying off their clothes, their only source of heat.

Mikasa was asleep, her head in Eren's lap. The boy's hand placed on top her head absentmindedly, more interested in looking at the golden key tied around his neck. It only reminded Erwin of their final objective. Eren never dared to look Erwin in the eye since the moment he woke up, his hatred needing no words to be obvious.

Jean has his knees drawn up to his chest as he sat, right beside Mikasa as he watched her with heavy eyelids, his hand just inches away from reaching her. Floch was sat directly across from Eren, one of his legs stretched out towards the middle, the other he used to lean his head against- watching the fire wordlessly. Nobody in the circle exchanged a word, not even Erwin attempted to start a conversation.

Hange and Connie on the other hand were still tending to the injured. Levi had the courtesy to find them a rickety wooden bucket and filled it up with rain water earlier, and it turned out to be useful.

Connie was now using it to clean up the deep gash inside Sasha's side- a whole chunk of flesh torn off and still bleeding out no matter how persistent Connie was in ministering to it. Either way, the young cadet continued to coo words of comfort towards the girl, making small jokes- laughing to himself to make up for the silence he received on the other end, still hopeful.

Erwin found difficulty envisioning a future where Sasha would survive her injuries, and his heart only clenched for Connie and her family. On the other hand, Marlowe appeared to be in better shape, his breathing seemed to be a little less shallow- and conscious enough to be able to drink the water Hange was slowly feeding to him one sip at a time.

That's when it dawned on Erwin that something was missing, someone who was always by Hange's side even when it got rough or unbearable... Moblit wasn't here.

Unable to stand being inactive for so long, Erwin decided to make himself useful as well even though he originally planned on resting, unable to endure seeing Eren in front of him any longer. It was strange to say, but for some reason... Erwin could remember Armin's death. It's all he's been able to think about since, watching the boy burn into a crisp, he felt as if he committed this murder himself.

Standing up abruptly, Erwin took the wet pile of clothes one by one, putting them up and spread out amongst the backside of the pews to help them dry. It was dirty work and they smelled awful, but he knew they'd be helpful dry as things got colder as the thunderstorm progressed. He didn't think he'd be doing such a domesticated task in such a dreary setting; it strangely felt humanizing.

As he worked, his hands inevitably landed on Levi's Survey Corps jacket, his name embroidered into the inside of his jacket just below the collar. Erwin's thumb grazed over the stitching, sentimental. It's been a while since he last saw him... The last he saw the Captain, he said he was going to see if he could 'find anything useful', and disappeared behind the curtains of the alter.

He only began to worry the more he began to think, his own cursed damned mind leading him to intrusive thoughts. He couldn't help but feel worry now, his face hardening as imaginary situations roamed rent-free in his mind. Erwin only snapped out of it when Levi had appeared again, like a ghost he practically came out of no where, so lost in detrimental thought he forgot the world around him still existed.

Erwin could physically feel the relief wash over him when the Captain's voice rang from behind, and he turned around to see right on cue.

Levi had two folded blanked held under each of his arms, all the same shade of unpleasant gray. He was stripped of his ODM gear and uniform, only the straps to remain attached. His white shirt and pants were covered in grime and blood, permanently staining the cloth- telling just as much of a story as the scars that littered his body, the old bandages around his hands beginning to bleed through. 

"Jean, pass these around," Levi said, handing the blankets to the cadet, and Jean took them each gratefully. "Don't be greedy with them."

"Thank you, Captain Levi," Jean mumbled, and automatically passed one to Eren and Mikasa, the other two given to Marlowe and Sasha. The last one was attempted to be given to Floch but was only distastefully rejected instead- and without further argument Jean decided to keep it for himself. 

Erwin's eyes followed Levi's direction and soon after he himself was following him, the two walking together towards the cluster of duffle bags they left, Erwin fully intending to ask him what took him so long. Not to complain, but out of curiosity. 

He waited for Levi in hopes to speak to him, his blue sapphires sparkling the moment they linked eyes...

His raven-haired angel, Erwin reminded himself without even realizing, only scolding himself once after the thought happened. When he caught himself, his heart lurched in his chest, and he already forgot what he was going to say. Good enough for him, Levi was already speaking, filling in the silence.

"This place is massive," the man whispered, almost awed, now kneeling over the duffle and rummaging his hands through the medical supplies.

"Yeah... It is..." Erwin replied, sighing right after to punctuate. Levi never bothered to continue their conversation, pulling out a new wrap of bandages, gauze, and some medical tape before standing to his feet. Erwin then remembered what he wanted to say.

"I was planning on investigating this place on my own, until you showed up. Too that bad you did, you're gonna ruin the fun." A gentle jab, knowing damn well nothing about this was fun, attempting to make his sarcasm obvious with the slight raise of the corner of his lips- not exactly a smirk but it's not like he was in the mood to smile anyways. Levi huffed, amused.

"Sometimes you need a responsible adult to look after you," Levi said, almost grumbling, but there was no malice. Erwin took note of Levi's injuries once again, only breaking eye contact to look down at his battle scathed hands. The noticed how useless the old bandaging had become now that he was up close, soaked in rain water and splotches of blood.

"Let me take care of that for you."  
He didn't give Levi much of a choice in it. Without really thinking about it, he takes Levi's hands into his own. Damn his gentleman's instinct, what the hell was he doing? He didn't backtrack on it though, ginger in his touch, taking the bandages from Levi to further punctuating he wasn't backing out.

He was careful about unwrapping them, delicate with the old bandages as if afraid of accidentally hurting him. Of course, he knew Levi could take it, but there's nothing wrong with being too careful. Once finished with one hand, he noticed the red irritation around every cut and scrape, torn up and bloodied by the battle from his knuckles to his elbow.

He needed to disinfect them, but he couldn't take the supplies Hange already had- that was for Sasha and Marlowe.

"Do you think they have any alcohol here?" He pondered out loud, clearly already know that all Churches did, and Levi made a face of disgust.

"You old crazy bastard, you want to get drunk now?" Levi growled, but he never pulled away from Erwin's tender hold on his hand, looking up at the Commander suspiciously. Erwin felt a warmth in his chest, the want to laugh but it never came out, quickly dying down just as fast as it rose.

"No," Erwin said, his eyes crinkling. He was fully intending on patching up Levi himself. Sure, Erwin was no nurse, but Hange did teach him a few medical tricks. "Your wounds are infected, we have to clean them up. I guess you and I are going to have to investigate after all." 

As it once was just as he hoped, just talking without the pressures of dying. At least Levi didn't treat him any differently. It was his own lit candle stick in the muggy church; Erwin nearly felt like a criminal for being so contradictory. Other than uncovering the brutal truth of their universe- Erwin dreamed of a world where there were no titans.

The threat to humanity no longer existing. He could just sit and talk to Levi all day, and for once it could be about something that meant nothing at all. He longed for insignificance, the simple pleasures of life, something domestic.

All his life he's wondered, he's had a duty to fulfill, a goal to chase. One day, he want to settle. Sit down and own a farm somewhere beyond the walls. Love someone and share the peace. Have kids and spread the legacy. Experience something more than mere pain or sacrifice. But Erwin was never allowed to have such peace, no matter how hard he believed or dreamed. He was a monster, there was no kinder way to express it. He deserved hellfire, more misery than any person can endure and then more. He wasn't allowed to settle. He wasn't allowed to love. He wasn't allowed to have a legacy.

He had a huge responsibility now. To think of anything more was blind and foolish... But there a moments, moments like these, where Erwin is reminded of the world that it could be. A taste of the ambrosia he was forbidden to touch. Just a reason to keep persisting, giving him a moment of humanity.

When Levi released from his hold, Erwin was nearly desperate to have it back. It's been so long since he's felt someone else's warmth, something so human. He was starved and deprived in every sense.

"Okay, I'll follow you," Levi whispered, "we need to be fast."

Erwin's heart lurched in his chest. It was excitement, nearly adolescent-like. He's only felt like this towards other things- far more important to their goal than just investigating a simple desolate church. Luckily, with his mask, he was capable of pushing it all the way down. Again: repressing. He shouldn't be so hyper, he already expected this outcome. Just the look in those gray eyes, and one glance is all Erwin needs to decipher the man. Erwin liked to believe he was the only man who could. 

"Perfect," He said, his small smirk never fading, "come, there might be a wine cellar in here. Hopefully those drunken priests will be good for something in their lives."

He curiously guided the pair to the the first door he had intended to investigate, careful not to disturb the remainder of the 104th training squadron- faces frozen in permanent mourning. Erwin watches for a moment before he opens the squeaky door in front of him, his eyes now drained of wonder. He needed to talk about the casualties with Levi soon, of course the usual professional conversations of military talk. He dreaded the talk, he knew how horrible they'd both feel afterwards.

Erwin walked into the room, a small compartment full of religious paraphernalia in a broom closet, a basement latch in the middle of the small room. Levi remained silent, but it was clear he seemed a bit put off.

Erwin excused himself to pry open the rotten trapdoor, the entrance looking like an abyss before he shined his candle. It was a ladder entrance, and without further discussion, Erwin placed the candle down on the wooden floorboards and clambered the ladder first, pulling himself inside without really thinking about how dangerous this was.

The moment he was securely in, he reached for the candle, placing at the side of the entrance before pulling up to aid Levi down, hyper-consciously aware of his leg injury. They nearly collapsed on top of each other back as he successfully caught the Captain, shoving him off the moment Levi's elbow sharply jabbed at his abdomen with their unintentional collision. The smaller man yelped, quickly cut off in the back of his throat.

"Are you okay?"

"Mmf... I'm fine."

Once the both were settled inside, Erwin took the mantle for the candle in hand, and examined his surroundings.

There was a pungent stench of humidity and vaguely the sweet smell of grapes. Lifting the candle light further revealed the church's infamous wine cellar, barrels upon barrels of wine spouts stacked on top themselves lined up along the side walls. A circular wooden table directly centered in the room, an unfinished card game and glasses of wine rested hauntingly untouched for the five years it's been abandoned. There was a large chest at the end of the room not too far from the table, left wide open and abandoned- cobwebs finding refuge on the edges.

The Wine Cellar told a story, a ghost of what it once was still lurked, a perpetual funeral of the memories once had here. It was nearly hard to believe that this place once held life. Whether it be gambling priest pricks or not, it still made Erwin nostalgic for simplicity all over again.

Erwin can't remember the last time he had simply taken a moment to appreciate his comrade's or fellow veteran's company without it involving death. He recalls a time when he, Miche, Moblit, Hange, and Levi would play card games in the mess hall, the nights just before a mission outside the walls, when all the others were left asleep except for them.

Hange and Miche used to team up against him all the time, Moblit accusing them of cheating every five seconds- and in the end, Levi usually was the one who won a majority of their games. Erwin missed seeing their smug mugs as they all conspired against him.

Erwin placed the candle on the table, using the flame to light another abandoned candle. Levi limped over, the tips of his fingers smoothing over the table, the later of dust clinging to his skin making him scoff in disgust.

"At least this place isn't any more filthy than what's behind the alter..." Levi grumbled, flicking off the dust by patting against his thigh.

"Oh yeah?" Erwin asked as he took the extra candle with him as he went to go scour the open chest. He placed his light source by his side as he cleared of the spiderwebs and collecting dust. "What's behind the alter?"

"Corsets, lingerie, and condoms," Levi said all too casually, taking a seat in the wooden chair, "but uh, very clearly used items of the sort. Not the something you'd expect to find at a place like this. It was a nightmare to find anything useful in there... And anything clean at that."

Erwin coughed as he accidentally inhaled some of the dust, caught off guard he nearly began to laugh, waving his right hand around and forcing a "that's unfortunate". Levi didn't respond. 

Peeking inside the chest, Erwin found that inside contained plenty of miscellaneous items: shot glasses, broken ceramic, prayer pamphlets, card games, and store-bought booze. Erwin's eyes were first immediately drawn to the bottle of gin- half way full- and he grabbed it. He could use this, the alcohol contents were at least 40%, just as Hange had taught him. 

"Hey, Levi," he called out to finally change the subject, his voice gentle and hardly audible past the rain storm outside, and he stood up to face Levi directly, "I found something that could help disinfect your wounds. What a damn waste, though. Pixis wouldn't be proud." 

"Pixis would die of a heart attack just by the mere idea," Levi murmured dryly, "I won't tell if you won't."

Erwin carefully unscrewed the cap on the bottle, and he looked into Levi's eyes one last time for reassurance. Once again, without asking, he tenderly grabbed at Levi's hands and held them in front of him, both bandages undone and sleeves rolled up to expose the plenty more scrapes that littered his skin.

"This may sting."

"Spare me. Just do it."

Erwin knew Levi could handle it of course... He always could, Levi was no damsel, so why was Erwin acting like this? Dammit.... He started pouring the alcohol over each wound on his hand without another warning, careful not to spill so much against the wooden floor boards, the stench was still strong.

Levi never winced, his breathing steady as the liquid runs over to wash away the blood, but his jaw was clenched. Once the deed was done, Erwin capped the bottle and put it on the table, quickly reaching for the bandages and making use of them on Levi. He was careful to not make the wrappings so tight, even letting the open wounds air out before applying them on.

The process was slow, and oddly quiet, leaving Erwin entirely focused on tending to Levi. It was gentle handling, looping whatever was left of the wraps around his arms, cutting the medical tape with the canines of his teeth to place it all together.

"That's not looking so bad, is it?" Erwin asked, genuinely wondering if he did a good job. Levi pulled away hesitantly, closing his hands into fists and placing them upon his lap. Thankfully they didn't unravel, and it gave Erwin a smidge of pride knowing he accomplished.

"Not too shitty, Nurse Smith," Levi was quick to tease, "at least you're good enough for something."

"You're so mean to me," Erwin pouted, his blue eyes glaring at him. Levi's frown twitched, unsure how to respond to that. Then he left Levi be with that thought, off to go back investigating for himself once more, moving to dig through the chest for anything else that could be useful- since that's bound to work again.

He carefully picked around, trying his best not to get cut with any sharp broken glass pieces, the clinking noise of glasses being moved around sounded almost louder than the storm above them. Amongst the wreckage though, there was salvation, a small wooden box was left inside the chest underneath the mess of broken crap. 

Erwin curiously reached for the bottom and pulled it out, sitting on his knees to place the box over his lap, using the candle light to examine the engravings burned into the wood.

Wall Rose Exports. Year 845.  
Of course, a familiar brand. Who ever owned this had expensive tastes, and Erwin only hoped there was something good inside. He was careful with unclasping the box with his thumb, his brows knitting curiously like a puppy, and once the box opened his sapphire eyes sparkled in the low light of the candle.

Erwin never planned on indulging on his tobacco urges during their mission, right now hardly seemed like the time to be smoking... And yet, he still picked one up, inhaling the smell of tobacco against the finely wrapped cigar and- yes. It was of expensive tastes.

Scooting back to sit against the wall, one knee drawn up to his chest, he examined once again. The ache and tension in his muscles begged him to take a break, but his mind and responsibility yelled at him to cease and desist. He also considered Levi's feelings- knowing what a clean freak he was. All he did was admire it instead.

"I was planning on picking up my cigars again after all of this," Erwin finally commented out loud, just to fill in the silence with some conversation, putting the cigar back in it's respective box, "only ever got the chance to smoke after a victorious mission... I haven't touched them in years though, never even had time after the Coup Dé'tat."

"Maybe when we get back..." Levi muttered solemnly, his hand mindlessly picking at the wood of the chair, yanking a splinter off, "who knows... It's not like it'll kill you, right?"

Erwin sighed in response, remembering home. Frustration and backed-up emotion was unintentionally evident in his tone... God, he was such a mess. Levi stood up from the wooden chair and staggered towards Erwin, finding himself a comfortable spot to sit against the wall just beside the Commander, legs straightened forward. He took the cigar box in his hands, examining the burned branding engrained into the wooden box, thumb tracing over the pattern of a rose.

It was clear they weren't intending on immediately going back to the others much like they had planned previously.

"How did you hurt your leg?" Erwin couldn't help but ask, turning his head to fully face the Captain, noticing how the orange hue of candle light caressed his features softly. Levi's shoulders tensed, his motions stopped.

"It happened after I had fought the Beast," Levi said, bitterness on his tongue, "I had him, that bearded bastard, right there underneath my boot, but... I hesitated, and the Cart Titan managed to take him and retreat. I narrowly escaped, but I think I twisted my ankle again while I did."

Erwin slowly nodded, processing what he meant through several different lenses. Levi still spoke with regret, as if anything could have been changed... It was quiet for a moment, but another tense kind of quiet, only the rain patter being heard.

"...I know I should have-" 

"I'm sure I was pretty damn ugly for a pure titan, huh?" Erwin cut off, his steely gaze boring into him as he changed the subject, he didn't want Levi to feel any worse about this than he already did. Killing the Beast was not something Levi needed to regret over. Luckily, Levi was quick to catch on.

"Yeah," Levi agreed, sated with the distraction for now, "you were... I wish there could have been a way to capture it. you had these huge arms and a shit-eating look on your face, drooling all over the place. It was... Pretty absurd knowing that was actually you."

Erwin hummed at that, delightfully amused only for a second, trying to imagine how he'd look. Levi looked down a moment, now his turn to ask questions, picking at the edge of his boot as he thought carefully.

"Do you remember eating Bertholdt...?" Levi eventually asked, and Erwin could feel the mood drop to a dark one again. It couldn't be helped, no matter how hard Erwin wanted to avoid it. This was their reality, a slave to it. He needed to embrace it harshly.

"No... I just remember waking up on the wall right after the charge," Erwin said, but he rubbed his chin as a wave of sleepiness abruptly washed over him, that fuzzy memory that wasn't his popped into his mind again. "But... I do know how Armin died..."

Levi turned with interest, thin brows scrunched slightly, "what do you mean by that?"

"I'm... Not exactly sure myself," Erwin admitted, his right arm scratching at the back on his neck anxiously, unsure how to even accept this, "but it's like I saw it happening with my own eyes, as if... I had killed Armin myself."

"That's impossible," Levi growled, "Bertholdt killed Armin, he burned him alive, remember?"

"I know he did... But, I think I might have inherited his memories," Erwin bowed his head slightly as he said this, strands of blonde hair falling messily over his face, and Levi froze wordlessly. "I've been haunted by the image of Armin burning alive since the moment we got here, I can feel it right down to the heat. It's as if I was actually there."

"I see..." Levi took a shaky breath, his hands now balled into fists against his lap, holding back once again. Erwin raised a brow, his cheek rested against his palm, noticing just how tense the smaller man was now. This wasn't anything new for the Captain, but around Erwin, it was. Levi was always honest with Erwin about how he felt for the most part, expressing it in his own way, but this restraint... Usually Erwin was the one to act like this. Not Levi.

"Okay, that's enough," Erwin huffed, now straightening out his seating to be more attentive, crossing his legs into a pretzel, "be honest with me... How are you feeling right now?"

Levi's expression hardened, never looking to Erwin, "You shouldn't be worrying..."

"Why not?"

"Because..." He choked out, his anger bubbling towards the brim, reminiscent of a dog barring its fangs, "I put you back into this hell..."

"You made your choice, Levi," Erwin muttered, remaining gentle, "we can't go back."

Levi growled at that, slamming his fist into the wall behind him abruptly, moving to his knees to directly face the Commander, seething with rage. Erwin never flinched, his face flattening, knowing full well what's going to take place.

"Don't you think I know that?" Levi grumbled, his voice low and venomous but never raised, "you want honesty, Erwin Smith...?The truth is, you were the wrong choice. It's my fault I'm weak, that I couldn't have stopped you, that I keep making the worst decisions and not only do I have to pay for them- but everybody else has to as well."

Erwin felt as if he were singed by the flame, but judging by Levi's face, he felt a hundred times worse than Erwin ever did. For a man that never cried, it was difficult to imagine just how much must be bottled up inside him, and it was starting to spill. The cork was bound to pop off.

"I was well aware that'd I'd be bringing you back into this hell if I chose you, but I still did," Levi admitted, slowly moving back to sit on his hip using his leg to balance, careful not to move his hurt leg. "Because I'm a selfish piece of shit... I couldn't imagine living in a world where you were dead, one without your guidance. To me, you are humanity's only hope."

Erwin shut his mouth, pursing his lips, unprepared for this sudden information dump when he should have been. Levi stared back, expecting to be hit, hardened and still as if Erwin would kill him... But he couldn't have been more wrong. Instead, Erwin cupped his cheek, careful not to irritate the cuts left on his face.

He's never touched Levi this intimately before, nothing lustful but more... Who knows? Levi never pulled away, even with the slight jolt of his arms- almost an attempt to fight back, before deciding against it.

"Levi, you're not weak," Erwin said, "you're the strongest solider I have ever come to meet-"

"No shit," Levi mumbled, "but I'm not strong enough to send people to their death, like you... I'm weak on the inside."

"No, that's not true," Erwin said, firm, his glare searing to punctuate it, "listen to me Levi... Nobody can do my job. I don't even want to do my job. It shouldn't be normal to keep it all down, witnessing so much death, and be the reason why their blood is on your hands... Don't throw yourself down because you can't handle it, because the truth is, nobody should. It's not something you can ever get used to."

Levi's eyes widened, absorbing what was told to him, pupils shrunk with shock. Erwin made an attempt to smile, just to console, his eyes squinting slightly. He hated seeing Levi like this, in fact, he hated seeing anybody like this. There was something familiar in Levi that Erwin used to always see in the mirror, the weight of humanity's fate was tearing them apart. What Erwin wouldn't do to take that away and burden it all himself.

"That's why I... I knew you could handle making the choice, because I trusted that you could," Erwin continued gently, stroking his thumb underneath Levi's eye, "but that's not something you deserve praise over, because in the end... It needed to happen. Nobody knows what the right choice will ever be, but I do know that you need to make it count. Just as much as I do."

Levi nodded, and moved to hold Erwin's hand against his face, feeling his cold finger tips and the cloth of his bandages. "I know, and I want to, I really want to make this all count... I'm just..."

Silence filled the room again, Levi just taking a moment to calm his breathing, feeling the warmth of Erwin's hand. 

"You're tired, Levi," Erwin finished for him instead, and Levi nodded again, "then let's rest... We can worry about everything tomorrow. We'll discover the truth about our world, and we can go back home. Is that okay?" 

"Okay..." Levi mumbled, now frail again, his muscles no longer tense as they were before. He pulls Erwin's hand from his cheek, taking it into his palm and kisses it much like one would towards Royalty, looking to Erwin with a silent promise, "... But I can't right now. I still have a lot left to do, I'm sorry."

Erwin's heart fluttered, too fuzzy-minded to even comprehend whatever Levi said, "Go ahead... I'll be here for you."

He wanted to say so much more but there was no time to say them, inevitably letting his angel fly away, left with nothing but a candle and invasive thoughts. Erwin, after what just happened, still manages to be a hypocrite. Finding no comfort with the words he told Levi. He needed to keep moving forward... But Levi inevitably was right, even if there was no proof telling them otherwise.

Erwin knew he wasn't the right choice.  


**To be continued...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay that was a longer chapter, about 8k words. I had to cut out a lot for sake of pacing, but lemme tell you now, it was all really depressing stuff.
> 
> As for the next chapter, I'm debating whether I should change to Levi's or Eren's perspective, or if I should remain Erwin's. I think I might just keep it Erwin,,, but who knows I change my mind a lot lol.
> 
> Anyways, again, I hope you enjoyed! See you next chapter!


	3. Life, Death, and the Hell in between

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin sees the basement. He fulfills his dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey fellow readers, welcome to Chapter 3!
> 
> There are a few trigger warnings! Please be aware of: use of tobacco substances, graphic depictions of violence, and as well as a major character death.
> 
> Also, I didn't really edit this chapter, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes.
> 
> The OST for this chapter are two songs, so if you want to fully emerse yourself, here are the links!
> 
> Dina Fritz/Royal Blood Theme: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WQ576Rv6Omc
> 
> VC-PF20130218/Eren and Mikasa revisit Shiganshina: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rXKcHqXDRqI
> 
> Again, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy!
> 
> **[This message goes out to that one Detective A: Hi.]**

_"Armin... Is that all you could possibly do?"_

_It was excruciatingly hot. So hot, it could burn away flesh, capable of roasting any living organism in the vicinity alive. Bertholdt knew this, but he never stopped from repelling steam from his Colossal Titan, using all of the power he possibly could to rid of the naive devil who clung to him... Why wasn't it working...?_

_"Someone as smart as you... You should know better," Bertholdt mumbled to himself inside his cocoon of titan flesh, beginning to sweat with both exertion and overheating, teetering on the seesaw of emotions between frustration and pity. Armin continued to cling to him, now covering over his face as the heat intensified, the skin of his face and hands peeling to expose the red muscle underneath. "You'd rather stay and scorch to death... Why? Is this some kind of desperate final attempt?"_

_Eren still hasn't moved from where Bertholdt last saw him... And the others were busy being dealt with by Reiner and Warchief Zeke... Was there really no better idea to be had? This one feeble attempt... That was so... Pathetic._

_Bertholdt settled, deciding he truly did feel pity for these Island Devils. This wasn't fair to them, in the end, it wasn't their fault they were born into this cruel world. They fought well, but they were never supposed to stand a chance... This is just how it has to be._

_"I understand... If this really is the end for you, I'll put you to rest, Armin..."_

_The heat managed to drastically increase as the steam he expelled blew stronger. Bertholdt made the decision to end it, once and for all, trying to ignore the sharp gutteral scream followed after it. It sounded like the horrors of Bertholdt's nightmares, ringing in his ears like a constant bell chime, resonating within his chest until he felt numb. He witnessed Armin's body tearing apart by the force, and Bertholdt kept pushing... Until Armin let go._

_Time froze._  
The world motionless.  
 _Erwin was now in Bertholdt's place, tethered to the Colossal Titan as he witnessed Armin being flung away; corpse like and burned down to his muscle, hardly recognizable. Nothing continued as Erwin glared at Armin, nothing but bubbling guilt filling his stomach. This is where the memory always ended._

_Nothing was going to continue the longer Erwin stood motionless, holding his breath. Why, of all things, was Erwin remembering this? What triggered this to be the only thing left behind by Bertholdt? Dammit... This truly had to be Erwin's Hell._

_It felt like forever... Nothing was ever going to change. Eventually Erwin exhaled as he accepted that, moving his eyes to witness anywhere else- literally anything else, unable to stomach the image before him any longer than he was... That's when he noticed Eren's titan._

_Abruptly, time unfroze. The steam dissipated. Erwin felt his whole body run cold, blood crystallising in his veins._

_"GOTCHA!"_

Erwin stumbled awake with a sharp gasp, finding himself laid against the floor, gentle candlelight right beside his face. His pupils were shrunken, vision blurry as he tried to reassess his surroundings, taking a moment to separate dream from reality. He was still in the Wine Cellar, and telling from the perpetual pitter-patter of raining from above, not much time must have gone by. 

How he managed to be laying now was left unexplained, so dangerously close to the flame of the candle, wax melting and building up to the bottom of the holder. He blew it out before he moved to sit up properly, rubbing at his forehead with the base of his palm, looking up and noticing Levi had returned. Just as he promised.

He was asleep, sat in the wooden chair near the darkest side of the Cellar, arms crossed as his head tilted gently to the side. He seemed so peaceful, lips slightly parted, no evidence of stress on his features. Erwin remembers Levi doing this long before, Levi never asked for a bed even if he was capable of sleeping in one, always catching his rest on chairs or couches. 

Erwin always nagged him about it, but Levi always argued it was more comfortable for him. Heh, what a strange man... Erwin couldn't help but admire that.

Erwin softly huffed, looking around for anything else to do, far too unsettled to fall back to sleep. He could feel his dream gnawing at the back of his head, the memory ingrained into his retinas now for a different reason than before.

That scream... That had to be Eren, right? It was haunting, flooded with nothing but pure hatred, an intensity Erwin has only seen from the boy once. Back when they first captured him, in the dungeons, when Eren swore to kill all the Titans... It was a well-deserved hatred. Armin was Eren's best friend. Erwin would have felt the same way if he was put into that position.

As for Bertholdt... He's never heard his thoughts before. It used to only be imagery at first, but now Erwin has the full scene. He noted that Bertholdt acted as if he had a duty, and in that moment it seemed as if he was coming to terms with it as he murdered Armin. That being said, Erwin had to wonder, was Warchief Zeke the Beast Titan? 

Warchief... That had a lot of implications to it. Whoever Zeke was, where ever he came from, he had to have some high status in his military. This meant... Humanity does exist beyond the Walls. Erwin's heart clenched in his chest, piecing it all together as his life-long suspicions began to confirm themselves.

Incredible, his Father was right all along... But who were they? Where did they come from? 

Levi made a noise, a muffled groan of pain. Erwin's head jolted up immediately, watching as the Captain settled into his seat better, leaning up to straighten his back. Erwin took the moment to slowly crawl to his feet, careful not to wake him, but a creaky floorboard was quick to give him away.

Levi, with the lightning fast reflexes he had, snapped his eyes open- his hands already prepared for defense. A couple confused blinks later, Levi relaxed, crossing his arms again as he lazily hummed, looking down at Erwin with lids heavily drooping. 

"It's just you," Levi murmured, softly yawning before slumping over to face Erwin directly, the Commander leaning the side of his head against Levi's thigh as he sunk back down. Levi pat his hair in return, sleepily moving the hair away from his face, not questioning why they were now in this position. "Fuck... How long were we out?"

"No idea. Probably not long enough," Erwin replied back, just barely above a whisper, closing his eyes for a moment. He absorbed every touch, internalizing it, praying it would never end. 

"You're probably right..." Levi yawned again, running his calloused fingers through the golden strands mindlessly, another touch so intimate Erwin already knew he had to savor it, "I couldn't resist... I forgot what sleeping felt like."

"Maybe when we get back home..." Erwin paused, unsure if what he was about to say would be way too forward. He felt the same cold feeling run through his nerves much like it did while he dreamt, and he quickly resisted speaking any further. He couldn't risk it, he wasn't going to gamble the question, not when Levi's touches felt so good. If he said anything wrong, he just might ruin it.

"I'm definitely sleeping for an entire day when we get back," Levi continued anyways, his gentle strokes ceasing, making Erwin look up at him in effect, "maybe I'll even be able to finally take a peaceful shit."

Erwin made a noise in the back of his throat, an almost-laugh as he usually does. Levi visibly appreciates it, ruffling up Erwin's hair as a response before resting his hand upon his cheek, his eyes squinting. Erwin had dubbed it 'the cat smile', only Levi does to avoid actually smiling, showing his gratitude with a cat-like squint.

He looks so pretty right now, glossed over with sleepiness, the single remaining candle making him glow, looking as if he lacked any worry in the world. Levi deserved to look like this more, it made him appear more youthful just being this relaxed. He might be no angel, but he was just as beautiful as one would imagine an angel to be. The sight was entrancing, tempting choices that'll eventually lead to guilt, but in the moment he was willing to take that chance no longer willing to keep it at bay. It made Erwin wonder, moving his hand along Levi's thigh... It made him wonder...

"Levi... You're-"

That's when someone suddenly cried out from the outside, a scream injected with agony and confusion. Erwin had immediately forgotten what he'd wanted to say.

"Sasha?! H-Hey, stop messing around! This isn't a joke anymore!"

Quickly, Erwin and Levi jolted to their feet, sharing knowing glances as they rushed out to witness the issue, blood pumping fast as he automatically assumed there was danger. As he helped Levi crawl out of the Cellar ladder, Erwin could head the sounds of boots clumping against the floor, the voices of other Scouts echoing through the cathedral.

The young soldier, Connie, on his knees in the holding a young redheaded girl tightly in his arms, as if he'd die if he were to let her go. Eren and Mikasa were crouched by his side, Hange and Jean on the other as they hopelessly watched, the boy crying as he pressed his forehead against hers. Floch remained distant.

"Sasha, no, no, no! Please!" Connie whimpered, his hand pressed over her chest- checking for a pulse that... Erwin knew was gone. She wasn't visibly breathing. "Sasha?!"

Mikasa grabbed at Sasha's wrist frantically and holding two fingers against it, waiting for a heartbeat that just wouldn't come. She stayed holding on to her limp wrist, just as in denial as Connie, tears bubbling in her eyes as her bottom lip quivered with the threat of crying. 

"N-No!" Mikasa whimpered, the tears uncontrollably running down her face, lacking the words to beg for Sasha's life, "No!"

"I'm sorry... Sasha is dead..." Hange could hardly choke the words out, placing their hand over the young soldier's back. Jean immediately turned away, grasping at his head and made a choking sound, shaking violently. Levi hissed a curse to himself, looking away and down to his boots.

Eren watched, slowly backing away wide-eyed. He said nothing. His expression was unreadable this time; dead and glossed over like a corpse. All the life lost in his eyes, not even the remains of vengeance and anger.

When the realization settled in, Connie hugged Sasha closely to himself, bawling as he buried his face into the girl's shoulder as he shook like a fawn in the cold. Mikasa moved one of her hands to cover over her mouth, bursting into a rainstorm as she cried into her palm, using her free hand to hold Sasha's own in a weak grip, interlocking their fingers.

Another one of the 104th training squadron was dead.

"S-Sasha... God dammit, no..."

Erwin stepped closer, standing before the distraught teens. All except Eren looked up at the Commander- bleary and distressed. He felt like the last person who should be allowed to grieve, but he still felt sorry, even if he didn't know Sasha that well. It was clear to these kids that she meant a lot.

"What were Sasha's last words...?" Erwin asked, kneeling beside the Scouts, taking the space Eren had left behind. Mikasa knit her brows, looking between Erwin and Connie, silently asking the same question as she wiped at her face with her sleeve. Connie took a shallow breath.

"Sasha's last word... Was 'Meat'," Connie croaked, whimpers following after his words, his blood-covered hands holding onto the lapels of Sasha's uniform, "she... She was answering one of my jokes. She laughed and then just... I can't... I can't fucking believe it."

Jean finally turned around to the sound of Connie's voice, finally facing the body, his grip on the back of his neck deathly as he tried not to curl up into himself, leaving marks with his blunt nails- nearly enough to bleed. His eyes were open wide as they traced the gore of the scene, petrified.

"S-So... You're saying... I lost another friend today...?" Jean said, much like the innocence of a lost child unable to even comprehend death yet, forcing out a strong voice. There might be no tears, but he sounded on the verge of cracking under the pressure. Hange looked up at the boy from where they were kneeled, trying their best to console Connie and Mikasa at the same them, pitifully glaring at Jean as he tried his best to hold it together.

"Jean," they softly called, and he looked back with unnecessary intensity. They beckoned him over towards the group, opening their arms as a request. "Please."

Jean hesitated at first, his golden pupils scanning over Connie and Mikasa, and with the bite of his bottom lip he finally sunk down with them- wrapping his arms around the two as he buried his face into the crook of the girl's neck, letting his barriers go as tears slowly ran down his face, gritting his teeth to avoid making any noise.

Erwin looked down at his hands against his lap. Life and Death. The only perpetual constants amongst time itself, unstoppable and inescapable. Erwin wished he could do something, anything to take away this pain, yet there was nothing. How cruel must the fates be...

"We'll take her home," Erwin finally said, standing up after paying his respects. This would be the first time the Scouts would ever bring a full body back home to their family. "Put her body by the entrance and lay a cape over her. I swear to you, we won't leave her behind."

Hange was the only one to acknowledge the order.

That's when a cruel noise came from his throat in a low rumble, cutting through the air like a sharp blade. Laughter. It catches Erwin's attention, and luckily Levi picked up on it too, both searching for the voice. Eren's knees buckled as he struggled to stay standing clutched at his stomach, clawing into his shirt and balling his fists, bent over as he then began to cough.

The rest of the Scouts looked back to witness it, turning their heads. Mikasa especially looking with unbridled shock, her mouth slightly open as tears rolled down her face, trying to telepathically send Eren a message. Eren paid no attention to her.

"Eren." Levi said almost as a warning, reeling his injured leg back, almost in a fighting stance. Erwin stepped closer to Eren to counter, a ballsy move on his part. Eren heaved a breath, now grabbing at his skull as he shakily looked up at the Captain, streams rolling down his to jaw as he smiled and whimpered. His eyes then darted towards Erwin, pupils contracted as he steadied himself, arms at his side.

"I understand..." Eren said, and he walked towards the Commander, even closing his eyes a bit to seem friendly. Erwin could see right past it, the trembling in his voice and body revealed more than enough. "I understand how it really is now... Things just never change, right?"

Eren reeled back a step, his glare now deadmarked on Erwin's face, still grinning nervously. The Commander made no attempt to respond, narrowing his own eyes suspiciously, stone-faced as he tried to understand just what Eren was doing. A part of himself was challenging him, glaring down at Eren knowing damn well whatever he does next will change everything.

Unfortunately, he wasn't expecting a punch to the face, when he really should have. Eren's fist connected with the bridge of his nose, causing the Commander to lurch to his side and bite back a growl, ruby red dribbling down his nose through his right nostril from the impact.

Erwin pressed his thumb to the blood, wiping it away as best as he could, appearing unfazed. He deserved that.

Levi never skipped a beat, having Eren to the ground in a matter of seconds. He kicked the boy in the direct center of his abdomen with his shin, causing Eren to collide against the floor with a heavy and painful thud, head first. Levi then stomped against his chest for good measure, hard enough to hear the crack of bones as he smashed the heel of his boot into his ribcage.

Eren spat up blood in effect, tilting his head back and coughing as if he'd just escaped a fire, slapping his hand against the floor as a way to beg for his life- but Levi persisted, keeping his weight placed over the teen to keep him pinned. 

"Eren!" Mikasa cried, already desperate to defend, only to be held back by Jean at the last second. He grabbed her by wrapping his arms around her midriff, tugging her back without really any hesitance nor seemingly any thought behind it, making the girl pound her fists against his arms with all her strength.

"Mikasa stop! Shit, you're hurting me!" 

Eren wasn't easily knocked to submission though, grabbing at Levi's boot and twisted it with the remaining strength he had, pulling the Captain down as he heaved- his breath sounding like a death rattle, blood spilling onto the marble as it poured from his lips. Levi avoided himself being trapped, using his injured leg to mercilessly mash into Eren's crotch repeatedly before he could be pinned down, taking advantage of Eren's weakness by yanking the boy by his hair, wrapping his arms around his neck to further restrain him- choking him.

"I said I was gonna fucking kill you," Levi snarled into his ear, coiling his arm tighter around Eren's throat, keeping himself locked in place as Eren frantically kicked for his freedom. It was like a trap game, the harder Eren fought, the more stuck he became- his face turning different shades of purple and red as Levi prohibited his breathing. Levi was keeping his promise.

"Eren!" Mikasa wailed again, leaning back against Jean as she tried to headbutt him unconscious, but he never let up, "Please! Not him too! He's all I have, you can't-!"

"Levi, stop!" Hange shouted, already on their feet, already intending to join the fight. Levi never budged, now using his other hand to tilt Eren's chin with force, fully intending on breaking his neck.

"That's enough!" Erwin ordered, his booming voice enough to echo through the cathedral, just before the situation could get any worse. Levi glared back at him like a wild animal, finally catching his attention. He seemed predatory, like a wolf on the hunt, already locking his jaws around his prey and dead-set on finishing it off. Erwin repeated himself calmly this time, bitter as he lashed his words out.

"That's an order, Levi. Enough." 

It took Levi a second before loosening his grip around Eren, the boy collapsing to his hands and knees as he spat out more blood mixed in with saliva. Levi must have punctured his lungs when he broke his ribs... But Erwin knew he'd be fine. 

Eren let out a brutal wheeze, almost sounding like a violent hiccup, repetitively crackling in his throat as if it were painful, yelping as he heaved for breaths. He bent over to press his forehead against the floor, his shivering returned as he hugged to his chest and dug his fingers into his shoulders, the laugher returning. 

But this time it was more sorrowful, the maniacal laugher led by gutteral sobs, lamenting as he slammed his fist against the floor- against his own blood. A suffering animal, unsure how else to grieve, and Erwin couldn't hold that against him. 

The Commander kneeled before the boy, his hands politely rested on his knee, his gaze frozen with nothing telling on his face. This felt all too familiar. Eren didn't look up, not until Levi pulled him back by his hair, forcing Eren to kneel as well. That look in his eyes... Something so familiar, Erwin couldn't quite pin-point why...

"Levi. Leave, right now." Erwin repeated once again with a lot more hostility, and the Captain glared back at him as if he'd just said something blasphemous.

"I said... I said I was going to..."

"And I'm telling you to take a walk. Get out of here."

Levi faintly scoffed in return, his limp more prominent as he stormed away just past Floch, leaving from Erwin's direct line of vision to somewhere he wasn't aware of. Erwin never looked to check back on him, knowing damn well Levi needed to cool off, he wasn't going to feel bad for being right.

Nobody else needed to die. There was so little of them left already, and being at each other's throats would mean none of them would survive.

Erwin examined Eren with knit brows, feeling nothing but concern. That look in his eyes... It's so familiar, a darkness that vanquished any chances of hope. It was miserable. Erwin now remembers where he's seen that face before: years ago, long before Wall Maria was attacked, when Levi first joined the Survey Corps. Every damn person had in the Underground. 

It's like he'd given up... Or he's lacking any reason to continue caring.

"Eren, how are you feeling?" Erwin asked the moment Eren died down into sniffles, his voice remained low and gentle not to scare him off. It was a stupid question, sure, but Erwin wasn't entirely heartless. Eren stared back, ducking his head as if it were to heavy to even keep it up, puffing out steam from his mouth with every heavy pant.

"Sh... Shut up..." Eren rasped, hardly above a whisper. He heaves between his words, a hollow sound caught in his vocal chords as he breathes. "You... You shouldn't be alive..."

Erwin sighed heftily, looking down at his boots. This was difficult to come to terms with, and it seemed like Eren was going to hate him for it for the rest of his life.

"Where was Armin's body left...?" Erwin then decided to ask. Eren perked up at that one, his bottom lip trembling at the threat of tears again, shocked Erwin would even ask a question like that.

"At... At an... Abandoned house... Laid in a bed... For now..." Eren whimpered, his demeanor calming down, "I... I want to... Take him to see the sea... Bury him there..."

The Church fell silent, the faint crackle of the campfire and storm filling in as ambience, everyone holding their breaths wondering who'd be the next one to speak. Mikasa had been soothed by Jean, luckily, now leaned back against his chest as she watched Eren- silently begging for him to say something. Jean kept his hands away from her, the shadow of the fire working to his favor, hiding his expression.

"Commander Erwin..." Eren then piped up again, trying his best to remain calm so that he wouldn't irritate his lungs, answering to Mikasa's plead. "This worthless game... Is over... Armin is dead because of you... Nothing but a pawn... And we still... Lost..."

Erwin looked up, his face tightening into anger. Lost? He's heard those words before too, countless times. But this was no loss, Eren was making light of what happened today. Armin's sacrifice was no useless pawn, they did exactly what they came here to do. They reclaimed Wall Maria, they managed to capture the Colossal Titan... To say Armin's sacrifice was meaningless was absurd.

"Worthless game...?" Erwin hissed, feeling a strong sense of deja'vu, as if he was repeating himself. "Eren... Did you really think that this mission could have been successful without all of this sacrifice? Are you really going to undermine all the hearts that dedicated themselves to the victory of humanity?"

The boy didn't respond, lowering his head as if he was demanding for this conversation to conclude. Erwin never allowed it. He leaned in threateningly, his voice dripping with venom. "Do you even understand who our enemy is?"

Eren shifted his position, now leaning back to rest on his legs and hunched over, his face shuddering as a realization washes over him, gritting his teeth and grimacing.

"I'm to blame. I should have never trusted Armin... I'm too naive and weak, I should have stopped him." Eren growled, raising his voice again only to fall into a fit of violent coughs, a little blood splattering out but luckily it wasn't as bad as it was before- his wounds were healing. "If I were to just... Lose my damned pride... Maybe this wouldn't have been such a failure."

"No! You're wrong!"

Erwin rose, looming over the boy like a tower, his glare poisonous. Eren looked up with tears in his eyes, his brows scrunched with confusion. "I'm the reason why so many of our subordinates are dead, I'm not even... I was supposed to die with my men, finally make use of the hearts that were given... You shouldn't have to suffer for the gambles that I make."

Erwin raised his right arm, a dull phantom pain surging from his shoulder down to his wrist, tightening his hand into a fist. "...But even so, you cannot call this a failure. You're making light of those who died, and the sacrifice they made to let us stand here today. We were all born into this Hellish world, we just do what we can to further ourselves into a better future... It's not our fault that we were made like this, it's our enemies'!"

Eren blinked, as if he remembered something, Erwin's words resonating within the boy with a deeper double-meaning the Commander wasn't aware of. The boy then sulked, hugging himself tightly, expelling a steam cloud with a sharp gasp.

"There is something out there, something bigger than any of us can imagine. The answers to our world, the reason why this all was worth it." Erwin said, and he held out his right hand, gesturing Eren to stand. "We can't forget what Armin has done for us. You need to make it your new mission to honor how he lived... But if it makes you feel any better, hate me. Blame this all on me. Do what you must, Hell only knows how much I deserve it."

Eren glared at the hand before him before grabbing Erwin's by his forearm, allowing himself to be pulled up to his feet. The boy heaved, still clutching at his chest, but immensely better than how Levi had left him... Erwin couldn't forget that Levi was a bred killing machine. 

Wait, what?

"I won't forget... I never will..." Eren then cut him off his thought, his hold on Erwin's arm tight, keeping the Commander's attention with a tug, "but... You need to realize that Levi's choice... Was selfish."

Erwin ripped his arm away, narrowing his eyes. He already knew that. "So was yours. We all want someone back."

It was then that Connie has stood up, a harsh reminder of the cruelty they'd all just endured. He closes his eyes, letting go of the girl's uniform from his tight grip and placed his own cape over her, using his efforts to carry her body towards the entrance, teary eyed.

Once placed down against the floor, Jean stayed with him, allowing the two to mourn in peace. Mikasa took her chance to run to Eren's side, checking him for his injuries but was pushed away. Erwin made one final order before retreating to speak with Hange, knowing Levi will return once he's ready.

"By morning, once this storm blows over, we'll go visit the basement and then leave." Erwin had said, "the next great leap for humanity is just in our path, just please get as much rest as you possibly can."

The morning came abruptly. It was silent in the Cathedral, birds and cicadas singing from the outside, the sunrise glowing through the colored mosaics. Erwin was the first to wake-up, having slept by the main group this time on top of a wooden pew. The fire had died out, not even ashes or smoke to remain. 

Erwin didn't dream this time, or maybe he did he just couldn't remember... But it's not like it mattered. He was here now, and a bubbling feeling resonated in his chest. Today was the day. He'll make his Father proud.

The scouts woke up one by one, getting ready for the day by packing up any of their belongings, eating the last of their bread rations. Erwin decided to take Hange with him, and Eren chose that Mikasa would join him, and off they treaded around Shiganshina. Erwin trusted Levi with the duty of caring for the other scouts, depending on him to be ready once he were to return with the truth of this world.

Walking around Shiganshina felt... Haunted. He could see the ghosts of all the innocent lives that were lost on the day they were attacked, represented by miscellaneous items that remained long after them; old food stands, children's toys, baby boots, a pillar, playing cards... That wasn't even mentioning the copious amounts of human bones that were left.

Erwin could feel the tension between the four of them, specifically Eren and Mikasa, watching them as they relived their childhoods. Eren got eager, running the corner of a tailor shop and then... A huge boulder, covered in growing moss, vegetation blooming around a destroyed home, life replacing the death as the cycle continues.

"Is this the place?" Hange asked. Eren turned around abruptly, his mouth moving but no words came out. Mikasa looked at him, they shared a grim expression, and Eren then nodded.

"Yeah... This was our childhood home."

The horse ride returning to Wall Rose had a different air, nobody spoke a word, only the vague chatter between horses as they keened. The clopping of hooves against the dirt path, trudging through Wall Maria's massive woods, tense as they awaited for any surprise attack to come their way. None did.

When they reached the Wall, those citizens on the other side cheered for them, a huge celebration for the arrival of the Survey Corps. 

"The mission to reclaim Wall Maria... Was a SUCCESS!"

Erwin stood silently on the edge, looking down below, people chanting "Dedicate Your Hearts" for the remaining nine members who survived the mission, popping streamers and firing cannons for the huge victory. Eren looked down standing beside him, carrying three journals, not a word shared between the two.

Then came the meeting with Zackley and the Vanguard. Hange did most of the talking, explaining their discoveries and how Erwin was now the new Colossal Titan inheritor. Pixis was drunk the entire time, appearing extremely happy over the reclamation of Wall Maria, causing Nile to have to babysit to avoid Pixis from accidentally running out the window naked. 

They planned a meeting with Queen Historia to happen the next day, as a way to honor all the Scouts who have died, and to commemorate those who survived. To give a thank you for everything the Survey Corps has done for all of humanity... Erwin had to correct them for saying that.

He remembers what Zackley said to him before getting onto his carriage back home.  
"You have a lot of responsibility now, Commander Erwin Smith. It must be a lot on your shoulders."

It is.

Now back he in his home after an entire day of interviews and celebration, safe in comforts of his small apartment, sat beside his window sill. The night was still filled with festivities outside, drunken citizens cheering and crying as the bands and parades blasted music.

Levi was across from him, sprawled on Erwin's bed comfortably, finally catching the sleep he needed. He doesn't even know how Levi managed to get himself inside his room, but it's not like he minded.

Erwin takes his long awaited victory smoke break. He used a pocket knife to cut the end of the cigar. He didn't want to be caught so vulnerable, internally glad Levi was sleeping right now. He was at his lowest, not just anybody but himself got to see that.

Erwin put the tip of the cigar into the flame of his lantern, the moment it caught fire he blew out the small flame to even it out. Once done he put the opposite end to his lips, sucking in the smoke and closing his eyes as if receiving a tender kiss.

He took it slow, limbs growing heavier, his breath held.

The taste. The smell. The feeling.  
Reveling in the smoke overtaking his senses rather than the feeling of hot blood steaming, the smell of carnage and corpses, the bitter taste of iron and dirt. He only puffed out once after he was able to wash out the permanent taste of blood on his tongue, his blonde lashes fluttering when he opened his eyes again, spewing smoke outside his window.

Reality slowly settled in. Erwin just needed a moment. That's all. At first it felt good, but then his vulnerable state got the best of him- his mind reminding him at the worst time of everything that's ever happened the second he asked that damned question to his Father during school. Everything that has ever happened has lead up to this point.

He felt something heaving in his chest- heart pounding as he is reminded of events previously, a looming anxiety causing him to choke a whimper, but before he allowed himself to think about it he took another hit. It no longer felt good, at this rate Erwin was forcing himself to smoke, just for the sake of it.

He could still see flashes. The last thing Erwin remembers ever laying his eyes upon before nearly dying was the sight of his own blood spilling into the air as he falls off the back of his faithful steed, collapsing and tumbling against the grass as the screams of his comrades were all that he could sense. The sight of boulders shredding his soldiers.

His soldiers...

He heavily exhaled and smudged his cigar against a cigarette plate, making sure the smoke was all gone before disposing of it. He wasn't in the mood anymore.

"God dammit..." Erwin grumbled, gritting his teeth as he used the heel of his right hand to rub at his eye, his head aching and his pulse pounding as the last of his smoke escaped through the cracks of his teeth. This didn't work as well as he wanted it to. He never wanted to smoke again.

He felt exasperated- no, terrified was a better word. After everything, his questions have been finally answered and he proved his Father right, he should be more grateful... But he wasn't. He tried to keep composure, breaths shallow and posture stiff just to make it appear as if he wasn't deteriorating inside, and overall any normal person wouldn't be able to tell if Erwin was having an anxiety attack if they didn't know better.

Unfortunately, Levi always knew better.

"Oye, Erwin," Levi whispered, turning his head to face the Commander, sounding as if he'd just woken up. It was silky, smooth like honey, low. Erwin couldn't help but pay attention. "Is that the smell of your room catching on fire, or did you finally give into your vices?"

Erwin froze, unsure how to even respond to that. Levi spoke for him instead, rolling around in the sheets and beckoned him forward with a simple hand wave.

"C'mere, idiot," Levi mumbled his demand, his eyes sightly closed, just mere seconds away from passing out again. Erwin was hesitant at first- remembering the night spent in the Cellar, but obliged in the end, removing his boots before slipping in the space between Levi's arms. It felt oddly normal, not needing any excuse to be this close, to simply be in the present. The ravenette hummed in return, pleased, allowing for Erwin to bury his face into his neck.

This has been the furthest either have them have gotten with each other. Erwin never wanted to let go. In fact, he also wanted to ruin it. Go a step further. Ask questions. Hell, even run away... Instead, he accepted whatever this was as it was.

"Your brain is so damn loud, always thinking all the time," Levi muttered into his blonde hair, moving his arm around the Commander to snake over towards his face, holding his nape. Goosebumps cascaded over his skin at the cold touch, Levi's hands were always so damn cold. "I'm sure you have every reason too... Hm?"

Erwin still didn't respond. He just wanted to hear Levi's heartbeat against his neck, feeling the vein pulse against his cheek, smelling the faint lavender oil he borrowed from Erwin. Even after being exhausted, Levi always had the time to take a bath. The effort was admirable, and Erwin started to quickly regret not bathing himself earlier. He still smelled of blood.

After no response, Levi opened his eyes to look at Erwin back, his thin brows slightly arched as his pupils contracted immediately. That expression, Levi has worn it before, when Erwin was caught smiling after learning the tragedy that was the truth about Titans. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Erwin couldn't help it, he felt numb inside. No excitement, no pride, not even a smidge of happiness. Why was he so... Like this?

"I don't know..." Erwin finally said, and he sighed. "I thought I'd be... Happier about this, but I'm not..."

Levi froze, his jaw clenching as he exhaled shakily, his eyes spelling a realization to hit him all at once. Levi never elaborated on that look, blinking it off as he relaxes, stroking Erwin's cheek with his thumb.

"You spent your whole life going after that dream... Are you disappointed?"

"No..." Erwin hushly said, closing his eyes under Levi's touch, allowing his own hand to rest on Levi's back after arguing with the idea in his head. "Not at all. I've been right all along, but..."

"But what?"

Erwin thinks, or at least he pretends to, just as an excuse not to speak. In reality, he was afraid to say it. The future they held was going to be a dark one, now knowing who they were facing, he could feel it in his gut. 

"But what's next?"

**To Be Continued...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this Chapter got hard to write. It was supposed to be a lot worse than I had planned too. (When Levi was choking out Eren and about to break his neck, Mikasa was supposed to break free from Jean and fight him, making Hange join in on the mix- getting their arm broken. Also Levi was gonna pull a Miche on Eren to kinda resemble the ACWNR OVA but uhh too on the nose.) Took it out because it felt like it was unnecessary.
> 
> Also uh, yeah I killed Sasha off and left Marlowe alive, that's gonna be really important for what I have planned. It only gets worse from here.
> 
> Next up: The Beach Episode. Hope you guys like it to far. :)


	4. Beyond The Walls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We now get a glimpse of Levi's perspective. The Scouts visit the Sea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey fellow readers, welcome to Chapter 4!
> 
> We gettin' Levi's perspective folks🎶
> 
> There are a few trigger warnings! Please be aware of: graphic depictions of violence, as well as spoilers for season 4.
> 
> Also, this chapter is longer than usual! So I'm sorry for the delay in my usual update schedule. The next chapter just might even be longer, so expect a possible delay on that as well.
> 
> The OST for this chapter are plenty of songs, so if you want to fully emerse yourself, here are the links! ((These are merely suggestions though lol, I'm sure there are dozens of OSTs more fitting.))
> 
> T-KT: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mpqY5n4wZhM
> 
> st-hrn-gtr20 (these names are complicated I'm sorry): https://youtu.be/l5np88TJ4ZA
> 
> Ashes on Fire: https://youtu.be/289H9XqmmpM
> 
> Devils of Paradis (fanmade): https://youtu.be/AB_VcplQEzU
> 
> Armin's Transformation Theme (fanmade): https://youtu.be/5XVRUg_vKyI
> 
> Gabi and Falco's Theme (fanmade): https://youtu.be/c3_lgHuQf3M

Beyond the Walls, is the Sea.

Beyond the Walls... Is the rest of Humanity, apparently. Separated by a vast ocean, so large that one can't even see past it.

Said to have so much salt, merchants could spend several years harvesting it, and there would still be so much salt left.

It sparkles, reflecting the Sun's rays, slushing against the sand in a lazy repetitive motion, sweeping away any imprints made by birds in the sand.

Levi had a feeling this was maybe too good to be true. It's beauty felt deceiving in a sense, far too peaceful for comfort. After everything... And everyone who's died... This was what it all lead to. Why did it feel so wrong?

Levi could no longer stomach reveling in the view, starting to get overwhelmed with something along the lines of exertion washing over him much like the waves that crashed against the beach, taking the chance to look to his side wanting and witness his accompanying comrades' reactions to all of this instead.

Hange and Erwin were mounted on their own steeds just beside him on cliff they stood at, so that's where Levi's eyes landed first, quickly taking note of all the changes that have happened amongst them in the past year. Levi was probably the only one who's changed the least out of everyone here.

It's been a year since the reclamation of Wall Maria, all the titans have been wiped off the Island in the span of time. A year since Erwin had inherited the Colossal Titan by Levi's choice, and learned the truth of this cruel world. It felt as if it were only a few weeks ago since they'd come back from the mission, all the conversations and moments still fresh in his mind like a bleeding cut.

"But what's next?"

The question was heavy. Heavier than the heart pounding his chest. Levi knew in that moment he lost the Erwin he once knew. Shiganshina changed him, he returned a different man, more beneath the skin than just inheriting the Colossal Titan.

He remembers just staring at Erwin, laying in the same bed, matching the pattern of his breathing. It was out of character on Levi's part; usually he'd be cautious making these calculated risks for disasters, normally that'd be Erwin's job, but he was too deteriorated at the time— physically and mentally— to care as much.

"Don't worry about that right now," Levi had murmured, yawning. Erwin mimicked him right after. "You need your rest... Just stay here. Be with me."

Be with me...

Erwin accepted the request, the strands of hair Levi had pushed back earlier now falling over his face again, taut tendons and muscles now relaxing as he pulls Levi in closer to him.

He just wanted to be there with Levi, of all people. Not for his tactical ability, not for his strength, not even for what he represents. Just to rest, furthering the vague boundaries of trust Levi reserved only for Erwin.

That night was probably the best he's ever slept, in the entirety of his life. The tranquility was nothing comparable looking back, something Levi had possibly never experienced before in his life, and it only made him freeze up more just thinking about it. That was the last time he and Erwin were ever that intimate, parting their ways for the rest of the year.

There was a lot to do so it wasn't by choice: Erwin was always so busy, now shouldering all sorts of responsibility with his new abilities and all the knowledge they'd gained, only occasionally meeting up to have dinners or discuss plans with the Zackley and the other heads of Military branches.

Hange had drastically evolved their appearance since, now sporting an eye patch underneath their goggles in addition with their green bolo-tie much like Erwin's, their brunette locks cut down short enough to be at length with their jaw. The new haircut complimented their features, even if it was a mess of fluff— it suited them in a way only they could pull off. 

Erwin had appointed Hange as his official Deputy Commanding Officer, giving them shared custody of the Survey Corps while he was away. Hange proudly took on the responsibility, trying their very best to keep things as orderly as possible. With Moblit gone, they had decided to appoint Marlowe as their new assistant. Surprisingly enough, he wanted to be Hange's assistant, eager even.

Now the two drive each other mad and pull all nighters finishing up paper work. Levi can appreciate Marlowe- he is actually doing a pretty good job making sure Hange doesn't lose their mind, being only 17 and all that was pretty impressive. The kid had a good demeanor and attitude, but much like Moblit once was, he always had to get Hange out of near death experiences- and that always freaked him out.

Erwin, on the other hand, now looks older.

His thirty-six years had finally caught up with him, but still in the most appealing way. He was clean shaven just for the occasion, his soft blonde hair now accented with a singular gray streak growing from the root of his scalp, a mixture of gold and silver richer than any precious metals Levi could ever deal at the local pawn shop. 

Despite the aging, Erwin's eyes still glittered with fruitful dreams, color correcting to match the sea— as if Erwin had the ocean in his eyes all along. Levi realized just then that he didn't need to cross beyond the walls, he had it with him the whole time.

It's the first time Levi had seen them both this wordlessly amazed; for once it wasn't for the reason that something horrific or tragic having just occurred. Their lips slightly parted as their jaw slacked, sharing the same dumbfounded wonder one could only find on an bratty child's face. It was impressive to say the least, Levi was usually used to hearing Hange start screaming by now.

What he didn't account for, though, would be to see Erwin smiling. A God forbidden smile, sincere and flooded with pride, his chest whole and warm for the first time after a whole year. Levi has seen Erwin smile before, that was nothing new, but to be this at peace? Levi could never recapture for himself.

They did it. After all the sacrifice, this moment, was what lead to it all. They did it.

"Let's go."

At Erwin's cue, the Scouts hopped off their horses. Levi looked back towards the ones who accompanied on the mission beyond the walls, none other than the ones who survived the Reclamation of Wall Maria.

Levi, in contrast to Erwin and Hange, was too busy leading expeditions and exterminating all the titans from within and beyond the walls the entire year, more involved with the action on the outside. He had built up a new Special Operations Squadron with Hange, working together in their new chain of command. Mikasa, Connie, Jean, Floch, Marlowe, and Eren were the ones who consisted in their new group.

All eight of them, including the resurgence of new Scout recruits, managed to wipe out every single titan on the island. Every day they'd travel further and further throughout the land, discovering more and more of what the walls kept hidden from them.

Today they'd managed to travel the furthest, the plan being in search of any stragglers. Yet, much like in his usual fashion, Erwin came to Levi weeks before the expedition to tell him of a hunch.

And much like many of Erwin's hunches, he was right.

Their amazement was all the same, all the years and stress lifted off their young faces. It was nice to finally see them calmer for once. Levi waited to caboose everyone as they trotted off towards the beach, carefully watching Eren specifically.

The only one who appeared disinterested was Eren. After reclaiming Wall Maria and discovering "Marley", knowing Humanity beyond the sea was out there waiting for them, they needed to figure out what to do with this information.

From what Levi heard, Eren was starting to inherit his father's memories. He, Erwin, and the Queen Historia had gotten closer— for reasons that Levi had been left in the dark about, but he always assumed it was for reasons related to Marley.

The kid had aged just as much as Erwin in the past year, as if he'd been beat in the face with a stick, looking more mature than most of the Scouts in his Squadron.

His hair had grown longer, any remains or wrinkles of a previous smile now long disappeared, the bags under his eyes a little more noticeable as replacement. His expression held grim as he witnessed the ocean below, faltering almost fragile as he removed his ODM gear and uniform. 

Levi came to realize that he'd never truly repaired the rift between him and Eren.

The last time either of them ever really interacted was when Levi beat the shit out of him in the Church. They've never held a conversation, only acknowledging each other during missions with a nod, or if they were uncomfortably the only ones left in the cafeteria after breakfast.

The Captain always felt a slight pity for the kid; Levi never hated Eren, in fact... He related to him.

Their situations were painfully similar: they've both lost the people who they loved in their lives, left behind shattered and lonely.

It broke Levi's heart to see Eren then pick up a small wooden box, painted white with the words "Armin Arlert, 835—850, Our Hero" and flower designs. The box rattled as Eren moved, and Levi already knew that Armin's bones remained inside.

Levi once overhead Eren mentioning he had wanted to bury Armin here a long time ago. Armin was their family, and Levi knew well enough how much it hurt to lose someone that close to you... But Eren didn't cry. He seemed neutral, unaffected, maybe even too tired to even deal with their situation.

Mikasa took his free hand into her own seemingly having noticed this as well, the two placing their palms over the small painted box, silently saying their final goodbyes. Levi allowed them their moment of privacy, leaving Eren and Mikasa alone by the horses to tend to their business.

Now Erwin stood at the beach, his boots removed as he sunk his feet into the soft sand, marching onward as the Scouts followed behind.

The strange birds overhead squawked, flying beyond the Ocean till they couldn't be seen anymore. He dipped the tip of his toe against the waves that bit at the shoreline, pulling back as if threatening to swallow him whole and drag him under. He strangely didn't seem threatened by that, Erwin being the crazy bastard as he always is, and he pulled up his sleeves to continue curiously investigating.

Levi was stood a good distance behind him, still fully dressed in his gear and uniform, dusting off his boots to the sand that clung to them. He kept his close eye on Erwin, even if he has feigning his distraction, cautious of his movements. On the other hand, Hange gladly took off their boots along with Erwin the moment their excitement overloaded, trying their best to undress quickly without tripping themselves.

Annoyed (he spoke too soon on the screaming), Levi directed his attention elsewhere just for a moment, looking off to his right to see where the rest of his Squad had gone to, noticing four boys stood by the washed up rocks. Jean was busy trying to climb them, not really putting any effort in doing so, Marlowe and Connie just beside him seemingly unsure of what to do next. Floch was already at the top, simply sitting an enjoying the view.

"O-Oye..." Connie spoke up, turning to Marlowe and Jean, his own eyes watery but he still forced a smile. "You want to know the last joke I told Sasha...?"

Jean looked down from where he'd climbed, witnessing the slight fear of rejection in the shorter boy's eyes, a small nervous attempt at a smile on his face. Jean hopped down to face his comrade properly.

"What was it?"

"So... A Butcher is five feet tall, six inches. What does he weight?"

Jean stared at Connie for a while, his eyes widening at an instant in bewilderment the moment it dawned on him, everything all at once making sense in his head and it visibly showed. Connie began to painfully laugh, Marlowe chuckling at his side, the two falling into a giggling fit; none of them laughed because it was funny though... At least, not in the sense that most would think.

"Are you fucking serious?" Jean tried to hold back his snort, grappling Connie by his shoulders in a dying intensity, gently rocking his body with faux frustration, "that is literally the dumbest joke I've ever heard in my entire god damn life."

"It's not even mine!" Connie cried out, trying to null the obvious pain he was in with his anxious laughter, grinning back at Jean who just couldn't help it anymore, "her dad told me that one... Apparently he says it all the time as an ice breaker."

Jean gently smiled at that as he looked down at his boots, making a soft noise of amusement, moving his hands down to grab Connie by his arms. "She probably loved that..."

"Y-yeah..." Connie mumbled sheepishly, his bottom lip quivering, "I'm glad... I'm glad in her final moments, she was able to laugh. Even if it was dumb..."

"...I'm glad too."

Jean suddenly pulls Connie into a frim embrace, clutching at his back and squeezing as a reassurance, nearly knocking all the air out of the shorter boy. Connie wheezes, coughing and laughing at once with a nervous quiver, his eyes brimming with tears before eventually burying his face into Jean's shoulder, tightly hugging him back. He couldn't help the weak bubbling sob that escaped past his lips.

"... You know what she really would have loved, though...?" Jean then said as he eventually pulled back, resting his arms around Connie's, watching as the shorter boy's expression shifted curiously. It was then when Jean cheekily smirks back, and without a moment's notice, uses all his force to shove Connie right into the ocean. The boy yelps as he splashes aggressively into the sea, now the first person to enter the body of water since the Scouts have arrived. 

"...It'd be seeing your ass get kicked."

"Oh HELL no!" Connie spat the moment he submerged from the water, splashing and flailing all about frantically. He wiped the water from his eyes and smirked devilishly, suddenly grabbing Jean and pulling him into the ocean with along him, the two engaging in a water fight- trying their best not to drown each other as they playfully tackled and beat each other.

"C'mere, Jeanny boy!"

"Let me go, you Idiot! Stop calling me that!" Jean complained, getting his head dunked under the water as a result, Connie pushing his head down before quickly getting smacked in the face. Seconds later, Jean was pulled back up spitting in disgust in return, Connie laughing at him as he tried to blink out the water in his eyes. "Argh, why is it so salty?!"

Floch scoffs at them, calling the two 'so damn annoying' as he gets attempted splashed. Marlowe on the other hand was trying to prevent them from killing each other, calling out to the boys before inevitably being thrown into the ocean as well, Jean pulling him down with him, making as much noise as they possibly could— more of a disturbance in the former tranquility. Levi couldn't have wanted it any other way.

Following right after them was Hange, finally having undressed, and they ran into the water just past Erwin, deep enough to be just below their cuffed jeans. Shitty-Glasses cheered happily, throwing their arms up in the air victoriously.

"Look all at this! Look at it!" Hange excitedly beamed, splaying out their arms and looking back for Erwin and Levi to see, as if presenting the massive Ocean like one of their projects, "This is incredible!"

Erwin chuckles, his smile still prominent in his features, diamond blue eyes still glittering just as much as the ocean. He looks down at his feet, taking a careful step into the water without any further hesitation. He seemed so proud of himself, even with the veil of age, he still seemed so young. Just like how it used to be, back in the early days of the Survey Corps.

It's amazing how far they've gotten... How could they be the only Veterans who had survived?

"Hey, you two shit-heads, be careful. I don't want to have to save you from drowning or some shit." Levi warned, his anxiety was prominent just by the look on his face even if he tried to deadpan it, stepping back as Hange and Erwin stepped forward. Levi wasn't exactly scared of the ocean, but it never hurt to be careful. 

"Levi, come join us," Erwin purred, his hair flowing like golden threads with the beach's breeze, beckoning Levi over with the gesture of his hand— reaching out as if demanding to be held. "it feels... Really nice. You'd like it."

Levi scoffed.

"No thank you," he said with repulse, making a bitter face that Erwin already knew was really just to be a dramatic brat. Levi really didn't have any interest in joining them in all honesty, it was already as messy at it was, and he still hasn't deemed the ocean to be safe himself yet. "You two can go be children on your own."

"Awh, sounds about right. What more can you expect from such a boring old man?" Hange teased, and they bent down to splash at Erwin, pushing the water to narrowly hit the Commander's legs.

Erwin squeaked at the sudden coldness against his body, and out of pure instinct he kicked at the water right back at them, giving them a taste of their own medicine. "Hey, that was foul play!"

"Life isn't fair, baby!" Hange said beaming with laughter, Erwin mirroring along with them. They wiped their eye from below their goggles the moment they cooled down, looking off into the distance and placing their hands on their hips contemplatively. "Do you think it's all really made up of salt, Erwin?" 

Erwin squinted his eyes, silently challenging the mad scientist. "Who knows, why, do you want to drink it?"

Hange turned their head around to face him so fast it looked like it nearly gave them whiplash, seeming to genuinely contemplate taking the offer.

"Maybe...?"

"Four-eyes, you better not. It could be full of fish piss." Levi then said, killing all of Hange's competitive spirit and drive in a matter of twelve words. Very quickly was that disappointment replaced with more wonder, Hange having discovered something in the matter of seconds after Levi's words.

"Ah! What is this thing?" Hange suddenly cooed, and immediately Levi cringed, watching as they pick up this— what the fuck is that? It's some weird lump creature thing, and Hange is actually playing with it. The Deputy quickly raises their arms in the air, calling to the attention of Marlowe by yelling his name.

"Deputy Hange! Why are you touching that?!" Marlowe called out from where he was, asking the same logical questions Levi had in his head.

He was now by the rocks placed on the edge of the bay, using them effectively to dry off his wet clothes, to Floch's dismay. Jean and Connie had tired themselves out as well, sitting by the shoreline in their soaking wet clothes. And much like Hange would, they scurried off, holding whatever those things where in their hands as they brought them to Marlowe.

This left Levi alone with Erwin. Once again, just the two of them. Erwin huffed and finally walked out of the water, the sand now sticking to his legs as he marched up to Levi, fully intending to bring him in.

"Come on, Levi," Erwin pouted. That damn pout, Levi hated it when he did that. Erwin would pull that card more often than people realize, and like the stupid puppy he was, only did it to Levi just to bother him.

Who ever said Commander Erwin Smith was ever a mature, grown-ass, adult? Levi is tortured by this everyday. Nobody believes him.

"Please?"

"Why?"

"Because...?"

Somehow, Levi was convinced. 

It was cold, but a comforting kind- like sleeping on the cool side of a pillow, pooling at his ankles as it swooshed: threatening to drag him in if he's not too careful.

He glanced back at Erwin, seeking for the warmth in his gaze that Erwin was always just willing to keep giving back to him. Levi could just bathe away his sorrows, washing it off into the endlessness of water, scraping his skin of the sins he's endured.

This moment, right here, is what made Levi's choice worth it. Being able to stand amongst the sun, a new feeling of freedom surged through his veins. Just being able to stand with the comrades hes trusted his entire life to, witnessing something that felt like the beginnings of a new chapter, was just so... Liberating.

Maybe Levi could survive, continuing on forward with Erwin along side him. Levi had the slightest hopes that maybe one day he'd allow himself to be happy.

Erwin stands beside him, crossing his arms as he looks around thoughtfully. "Look around you... Can you believe it?"

Levi huffs, an attempt at a laugh. "Not really... I thought by now I'd be dead in the Underground with rats picking at my rotting corpse. The last thing I expected when meeting you was for us to be alive for this long."

"Well... I certainly thought about something like this, but my imagination really is nothing in comparison," Erwin admitted, "I always had the feeling there was an outside world, and that one day I'd see it. I just never guessed that it'd be this enthralling."

"I don't think anybody really expected something like this," Levi uttered, somewhat lying, only thinking up one person who did— shoving it back into his throat before he could mention him, "but you and your hunches... You can't seem to get anything wrong, can you?"

Erwin's expression changed right after that, his smile slowly fading, that glimmer in his eyes Levi had always admired beginning to die away. Levi couldn't help but wonder if he said anything wrong. There's a pregnant pause, allowing for two waves to crash against the bay, before Erwin would speak again.

"Levi... What do you really think when you see the Ocean?" He asks. It was quickly beginning to feel more like an interrogation, an 'Erwin' type question only used to make the other person think.

Levi could feel the mood change rather drastically, seeming to threaten the salvageability of their moment, whatever blooming feeling Levi had inside expired faster than it had come.

The Captain turned away from him, looking off into the vastness of it to think about his answer, that uncanny feeling in his gut returning— unsurprisingly. Being comfortable was a delusion.

"Unease. I'm not exactly sure how to embrace this." Levi answered plainly, "and I don't know why I'm feeling like this... Why ask?"

He could hear Erwin step closer to him, now standing beside the Captain, the water just barely high enough to graze the cuffs of their rolled-up pants. 

"I see," Erwin mumbled, rubbing at his chin in a seemingly mindless action.

Levi noticed that Erwin only acts mindlessly when he was trying to better pick his words, make them more appealing to the person he's speaking to, not entirely being honest much like a con-man. Levi never expected to be on the receiving end of that. He always thought that they'd be honest with each other about everything, but... Something had definitely changed. This wasn't even the first time...

"Levi..." Erwin then abruptly continued, hushed in a whisper, a tone Levi was only accustomed to in private settings, "from now on forward, things are only going to get harder for us. We've tapped into territory we were never meant to see."

Levi looked towards him, scrunching his brows slightly, unsure exactly where this was going. "No shit. We just discovered there is more humanity beyond the walls. I'm sure there's something more going on."

The Commander nods, those blue eyes squinted and lips taut, "I'm not sure if what I'm going to ask you is... Maybe asking too much of you."

Erwin suddenly turns, glaring at Levi with an intensity reserved only for the battlefield, completely out of place, "I just need to know, that no matter what happens next, you'll be by my side. I want you to be the one I go forward with, because I trust you... Even if I were to become the worst person in the world."

"Huh?" That was probably the dumbest request he's ever heard, and not for what it was, but the fact Erwin would even ask in the first place. The answer was obvious enough already. Levi must have made a face, because Erwin immediately reacted— raising his hands as a way of dismissal.

"Oh— I'm sorry, I know that was a strange thing to ask of you," Erwin stumbled along his words, which only made Levi narrow his eyes. The Captain moved around Erwin, closer towards the bay, and the Commander following his movements. 

"Erwin, I did not go through hell back back for you, time and time again, just to leave you in the dust if things were to go wrong," Levi retorted, adjusting his rolled up sleeves in an attempt to seem annoyed, when really he was smitten. He'll never admit that, though. Erwin froze in his tracks, his expression falling gentler. "So of course I'll follow you, now quit spouting bullshit."

Erwin exhales as his body relaxes. Was that all he really needed to say? Levi couldn't help but feel utterly suspicious of that, but he decided ultimately to trust him, because Erwin was the only person he truly could.

Looking down, he noticed a strangely shaped rock grazing past his leg, and much like Hange's curiosity he decided to pick it up himself.

It was shaped like a spiral, spikes poking out from the edges, hollow on the inside with orange stripes painted on the edges. It was too perfect to be something natural, yet something about it didn't seem man-made. Levi showed it off to Erwin, cupping it between his palms as a prized delicacy. Erwin takes it, examining it carefully with an excited hum before giving it back.

"A Seashell," Erwin concludes, and Levi feels like an idiot not deducting that himself. "They're made out of sand and other minerals, and sometimes tiny crabs live in them."

"Crabs?" What in the hell. How many more animals exist out there? "Did you get all that from Bertholdt's memories?"

"Somewhat; my knowledge is mostly from Doctor Jaeger's books," Erwin says, "there's so much out there to be explored, I really want to know what a Dog is. I hope one day, I get to see it all."

Levi looked down at his hands, admiring the seashell with squinted eyes. 

"Maybe you will."

That's about when Eren and Mikasa arrive towards the beach, like a red flag hoisted in the air, everyone turns their heads to their attention. Eren was still holding that white box, his legs dragging along the sand as he reaches the edge of the ocean, kneeling just right where the waves embrace the land— uncaring whether he were to wet his clothes or not. 

Jean taps Connie for his attention, pulling him by the arm as the two jog over towards the Gloomy girl.

She was burying her face into her red scarf, only showing her eyes, puffy and red as if she'd just stopped crying. Jean takes her trembling hand, Connie following suit with an awkward pat on the back at an attempt to console. She doesn't yank away, allowing them to comfort her, all three of them keeping their focus on Eren more than anything.

"Hey... Are we doing it right now?" Jean asks after a heartbeat, hardly even audible but Mikasa picks up on it, hiding underneath her scarf. Levi always knew she was a gloomy girl, but he's never seen her this depressed before, even more distraught than she was when Armin and Sasha had first died...

It was a lingering pain, reveling inside of her and at her breaking point. It was always the worst having to come to terms, and it seemed like Eren came to them sooner than her. She wasn't ready to let go yet.

"If you want to say your goodbyes... Now is the last time," she whispers, "Eren is letting him go now."

The three crouch down around Eren. Words of condolences were exchanged, but Eren doesn't even make a noise, only absorbing it until they all finish.

Once it was over, Eren holds the box between both of his palms, closing his eyes and muttering his own few last words before kissing the name painted on, his body shivering as he departs. He carefully lets the water swallow the box whole as he lowers his hands, the sea enveloping around and snatching it from Eren's grasp, pulling it away into it's dark and infinite depths. It's never seen again, Levi couldn't even follow where it traveled, now permanently apart of the sea.

"That's... That's really it, huh." Jean mumbled. Mikasa eventually let go from his grasp, the first one to her feet as she makes way to aid Eren to his. 

"Why didn't you bury him?" Connie asked, looking at the other boy with confusion, sounding more like he was trying to keep something at bay. "We could have buried him with Sasha... Why didn't you...?"

"Whether I have the bones or the body, it wouldn't have mattered. The person I once knew is gone," Eren said simply, allowing Mikasa to hoist him up to his feet, water dripping down from his clothes. "Besides, Armin dreamed of this. I'm only letting him rest in the one place he's always wanted to be."

Levi can't see his face, but he could tell Eren was now an empty husk of the energetic, lively, and vengeful boy he once knew— now a broken kid, forced to face the harsh realities of this shitty world.

Eren is the same as him, he always has been. 

Levi knows what it's like to be in this much pain. His mother, Isabel, Farlan, Petra, Eld, Oluo, Gunther, and Uncle Kenny... Those aren't even close compared to amount to all the deaths that has happened in the grand scheme of everything, and yet, they still make such a lasting imprint. There was no "getting over it", and Levi had to learn the hard way. 

Levi only hoped that one day, maybe Eren would be better than him, but all that good will melted away the moment Eren pointed towards the sea.

"Armin once thought that maybe beyond the ocean we'd finally find freedom, and I believed him, as the naive children we were... Turns out, we were both wrong." Eren continues, his tone quivering as a breeze passes by. Connie tenses at those words, opening his mouth as if he were going to counter it, but Eren continues nonetheless, "All that we'll find out there is the enemy. Nothing here is anything I haven't seen before, it's just like my father's memories."

Eren takes a step forward, his movements still slow, dragging himself along as if he were a puppet. Mikasa doesn't follow after him, her grieving now amplified. Something in that stare resonated within Levi, as if...

"Do you think that if I killed every enemy out there... That maybe it'd make up for his death?" Eren mumbled, that spark of vengeance everyone was so used to coming back, but in the form of hesitancy, "that it'd make up for every Eldian who's died to their hands? Would that finally give us freedom then?"

He looks back at the group behind him, his eyes scanning along Mikasa, Connie, and Jean, as if in search of a meaningful answer. Anything to prove him wrong, just to counter whatever blabbering bullshit he'd just spouted. None of them gave him one, and his eyes switched towards Levi's direction for a millisecond— but he wasn't looking at Levi. Eren was looking behind him.

His expression was clear, stern and accepting, but for mysterious reasons Levi couldn't decipher. Levi looked back to Erwin, and he never expected to find the same look on his face. They both agreed to something that Levi clearly wasn't in the know about.

Levi holds his hands close to his chest, the seashell still in his hands, cold and numb. Unease creeping in as his fragile heart beats, wondering if Erwin just might handle with care.

Four years later, Levi never expected to find his answer mid-way in the middle of an attack, his chest burning as the realization hits him all at once.

This is what their expressions meant. This is what Erwin and Eren knew, those damn shitty looks of resignation confirmed it. That fucking question made a lot of sense too. Levi wanted to vomit; they'd planned all this bloodshed from the very beginning, didn't they?

Liberio was burning, the screams of liberation amongst the Eldians below shouting in protest like the song of freedom in the night, the Survey Corps swinging past then as they left detonators behind. This wasn't a protest though, this was the reaction to a declaration of War against Paradis. 

Erwin had managed to reconstitute the old Restorationist Movement for the past three years, becoming the new Owl and renaming themselves the "Restoration Coup"; a movement intended to rile up all the Eldians trapped within Internment Zones. An attempt to peacefully demand freedom.

Marley didn't care, they shot down these attempts, and murdered hundreds of Eldians who spoke against the Marleyan Government in protest. In result, Eldian unrest surged, internment zones all over the country rising to fight against these attacks. Erwin's plan might've actually worked... But then Eren came into the picture, and Erwin only stood to his side, scheming this all.

Why? Why did Erwin throw all of his efforts away?! 

The Plaza was destroyed, currently taken by Eren as his Attack Titan rampages the city, causing as much destruction as he possibly can. The Warhammer had just appeared moments ago, and luckily Mikasa had managed to neutralize it, but they still haven't managed to find the host as far as Levi could tell.

So far things weren't going to plan, by unfortunate circumstance. He swung through the air, clinging to his swords as he zipped through the burning buildings of Liberio, his heart pounding as he awaited his cue. He was supposed to collect Zeke, but the bastard hadn't transformed yet, leaving him waiting and rendered useless.

His pocket watch was ticking against his hip, feeling the seconds as he stands on a simple pillar above the fight in the Plaza, awaiting for any threats. That familiar stench of steam, blood, and corpses assaulted his senses. Levi hasn't been in the action scene in nearly four years, there hasn't been any enemies to kill since then, but that smell... It brings him back to the darkest depths of his mind.

Eren was on a near by building, having peeled himself out from his previous transformation when the Warhammer tore off his head. He left Mikasa to try and destroy the Warhammer with thunderspears, but the attempt was meaningless, the Warhammer never backing down and reconstituting after every explosion against it's nape: swinging it's hardened sword at Mikasa as it crashes into its surroundings.

Eren for a moment looks back at Levi, his gaze flat and unemotional, mirroring the Captain. His hair was a lot longer now, bunched around his shoulders and sporting faint facial hair, titan marks etched into his face from his cheeks, sporting the same new ODM gear as every other Scout.

This interaction meant nothing, just an empty acknowledging nod before he launches himself off the building, biting into his hand to transform once again in a flash of bright lightning.

The Attack Titan digs his paw right into the earth, pulling out a crystal with a long white flesh-like cable as if it were some hunting prize, yanking off the connection and immediately after the Warhammer Titan crashed to the ground— her titan going dead. Levi could feel the hairs on his neck rise, and he stood to attention, a sensation of energy striking as he notices a new titan transforms.

The titan— The Jaw Titan— leaps and clings onto Eren's back without further warning, digging it's claws into Eren's back as it's jaw unhinges wide, fully intending to bite the nape leaving Levi to rescue Eren's ass once again. Yelena was supposed to take care of that... Why the fuck was he here?

Levi quickly calculates the best course of action, already leaping off the pillar and clinging his cables to the Jaw Titan's back, swords drawn tightly in his fists as he notices the slight exposure of skin right where the lower jaw connects to his skull-like face. He sweeps right through, slicing through that narrow piece of meat and successfully immobilizing his capabilities to bite down.

He lands against the ground, skidding around before shooting his cables again, soaring above the two. Eren takes the chance to crush The Jaw Titan behind him, crashing him against the building before grabbing it by it's hair.

Like a scared cat, it scurries away once after clawing the shit out of Eren in a futile form of defense, clinging to the buildings as it tries to run. Luckily, Mikasa still had thunderspears left, firing off her own against the Jaw's paw just before it could flee to safety.

It crashes against the ground, shakily trying to get back to its feet before cowering in a corner, unable to escape Levi and the rest of his Squadron making their way to fully amputate his limbs.

They all swung in, soaring like the little devils they were— that was until the bullets started firing. Levi could feel them whip just past his throat and leg, causing him to jankily avoid the bullets without causing any damage to himself— watching as two of his comrades fall to the ground with a burst of blood, dead by lethal shots.

Somewhere around him, Jean is shouting commands, demanding for them to retreat before disappearing. He better not be dead. Levi growls to himself, quickly noticing the Cart Titan— the bastard who aided The Beast's escape all those years ago— was now dappered all up in machine-gun gear, firing at his soldiers and picking at them one by one.

Levi lands himself, hiding behind the rubble of destroyed buildings as it continues to shoot, awaiting for the gunfire to cease as he quickly takes the chance to check his blades— still good. He was still pretty full on gas too. The Captain takes the chance to poke out from his safe spot, hopping to the top of the crumbled wall as other soldiers followed suit with him.

In that moment, The Warhammer reappears— half transforming as it pierces through Eren's titan once again, just barely striking through his nape; luckily Eren was smart enough to block it with his hardened skin. With Jean now MIA, Levi needed to call the shots. 

Perfectly on cue, the familiar thumping foot steps echoed behind him, sludge-like movements to follow as The Beast Titan makes his way to the Plaza. Levi tenses, memories flooding back. The final charge... The failure to kill him right when he had the chance... All those soldiers who'd died to get them here...

It saunters off to where the Jaw and Cart titan were now keeping base, speaking simply as if he had just woken up from a nap, yet still his characteristic cockiness remained. "Let none escape, kill them all."

Levi could feel nothing but red hot rage, his blades rattling with the force of his grip, and he pulls them swiftly to his side: shouting a complete counter to The Beast's words towards his comrades.

"Don't die on me, survive!"

With that, Levi launches off, attaching one of his cables to the Beast— who was now barreling towards him. He manages to sweep around, blades just barely grazing past the Beast's fur before being blasted at once again, being forced to maneuver around to avoid getting shot.

He uses The Beast's large size to his advantage, blending in amongst the other Scouts as he escapes, finding himself clattering against the ground as he finds safety in a dark alley way— surprisingly untouched. He was perfectly hidden by the dust and the steam- tactically in the best conditions he could ever be in right now, panting heavily as the titan blood on his blades and his clothes begins to steam.

He could feel his whole body ache, beginning to tremble with rage as he watches his enemy carefully, the grip on his swords tightening. The Cart Titan was adamant about protecting The Beast's rear, meaning Levi wouldn't be able to reach his nape for the time being. 

For now, he'll just have to endure The Beast throwing boulders for a bit longer. Nothing he hasn't dealt with before, the protesting screams of Eldians on the other side were loud enough to block out any memories of their familiar position. He pulls out his pocket watch for the time being.

The seconds were still a bit off considering the unfavorable miscalculations, but they weren't far gone enough to have too much of a delay. He couldn't see what exactly was happening on the battle field, but he could only assume Eren had gotten free some how, considering what The Beast says next.

"Eren Jaeger... Is not my Enemy." The Beast booms, loud enough to make sure Levi was listening, "Someone else comes first. Show yourself, Levi. You're running out of time."

It seemed like The Beast was reminding him, also extremely conscious of their delay, and using it as a way of mockery. Levi already knew he was going to chew him out the moment he got the chance: this was his fault after all.

That's when a bolt of lightning fired off in the far distance, a massive explosion following after it as it absorbs the city surrounding it in a devastating yellow light, the vague shape of a titan forming amongst the destruction.

The Colossal Titan had just transformed by Marley's main pier, destroying all of their ships and any transits capable of reaching Paradis, just as planned.

"Erwin..." Levi felt the name ghost off his tongue, vaguely tasting the remains of their last encounter, watching the pure horror of destruction. Right on time.

Levi heaved in one last breath and grit his teeth, got into position, and fired off his grappling hooks. This was the only chance he had while everyone was distracted. The hooks latched themselves against the Beast's back, and he leaped through the steam revealing himself, blades glowing orange from Erwin's transformation with Wings of Freedom flowing on his back.

The most bloody and guttural scream ripped from Levi's throat, raw with every emotion he's ever felt through out his whole life. All of his pain transformed into a single gut wrenching cry, violent and exuding power. He roared so loud his lungs hurt, his body trembling with energy, one wide-eyed and alert.

He doesn't even give Zeke the chance to retaliate, or even pretend to. This bastard has to be the reason why Erwin and Eren changed their minds... He had Royal Blood, right? He could have manipulated them... This... This couldn't be their doing.

Levi swung himself through and managed to get low enough to cut through one of the Beast's Achilles' tendon, the blades slicing through skin as smoothly as it would butter, and the Beast fell to it's knee with a heavy thud resonating through Liberio. Then Levi maneuvered to the other leg as best as he could- the flesh around the heel- managing to amputate it right off with a simple spin.

He then shot his cables onto a nearby column left behind by the Warhammer, clambering higher up to gain a better aim, getting cocky as he jumps off a branch to cut into the bastard's eyes dragging down to his jaw- somehow succeeding in blinding the Beast in both eyes before he was forced to retreat to avoid getting crushed; the Beast's bloody jaw unhinged and open.

With a shrill shout in true fear, the Beast swung one of his arms in Levi's direction like he would a pesky fly as he collapsed against the rubble on the ground with a resonating thud. Levi doesn't hesitate as he cuts into the nape, growling as he slices with a spin, landing himself onto the Beast Titan's head.

Levi is then face-to-face with two children and an old man, watching him in horror as he pulls out a detonator from underneath his cape.

Levi stared into the eyes of innocence, and spat right into it's face, pulling the pin and dropping the grenade. He grabs Zeke from his Titan form and zipped the hell out of there, the grenade exploding effectively making chunks of flesh and a spatter of blood to spring into the air on impact. 

Using the explosion to his advantage, Levi pulls out his guns clung to his hips, Zeke dangling from underneath his arm as he swings into hiding. Zeke didn't have any limbs, so he was practically fully relying on Levi to collect him safely.

Levi could feel his shallow breathing against his arm, and he quickly realizes just how easy it would be to kill him. Right here. Maybe everything would end... He decided against it inevitably, using his grapple to soar through the flames of Liberio, just above the rioting crowds below, grappling to the air ship awaiting for him to arrive from above.

As he pulls themselves up, Levi witnesses the span of their destruction by a bird's eye-view. Erwin's transformation left a red glowing hue behind, his titan now decomposing amongst it's own wreckage. The Cart titan was being lit up, Levi could make out four or five different Scouts shooting their thunderspears at the titan, not even giving it a chance as it burns alive.

Eren was still busy trying to devour the Warhammer, the Attack Titan clashing it's teeth against the crystal only to shatter it's jaw. The Jaw Titan was still attempting to attack him, but Eren seemed to have it under-control enough, nothing to worry Levi over.

"War... It's such a horrible thing..." Zeke mumbled against his arm. For once, Levi can agree with the enemy.

He finally manages to make it to the open entrance, clinging to the net. Zeke is now being held by his collar, much to his dismay— dangling like a piece of meat on a fishing line: helpless. As Levi looks up, he's greeted by a familiar face, reaching out their arm to aid him into the air ship. Their goggles' glare hid any expression they may have had, but Levi could practically feel their animosity when he grabbed their arm. 

Hange hadn't changed much in the past four years, but they've certainly have gotten a lot more tired as they went by.

The moment Levi stepped foot into the Air ship, he throws Zeke's body right against it's wall, much like if he were a potato sack. Levi doesn't even care, finding satisfaction in the pained grunt he receives in return; Zeke simply laying there defeated— almost seeming embarrassed to be caught in such a compromising situation.

"Urgh... Things never change... Huh, Levi?"

Levi wanted to beat the ever-loving shit out of him, maybe even tear out his jugular and feed it right back to him, or leave him dangling on the side of the Airship on the rest of the trip back to Paradis.

"Levi," Hange urges, placing their hand on the shorter man's shoulder before he could do anything brash, but it never made any of his anger dissipate. "There's no point."

The Captain continued his glare, narrowing his deadly gaze onto the stupid bearded bastard before turning his attention towards Hange.

"Where is Erwin?" He asks, no longer out of love. 

"He's in the cockpit with Onyankopon and Marlowe," Hange said, their glare now a lot more recognizable in this lighting. They seemed hardened, as if they wanted to speak their mind but was unable to, "I left him there when I went to go get you, so he'll be back here when I return."

Levi tsked, looking down at his bloodied boots and hands, feeling so disgusted with himself. Before Hange could leave without another word, Levi grabbed them by the wrist. 

"Hey, wait," Levi growled, and then turned to face him. Just by the glare, he immediately grew soft, his voice tender to address them, "how are you feeling?"

Hange took a moment to look around, their singular eye darting around the Airship as if they wanted to avoid this question. "How are you feeling?" They countered, and that was an answer enough, and he let go to allow them to continue their duties.

He found himself now sitting on the bench, Zeke slumped over in a corner just a few feet away from him, the stench of his healing steam seemed to stink up the whole room— luckily the open entry-way was good enough ventilation. Didn't help Levi was right next to it.

Levi didn't even know what he wanted to say. He knows he should be angry, but towards who?! Did he even have the heart to pin this all on Erwin? What if this really was all Zeke's doing? He couldn't just scrape by the fact he had Royal Blood... He could be using Eren's Founder against his will, causing all this irrational behavior... God, being left in the dark for this long...

He was the last person he'd thought Erwin would be treating like this.

That's when the metal door leading to the cockpit opened, breaking Levi's rampant thoughts, the creaking loud enough to even get Zeke's attention. Erwin stepped through, his expression plain, wearing his typical Commander-facade. 

Erwin had diluted into a mess; he was unkempt, his hair grown out long enough that he no longer had an undercut— silver streaking through in strands to cut through his usual golden blonde. He didn't shave either, a faint dark scruff growing along his face. It wasn't a bad look, but it was a clear indication on how far gone he was, not even attempting to groom himself anymore.

The titan markings on his face were already beginning to heal, only seeming like more wrinkles to make him appear a lot older than he actually was. His body was hidden underneath his old Survey Corps cape, matching Levi's own appearance. 'Don't fix what isn't broken' Levi would say. Seems like it stuck.

Behind him, was a tall woman, sporting a fake peel-off beard and a Marleyan soldier's uniform. Her name was Yelena, a traitorous Marleyan soldier who'd happened to be a follower of Zeke. She was supposed to help neutralize the Cart and Jaw titan, but failed miserably. Levi never liked her anyways, anybody who's willing to kiss the ass of Zeke of all people was no friend of his.

"Yelena, put him in the storage room," Erwin ordered, and the soldier obliged, smirking as she picked up Zeke by his uniform. Zeke lets out a hum, and Levi can't decide whether he was being a nuisance or begging for his life in the most inconspicuous way. Levi found it to be the same thing when it came to him, though.

"Are you ever going to take that thing off?" Levi grumbled with annoyance, looking up at the tall lethe woman, specifically addressing the ridiculous fake beard. He was really tempted to scold her right there, for not being more careful when imprisoning the Cart and Jaws titan, but there were more pressing issues to tend to. Erwin looked as if he understood that.

Yelena huffed, peeling at her face. "What? Some people liked it, y'know."

With that, she disappears the same way she entered, walking past Erwin and gifting him a small smile— before slamming the metal door behind herself.

The Captain doesn't move from his seat, not daring to look at Erwin for too long other than a couple glances, busier watching the blood on his hands steam away. He can hear Erwin walk closer to him, clunking with boots and metal pieces to their new maneuver gear.

"Captain Levi," He addresses, already awkward way to make small talk, "I see you were successful in claiming Zeke."

Rage bubbled inside Levi once more, his stomach acting like an acidic cauldron. He wanted to kill Erwin so bad, not having felt this form of hatred towards him after so many years, that same feeling resurging like it had when Farlan and Isabel had died. This fucking bastard...

"So, is this some kind of sick game to you, Erwin?" Levi said dryly, "we had so much hope, and I believed in you. I thought that maybe we could get this done without having to kill another person ever again... But this?"

Erwin doesn't respond.  
Levi couldn't help but snort, not in amusement as much as it was more like a scoff. "Usually I'm used to these gambles you make... But this is the first time I've ever seen you throw away a good plan."

Erwin is now standing directly infront of Levi, a looming tower of doom, the shadows working against Levi's favor— he couldn't read his face. Levi decides to look away instead. Unfortunately for him though, Erwin placed his hand underneath his chin, gently beckoning the Captain to look up. It's as if he were trying to make amends, but in the shittiest way imaginable.

Levi forcefully shoved his hand away.

"And for you to... To treat me like you..." He couldn't finish the words, all too bitter and distant, "... Was this all in your plan all those years ago?" Levi raised his voice, "it was just that convenient for you, huh? Keeping me tethered to you because I'm an Ackerman?"

"Levi, please," Erwin retorted, dismissing Levi's words with a wave of a hand, "not this right now."

"I can't believe you." Levi snarls, standing up to his feet with a violent jolt, pointing towards the door where Zeke and Yelena has left. "Tell me right now that this isn't your doing. Tell me that Zeke is the one who's making you do this. I know he has royal blood, I know he can manipulate the Founder. Just tell me, and I'll kill him."

Erwin walks away, embracing the back of his neck with one hand, sighing in defeat.

"All those years ago, you promised me," he grumbled, "that no matter what happens next, you'd be by my side. Even if I were to become the worst person in the world."

Levi felt his blood circulation cut at every vein and artery, going numb and cold all at once, sickly and corpse-like.

"So this was all you?"

Erwin looks down, removing his hand from his nape, not making any effort to confirm. Much to Levi's own surprise, he no longer feels the urge to kill all the problems in his life. He could never hate Erwin for too long... Fuck, and he really wanted to. He just has it weak over this man, and Erwin fucking knows it.

"So why this?" Levi uttered, his breathing now shuddering and frail, "why did you do this?"

"We had no other choice, Eren had made himself a hostage and we had to act accordingly to that," Erwin said simply, like a script recital, as if he actually believed that bullshit. 

"Liar," Levi snapped, stepping closer threateningly, but Erwin never flinched. "You have had this in your back-pocket for five years without telling me. You and Eren have been conspiring this since the moment you came back from Shiganshina. Now tell me the fucking truth."

Erwin looks past him, that glimmer that once remained in his eyes was long gone. No ocean, no dreams of freedom, not even hope. Levi could hardly recognize him now, he's... He's become exactly what he'd once feared.

"Eren is about to eat the Warhammer Titan," Erwin interrupted with a breath, jerking his chin towards the open entrance, and Levi turns instinctively to follow his line of sight.

It surely was a sight difficult to explain to those who weren't there to witness it. Eren had used the Jaw Titan to crack open the Warhammer's crystal, holding her between its teeth and using force to clamp them together, crackling before inevitably shattering. The blood drained out and poured into Eren's throat as if it were a fine wine, his jugular moving as he fully devours the remains.

The Attack Titan had no hesitation when he then began bashing the Jaw's head against the ground, gripping it by it's hair and swinging it around as if this was some kind of fucking toy. Eren only stopped when he deemed it was finally unconscious.

The battle in the Plaza was halted to a screeching stop, the protests marching along it's borders, setting fire to all in it's path.

Without a second to process, the shouting of repenting Eldians now surrounding the entire Plaza, praising Eren and beginning to set fire to the entire area around him.

The Attack Titan pulls up the Jaw Titan away from the flames licking at his feet. He proceeds to then sink his teeth into the Titan's nape, biting into him and tearing off its flesh to reveal the unconscious man underneath.

Eren doesn't eat him, though. Instead, he slips out from his Titan, peeling from the flesh that was tethered to him, and grabbed the Warrior himself—yelling something back at Mikasa who was positioned on his Titan's shoulder, lugging the Jaw's inheritor underneath his arm. 

Mikasa took the order with a nod, and the two aim their maneuver grapples in the direction towards the Airship, the rest of the Survey Corps following suit in their retreat; leaving Liberio behind in a pile of burning ash. One by one, the Scouts returned, hopping on to the Airship with victorious cheers.

Jean was the first one to arrive— not dead, as Levi had once feared, Connie just behind him. He was wounded though, limping as he managed to collapse onto the bench nearest to him. Blood trickled down his leg from the bullet hole left into his upper thigh; he was lucky not to have his entire leg blown off.

"Pfft I'm fine," Jean slurred, the shorter boy hoisting his body up so he could sit right. "I just lost a little blood, that's all. Kinda dizzy."

Jean's eyes roll lazily to the back of his head, his long ashy-brown hair covering over his face as he leans back against the wall, losing consciousness. In a juncture of panic, Connie slaps him crisp on the cheek, earning a gasp from the other in return.

"Hey, Hey, Hey— Jean, look at me," Connie frantically urged, eyes widened with terror.

He kneels just by Jean's side, keeping his hand tightly compressed against the bullet hole to keep pressure on the wound; blood soaking right through his fingers. Jean smiled right back at his friend, clasping his own hand over his to aid with the pressure. "WE NEED A MEDIC! PLEASE!"

Not a moment's discourse later, Marlowe was already out of the cockpit, holding two cases full of medical supplies by order of Hange— who was too busy working with Onyankopon to get back to Paradis as fast as they possibly could. Marlowe, for the kid who'd always sport a bowl-cut, finally grew out his hair.

Sure, it was a bob-cut now with bangs, but at least that was an upgrade.

"What happened?" Marlowe asked, opening up the case, handing Connie a tourniquet as he kept himself busy looking for bandages. 

"He got shot by one of the Cart Titan's machine guns when we were trying to dismantle it," Connie blabbered, looking up at Jean and silently alerting him of the pain that was to come, telling him to breath before roughly pulling on the tourniquet around his leg. Jean groans in return, but luckily some color was returning to his face. "He over exerted himself instead of retreating, and he's lost a lot of blood since."

"Maybe if he would have trusted Eren could have handled the job, this wouldn't have fucking happened," Floch then pipes up from behind the two— just having arrived with the new flood of Scouts, using a dirty rag to clean off the blood left on his hands. Connie raises his brow, his bottom lip quivering as his attention is now directed towards the redhead. 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Connie growled, nearly getting up to pop Floch a new one, but Marlowe stops him, placing a hand on his shoulder and ordering him to cut open the cloth on Jean's leg.

"Hey, Connie, focus," Marlowe ordered, pulling Connie's head right in the game, "He's going to make it to the island alive, okay? He'll survive long enough to make it to a hospital. I just need you focused."

Connie nods, continuing to busy his hands... But he still continues feeding into Floch's ego as well, his words never really reaching him in the way Connie intended, even if he uses a sour tone.

"Do you have any idea of how many of our comrades have died tonight?"

"But we won! This is a huge victory for our new Eldian Empire! Compared to our own losses, we decimated our enemies!" Floch raised his fist, shouting as the Scouts surrounding him cheered, screaming and crying in celebration. "Those who have died will not be in vain! Dedicate your Hearts!"

"Dedicate your hearts!"

Levi watched from his spot in the corner, finding himself cringing at the use of Erwin's slogan for the Scouts. Erwin standing right beside him didn't help either, the tension between them from their previous conversation still lingered. Levi wasn't done ripping one into him yet... He still needed answers.

Erwin still appeared blank-stared, only glaring on straight ahead, seemingly inattentive to the world around him— but hyper focused at the same time, glare pinned on the opening to the Airship. Then another two Scouts arrived, Eren and Mikasa, the two stumbling upon the entrance.

Eren still had the Jaw Titan's host in between his arm, carefully dropping him to better grapple him by his hair. That's when Erwin left Levi's side, the Scouts making way for the Commander as he reached the two. Eren seemed just as equally dead as Erwin did, and Mikasa's face was beginning to match, stone cold and emotionless as if they were committing a sleazy business deal.

"Commander Erwin," Eren uttered, and he raised up his arm, showing off the Jaw's inheritor— his limbs amputated much like Zeke's, steaming and unconscious, now a useless slab of meat. Erwin made no change in expression, turning away from the two.

"Your brother is in the next room," Erwin said, never facing Eren as he leads them through the parted crowd of Scouts. "Let's go, we have much to discuss."

This time Erwin glares at Levi, an invitation. The answer to everything. And much like always, Levi trusts him, and follows Eren and Mikasa along inside. 

**To be continued...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You made it to the end of Chapter 4! I hope you liked it lol, this chapter took forever, and I still think I have some mistakes.
> 
> The depiction of Erwin in this Fic is actually inspired by a fan art I saw, made by @mercyisnotacar on Instagram. The link to the fan art is here:  
> https://www.instagram.com/p/CFy-HIsJugf/?igshid=18qtg1n4zv9xm
> 
> As well as this gorgeous art made by @tkjn821 for the Zeke and Levi scene!: https://www.instagram.com/p/CKuX5TPhYoH/?igshid=1nk9baao9ywf2
> 
> Also, I just wanted to say thank you to all the people who leave Kudos & comments on my works! It genuinely makes me smile seeing them. :) 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! Thank you for reading!


	5. In the Name of My Own Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's perspective. How it all came to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful people! Welcome to Chapter 5!
> 
> There are a LOT of triggers this chapter, so please be mindful of: terrible mental health practices, racism, demonization, graphic descriptions of a mental breakdown, Pseudobulbar affect, canon-typical violence, abuse of power, and just a lot of really uncomfortable mindsets within a really messed up character.
> 
> The OST for this chapter is: Please, recommend in the comments below! I will add each song I get to this list! (I will also tag your username 😊)
> 
> Please, enjoy!

_"This letter is to be sent to The Survey Corps Regimen, and shall only be read by the members of the Special Operations Squadron, or those with rankings higher than a Squad Captain's position._

_Whatever you make of this letter afterward may very well be by your own choice, but preferably, Mikasa Ackerman of the S.O.S. should be the one to ultimately decide. This is just a sheet of paper, after all._

_Hello._

_I am well aware I have gone missing for many months, so I will get this out of the way first: I am in no imminent danger, currently as of the time I am writing this letter._

_I am safely residing inside at one of the many Eldian internment zones of Marley, but I will not disclose my exact location as I remain here. Please do not attempt to look for me again. I will do something irrational if I catch wind of any more attempts, but if you are willing to press your luck, by all means, go ahead._

_With that out of the way, I shall now address some of your possible queries. I am writing this letter not only as a way of making contact but also as a threat. I have managed to gain intelligence relating to the Declaration of War on Paradis Island. I know where and when that will happen, and I fully intend to retaliate when that time comes._

_As those who bore and raised me: you will know of my importance. Maybe not me as a human being, but my Coordinate and Titan. If I plan an attack on my own, I will put myself in immense jeopardy, risking my inherited powers to the mercy of the Marleyans. This will lead to their victory and leave us Eldians to nothing but waste._

_I am prepared to die for my cause if it comes down to it. I hold no hesitation to make my existence known, and to risk it all for my sake of freedom. It is up to you whether you decide you want to rescue your only chance at a victory. You decide whether you want your freedom, that, or die the as the skinless cowards you were always seen to be by the rest of the world._

_I expect your arrival in full preparation in a fortnight on the date you receive this letter. Liberio is hosting a play in their Main Plaza. The Tybur family, all of their Warriors, all high ranking officers, and generals of Marley's militia, as well as the Warhammer Titan, will all be there to witness the show. I will transform there once the Declaration is made._

_I hope to see you soon,_

_E. Jaeger_

_This final part of the letter is now directed to Mikasa Ackerman; this segment is for her eyes only. For the sake of privacy and courtesy, please deliver this section to her. Only her._

_I understand now._

_I know what you are to me, and I know how you perceive me. I want to make something abundantly clear: I hate you. I do not care how you perceive me. I know what your blood makes you do, and because of that, you are nothing but a slave. The real Mikasa Ackerman died a long time ago, back when we were kids, in that little hut in the mountains where her mommy and daddy bled to their deaths._

_You were never my sister. You were not even a friend. You are just an Ackerman, bound to your instincts, a sick product of an experiment that should have never happened. Maybe then, you would not have been born to have to suffer in the ways that they bred you._

_You impede on my freedom as much as I do to your own, and because of that, I never want to see you. I know I said it was your choice to do what you wanted with this letter, but I highly request that you burn it. Maybe use your instinct to give me some semblance of peace in mind._

_For the sake of my four remaining years, do not bother pursuing me beyond our duties as Soldiers."_

Eren laid down his quill with a quivering hand, leaning back in his creaky wooden chair, reviewing his work. The residual ink on the pen's tip dribbles onto the page, blotching out the last paragraph in a messy black splatter. All he does in return is sigh, stretching his back out against the stern of his chair.

It was a quiet night in Liberio, several days before the attack. The curfew hour had just hit; the last remaining stragglers finally reached their homesteads safely. The moon was sliced in half, hung over the sky as if the Earth was a baby's cradle, puffy clouds forming over the stars like a blanket, the chilling breeze singing them a lullaby.

Eren found himself dwelling at Liberio's Mental Facility for psychologically wounded soldiers— not because he required it or anything. He was only there due to circumstances lead by years of excessive preparation. It gave him safe refuge in plain sight within the enemy's province, and he has not raised any red flags since.

Eren had turned nineteen a few months ago, and yet, he appeared much older. His mane was now grown down to collar length, gauzes swathed around his absence of a left eye, tufts of a bristle beginning to grow upon his chin. He was bearing the customary Marleyan militia uniform for grounded Eldian soldiers; his armband gray to indicate he was wounded— if the loss of a leg and eye was not enough to tell.

He had somehow succeeded to break into one of the doctor's offices, finding complexity in maneuvering when he would have only one leg and an eye to work with; especially when he was under constant supervision, not by nurses as much as it was other patients of the mental facility.

They had this entire place manipulated and rigged to snitch on one another for alleged bad behavior, compensated whenever they did so, similar to good little pets as if the appraisal from their enemy would protect them from the hell they have suffered.

Since the place was governed by mostly Marleyans, and the patients were constructed of Eldians, it did not matter if it was unjustly or wrong. Just the accusation was sufficient to warrant a deadly beating.

Eren had witnessed it first-hand before; the man was old and hobbly, yet nimble and appeased, seemingly more coherent than a preponderance of the inmates who resided in the hospital.

He was strolling along with the courtyard one day, eating an apple and humming traditional war songs to himself, when abruptly two patrolmen approached him and accused him of robbing another patient's lunch. The accusor started squealing, bellowing over the loss of their meal, pointing at the old man and ordering him to die.

The man was then proceeded to be brutally apprehended, striking his head in with mallets till he was a bloody pulp on the ground. Eren has not seen him walk the courtyard since, and days later he discovers the man had 'committed suicide' when eavesdropping on chatter between his designated nurses...

Which wasn't the truth, even in the slightest.

The fact that they were all in a Mental Institution only gave more leverage to scapegoats such as suicide, giving Marlyeans exploiting their power full protection if they accidentally beat one of their patients to death— no matter how gruesome the sight may be.

It's just been Eren's main mission now to stay under the radar for as long as he can until he can subsequently put his plan into fruition.

Luckily enough, Eren had managed to wobble on by without raising any suspicions, using his crutch to smash the only lock on the office's door and whisk his way inside flawlessly without a single person to witness.

Inside the office remained a desk, several bookcases, and a table full of vials and syringes. Posters explaining Lobotomies, PTSD, and body donations drearily hung on the walls despite their bright colors and morbidly smiling caricatures of what an obedient Eldian should resemble. Even going as far as giving them pure titan-like grins.

Their seemingly happy, under-the-radar slogans such as "Popping a pill a day keeps bad thoughts away!" or "Want to protect our PRECIOUS Motherland? Consider donating your body to Titan Science today!" felt nothing more than sinister and patronizing. Eren was tempted to tear them off the walls and set the whole hospital ablaze.

The desk had a bronze name-tag situated at the edge, "Doctor R. Asuka," someone Eren has not met before but he assumes is a blithering asshole just by the pretentious decor. At least the good Doctor had an abundance of paper and ink to go around, almost about as much as the not-so-well hidden letters he kept inside his desk from several different maidens— probably inappropriate to have such risky content inside a hospital, but hell, what did Eren know?

Writing the letter was not any easier. He was left sitting at the desk, gawking down at his handwriting, emerald eye fixated on the last few paragraphs he had composed on a separate piece of paper— now covered in ink by his own reckless mistake.

The letter to Mikasa. . . Was no love letter. Eren maintained his glare, his eye feeling as if it will pop directly out of his skull at any moment, draining him out of his blood like a faucet.

He placed his fingertips to the spill, the tusche still wet, strangely cold— and yet it had the same texture as blood.

Eren could not help but reminisce on a conference he had about a month ago: the last time he was capable of making direct contact with Zeke and Commander Erwin. It was by Liberio's main dock, just a few hours before sundown, hidden within the shadows of an old abandoned warehouse now used to store defunct weaponry expecting to be recycled.

Nobody ever really investigated that place, so they were safe to discuss and depart whenever they pleased.

Eren was propped up against his lone crutch abiding by the backdoor of the warehouse, carefully observing as Erwin walks onto his line of sight, dressed in a casual suit only a wealthy Marleyan citizen would dapper up in. Not even an armband in sight.

His face remained stiff and making no efforts to recognize the Commander in a pleasant manner. Being friendly was already way above Eren's pay grade, and he was not even getting paid. This interaction did not warrant any niceties anyway, what they were about to do was not even close to joyous.

"Zeke is inside," Eren says, his mouth filled with the tang of copper, nudging his head behind himself, "Is Floch with you?"

"Yes, he's still on the ship with the rest of the R.C.," Erwin responds, just as brutally aloof as Eren anticipated of him, "they are only here to organize, waiting on my order to do so. You will not have any chance to greet them. Please, excuse me."

The Commander then removes his beige homburg hat and permits himself inside, pulling on the metal latch to open the backdoor, Eren stalking closely behind him. He understood what Erwin meant by what he said: telling Eren to go fuck himself, reminding him who was in charge.

Since the commencement of this plan, it's been a hostile atmosphere among the two. He and Erwin have been fighting over custody, without ever directly engaging each other. Erwin makes sure to keep his reigns on Eren by all means necessary, withholding all the control to prevent Eren from straying too far on his own.

However, Eren knew, inevitably he would get his way.

He and Erwin were not that diverse when it came to their aggressively tenacious mindsets. The only thing holding The Commander back is his lingering humanity. Soon enough, Eren knew that would eventually crumble away. It was only a matter of time. Eren already knows how this story will end.

Upon entering the warehouse, Eren was greeted with the redolence of cigar smoke and condensed humidity. It was remarkably dark inside despite the simple oil lantern on the linoleum, just beside his brother's boot by a few inches. Zeke was perched upon an old artillery crate, taking puffs of his cigar and spewing it from his lips, the source of that repugnant stench of smoke.

Zeke was a tall, blonde, and scruffy fellow. He was not older than Erwin by any means (who was approximately going to be forty by this October) and yet the two relatively appeared similar in age. It could be the excessive smoking, or the fact he looked increasingly comparable to their father, or hell, maybe acquiring a titan made them both age a lot more rapidly physically than they were supposed to. . . But it's not like it mattered.

Eren has only known his brother for a few years, and only recently has he been involved in Eren's life. If there is anything he has learned from his older brother, it's that he's a fucking fool, and nothing that comes out of his mouth is remotely trustworthy.

It seems like Zeke might be thinking the same way concerning him as well.

Zeke has a "Euthanasia" plan, meaning that he was going to take away all Eldian's capabilities of reproducing by way of the Founding Titan and his own Royal Blood, declaring that Eldians "no longer should feel the burden of being born." He's explained it plenty of times before as if it mattered, and Eren has never agreed to it, at least not verbally to fully confirm he was following Zeke.

It could be why Zeke lacks any dependence on his younger brother, amongst other plethoras of things. Eren was not exactly someone he could get along with, they have never bonded or had a conversation outside of their revolt against Marley, and it's not as if Eren even desired to. Nothing Zeke offers has any true merit to him; he's murdered a myriad of Scouts and played a part in ruining the life Eren once knew.

Erwin has also made it apparent that he did not agree with the Euthanasia plan either, right behind Zeke's back the moment they were left in privacy. Erwin was the one barricade between the reason why Zeke has not gotten his way to use Eren's Coordinate, much to his brother's dismay. They are only getting along for now just because they all have a shared goal: To determine their next step when Marley declares war.

Erwin's plan is the complete antithesis of whatever Zeke wanted. He aspires to liberate all Eldians, not neuter them. Eren would call him a fool as well with all his misguided takes on diplomacy, but something about the way he speaks prevents it. It reminds him too much . . . Of Armin.

Eren believed he had gotten past being enticed by those with wonderous scintillating hope in their eyes, but it seems like he's being falsely led into that noose all over again.

Erwin truly believes that maybe he could influence a whole race of brainwashed people to walk alongside him and fight against their captors with nothing but his compelling words, and in a sense, he had succeeded— but not for very long. Eldians are always quick to be shot down, no matter how numerous they were.

Besides, compared to the number of Eldians there were in internment zones, the volume of Restorationists Erwin's gathered is nothing but peas in comparison. In addition, the fact that they keep getting killed lowers their numbers. If Erwin truly thought he could abolish an entire Country's government as easily as he did Paradis' corrupt royalty, he better have some secret asspull Eren must not be informed of.

Which was highly unlikely.

Funnily enough, though, Eren had a plan himself, more effective than anything Zeke or Erwin have any knowledge of. They did not need to know about it yet, of course.

"Ah, Erwin Smith. Welcome back to Marley," Zeke greets, rousing up from his slouch, puffing smoke. Eren pockets his final thought, now taking his time to analyze every moment, "you smoke?"

Erwin tucks his hat underneath his arm, reaching into the inside of his suit blazer to pull out a small box of cigarettes, allowing for Zeke to take out his lighter and spark the cigarette for him. The cigarette box was moderately new, still glossy, and yet the interior was nearly empty— only three smokes remained. Erwin must be pretty stressed if he's willing to down so many in a day.

Eren was never fond of smoking, but it never fails to remind him of times when Uncle Hannes used to take smoke breaks on the job, and Eren as a child would perpetually get on his ass about it.

Sure, it was not a bitter memory anymore now that Hannes was dead, but the hatred for lung cancer still stood. Armin hated smoking a lot too, he would always scrunch up his nose just by the whiff of it, closing his eyes tightly and rubbing at his nose as if he were some rabbit. Man... What the hell would Armin think now?

"So, I only called for you two today because I have some important information," Zeke says, "relating to the attack on Paradis, and what our next step should be in the Euthanasia Plan."

"Yes, I received your letter," Erwin states, not addressing much, holding his cigarette between his index and middle fingers as he takes another inhale. He exhales as he speaks, smoke pluming through his teeth as fluidly as the words do from his mouth. Eren recollects reading the letter, briefly going over Marley's plan on using their Tybur family, and how the Marlyean Militia plans to use their influence to aid the declaration of war on Paradis.

Everyone is deemed to be there, in the internment zone of Liberio. The Tybur family, their Warhammer, every single high-ranking Marlyean officer, and the Warriors along with their candidates. That alone is a lot if one is not including the hundreds of trapped Eldians and people from all sorts of countries— all coming collectively in the same place to witness Willy Tybur's speech.

It seemed all too convenient for it to be planned out this way, notably with the handling of a heavy topic such as war.

It doesn't make any sense; were they making a gamble? It's like they intended for it to be a lure, made to entice Eren specifically.

Nonetheless, Erwin advances, "I already have the Restorationist Coup going to every Internment Zone on Marley, rallying up any Eldians who could be interested. If we keep up these protests, they might listen to us, particularly if we manage to infiltrate the Tybur's play."

"Sounds a bit optimistic, don't you think?" Zeke tests, pushing up his glasses with his middle finger from the bridge of his nose, "we have been brainwashed to believe, ever since the day we were born, that our blood is the reason why we deserve such shitty treatment."

Zeke looks down for a moment, seemingly reminiscing on a miserable memory judging by the downward twitch of his lips, the freehand on his lap gripping his knee. He took another drag, slower this time.

Eren could practically feel his brother's heart-pounding from where he stood. "It's going to take a lot of convincing to get them to follow you, I am surprised you even managed to get any at all at first. This is not like the Survey Corps. Do you think that all Eldians are that willing to die for our cause, even if it's for their benefit?"

"I do," Erwin asserts, far too hastily, cocky almost. It nearly sickens Eren. "They have been trapped here for so long reveling in their bitterness, they need someone to pull the trigger for them, and I am the one willing to commit to the job."

At least Erwin has a point there, being the new self-proclaimed 'Owl' from the previous Restorationist group. Erwin, considerably, was not any crueler than Kruger.

The Commander continues. "Hell, maybe if I pull a few strings, I could find a way to make the Tybur family our ally and thusly have the Warhammer Titan on our side. Nobody would have to die, we could rig the play to be coordinated for failure at the very start."

"You are delusional if you truly think your efforts with the Restorationist Coup will be enough to deter Marley," Eren interjects, leaning against his crutch drowsily, tilting his head to the side almost lazily— but Eren was alert as ever, "If we want to send a message, we must directly hit them at the source. Something they will never forget."

"What are you suggesting?" Erwin raises his brow as he takes a drag, but his character tells that he knows what Eren is going to say. It's not as if it were the first time he's mentioned it, only to have his efforts shot down by an overly-diplomatic wannabe hero.

Erwin is just as much of a devil as Eren, maybe even worse. For him to hide it now felt worthless, it was genuinely a feeble mask.

"I say we attack Marley, for once," Eren says, and Erwin for once does not dismiss him, allowing for the young man to speak his mind, "If all the important people are going to be there all at once, we could force them to reveal the Warhammer. There are so many tactical values we could gain by this, but you are so caught up in your morals you don't even realize Marley is already plotting to stab you in the back. Peaceful or not."

Zeke doesn't make any effort to object, leaning back on his crate as if genuinely considering it, taking another drag off his cigar. Erwin in contrast rejected it immediately with a small noise of disapproval, and he rubs his eyes with the base of his palm, careful not to singe his hair with the cigarette in his grasp.

He seemed fatigued, exhausted right down to the bone, as if he was inclined to pass out at any moment. Could explain why he was being so lenient on Eren today— usually he wouldn't even let him talk more than a few words in front of Zeke.

Eren used to take it to heart when he was younger, but with slowly gained wisdom he eventually got over it. His younger-self was a total information faucet, a blabbering idiot. All talk, and that's all.

"Eren, we can't just run-in with our guns blazing when we haven't even explored all our different options yet," he says, exasperated, "If we handle this peacefully first, and try negotiating a middle ground with the Tyburs, we could very well have a very powerful ally on our hands. It would be a massive step toward overthrowing their oppressive government."

Eren nearly cracks.

Is he being serious? A middle ground with the fucking Tybur family?!

The young man slumps to better balance himself, the grip on his crutch tightening with increasing frustration.

Erwin really was delusional.

"Okay, so we have the Tyburs as an ally, then what?" Eren counters, "they are just as much of an ally to Marley than they are to us. At any moment's notice, they can change their minds to whatever is more suitable to them. We'll still have a war on our hands, nothing is going to change."

That's when Erwin cracks, expression faltering, biting the inside of his cheek.

"You are right, but we should still try. I want to expire every single possibility before I decide to ultimately throw away every effort I have made with the Restoration Coup." Erwin concedes.

He understands Eren is right to some extent; Eren having blabbered a little too much in the early days of their preparation period, once a dull-witted adolescent.

Eren heavily exhales through his nostrils, essentially in a dismissive snort, but he doesn't overtly complain.

At least now he has Erwin agreeing with him again, leaving him compliant. Eren doesn't worry about his plan being overthrown, he knows Erwin is going to fail, and that's not a realization he made by his inflated ego.

"I'm all for attacking Liberio, but I also think the better option is for them to bring the fight to Paradis," Zeke then says, taking one final blow before putting out his cigar against the crate he was sat upon, the ash coloring the wood in charcoal.

"We could do that after," Eren utters, lacking in any substance through his voice, droning on in a continuous deadpan, "but I know very well of what your ulterior motives are."

Erwin slowly nods, and then he lies, "we'll still commit to the Euthanasia Plan, of course, but for now we'll be taking my course of action. If we can act as peaceful as we possibly can, that would seriously be of great help to our cause."

"Sounds like a plan to me," Zeke says, tossing away his cigar off into a distant corner, nearly getting Eren by his only leg. Dick. "If there is anybody we should be worried about, it'd be those two Ackermans that follow you around at your heels like little puppy dogs."

There's a pause. Erwin shows a trickle of emotion for the first time since showing up.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know what I mean, Erwin. Don't play dumb. The Ackerman bloodline could pose a threat if they aren't kept in check, and if I'm being honest I don't feel safe knowing you two both have one at your disposal," Zeek remarks, scratching at the fur on his chin, glasses glinting in the low light.

The calm nature of their gathering quickly changes, Erwin left visibly disturbed by the discussion they were suddenly having. Levi must be a pretty touchy subject, but Eren wasn't surprised.

Their relationship was something he'd only started noticing soon after Armin's passing. Levi had it really bad for his Commander.

Zeke's cyan eyes narrowly shifted towards Erwin, his hands clinging to the edge of the crate he was set upon as he bends forward- as if sizing the Commander up. "I'm sure you're fully aware of the Ackerman bloodline's history."

Eren grimaces behind the hair falling over his face, sharing in Erwin's disapproval on the subject. Zeke knew what he was doing playing this game.

It's not as if Erwin and Levi's relationship wasn't common knowledge, just about as obvious as Mikasa's feelings towards himself. The reminder felt like a bee sting under this context.

And yet, Zeke continues. "Failed experiments of titan science? Bound loyal forever to a singular person due to their Ackerbond?"

"I'm not unaware, Mr. Jaeger," Erwin respectfully clarifies, "I just want to know why you feel the need to bring them up."

"Well, they're dangerous," Zeke says, his life flashing just before his eyes, "I've noticed they both have an attachment to you. They're both willing to do just about anything for you, so how am I supposed to trust you?"

"We can't exactly control them," Eren pipes up, glaring, keeping his voice moderate before getting too defensive, "they are human beings, too, you know."

"I know," Zeke repeats, and he stands up, his knees popping, which was somewhat hilarious considering just how young Zeke was. Eren wanted to make as much of a mockery out of this man as he possibly could. "Just wanted to address them. That's all."

Surely, it was a threat. Eren didn't trust his half-brother, even for a second, and judging by Erwin's face he must have also lost any and all respect he probably had a sliver of. He knew nothing of what he did would be by his brother's influence.

The meeting goes on, and after a few minutes which feel like hours, Zeke finally dismisses them, claiming to need to have a mandatory briefing with his Marleyan General over the casting of the Tybur Family.

Eren sees Erwin out, following the Commander towards the exit, utilizing his crutch to better maneuver around the metal door. By the time Erwin had stepped out, he abandons his cigarette on the ground having smoked it nearly to its tip, using the toe of his penny loafers to smother the flame.

As the door shuts with an affirming click, Eren strokes his brunet locks behind his ear, getting a better look at the Commander before him. He seemed to knock down a few walls now that they were separated from Zeke, but his shoulders still tensed, trying to comb through his grayed disorder of hair in a haphazard attempt to gather himself.

Eren huffs, pressing his chin against the flat top of his crutch, finding better balance in this odd position on the gravelly earth.

"Are you really going with the Euthanasia Plan?" Eren asks, and Erwin returns to face him. He almost seemed amused by that suggestion.

"I think you and I both share similar feelings towards Zeke," Erwin says, attempting to sound more relaxed with a slight smile, but his squinting eyes told a different story, "I don't need to explain myself further than that, I suppose. I have contingencies if need be."

Eren doesn't move, but Erwin is a lot more jittery— reaching into his pocket to look at his watch, connected by a silver chain from his belt loops. He checks the time, trying to fill in the silence with productivity. It reminded him a lot of when they spent the night at the Church, just after reclaiming Wall Maria.

Erwin did everything he could possible to avoid. It used to disturb Eren— partially to why he punched him that night— but now he understood. Erwin has to be suffering after all the atrocities he's committed and witnessed, just anticipating being put down to rest, but someone was too persistent to let go.

"He has a point though, y'know," the brunet continues, and Erwin looks up again, raising a brow as a way to urge him to elaborate. "About the Ackermans, I mean."

The Commander spurs, straightening out his back. He clearly wants it to stop, but it demanded to be addressed one way or another, there was no way they could skid by this.

"Something is coming," Eren proceeds nevertheless, raising his free hand to scratch at his jaw, "I know you can feel it, too. There will be sacrifices to be made, more people are going to die. You're going to be living with that blood on your hands for the rest of your life."

Nothing new for the Commander, of course.

"You say this, why?" Erwin retorts, visibly annoyed, malice in his nature.

"Because I know how Levi truly feels about you," Eren plainly says, "it's similar to how Mikasa feels about me. I'm not ignorant. It's how their Ackerbond works, they become attached to us because they care. It's not just about their genetic code or our titan power."

Erwin purses his lips, narrowing his gaze, now interrogating, "do you reciprocate those feelings with her?"

"No," Eren blurts, far more defensive than he intended. 

"Then you wouldn't understand," Erwin says, slipping his pocket watch back from right from where he retrieved it, now taking his hat into his hands, "I've already been through this once before, Levi is no different."

The thing was, Eren did understand. He held this obligation too.

"They trusted us enough to place their hearts in the palms of our hands, unaware of how undeserving we are," Eren concludes. He notices Erwin blink, his face holding a lack of concentration, fiddling his fingers on the brim of his hat. "I know what I must do to protect her, so that she lives a long and happy life, even if I die. Even after I die. Do you?"

Erwin doesn't speak.

He simply places his hat back on using his left hand, and looks to Eren with sinister icy blue eyes, as if the devil himself finally retired and Erwin took his place. For the first time in several years, Eren felt chilled. That glare was confirmation enough.

"I will have to meet up with Floch and the rest of the R.C.," Erwin says, emphasizing the name Floch. Eren perks up, without even intending to. "Make sure you write your letter if it ever comes to that instance. Appear as if you're making yourself a hostage. Don't give them the choice of peace; I'll do the rest."

Well, it came to that instance.

Erwin failed to convince the Tybur family much to no disappointment, and now Eren was here, in this fucking Mental Hospital writing his filthy fucking letter.

The ink dripped from the tips of his fingers right down to his wrist, tracing the veins beneath his skin in black, dyeing the sleeves of his uniform.

He clutches the letter he wrote to Mikasa in a tight fist, tearing it into several pieces as the ink smudges all over both his hands, leaving Eren a trembling mess by the time it was in shreds. This was far too soon, merely acting on his impulse and impatience.

He isn't sure if what he feels is guilt or resentment for himself; he knows what he needs to do, and why he needed to do it, but his actions currently weren't matching the timeline he once gazed into.

There was no need to rush, there was a time and place for everything.

Eren just... Needs to...

He throws the pieces of the destroyed letter off to the side, pieces scattering vaguely in a corner, only highlighted by the moonlight glowing from the window behind Eren, appearing as dirty shattered glass.

He viciously clutches at his cheeks, digging his ink-stained fingers into his greasy hair, a giggle edging itself in the back of his throat— feeling like a hiccup sensation, unable to stop it as it rises, grumbling deep in his chest. Keeping it all down just made the pain worse, tears overflowing at the brim just ready to spill the instant he lets the first laugh out.

"Khhsss... Kheh, heh, heh..."

His laugher painfully crepitated past his throat, choking with every raspy cackle, using his wheezing as an attempt to hold them back. The idea of losing Mikasa truly was the final straw.

He feels the tears prick down his ink-stained cheeks, digging his dirty nails harshly into his scalp, drawing blood as his crying-laughter forces through his chattering teeth.

It hurts so fucking bad, a weighted sensation pulling at his heart, his lungs rejecting oxygen as he tried to prevent his laughs. At any rate, he just might suffocate here, right to death, finally ending the tragedy of the stupid miserable boy. Someone who asked for just too much, and now he has to pay for it.

Why did Armin have to die? Why did his mother have to die, all those years ago? Where was his family now, the people whom he loved his whole life?

These are the questions he asks Reiner, two weeks after sending his letter. The date had finally come.

Eren now faces his old 'friend' after all these years, the two sat directly across from each other in an abandoned cellar, a simple glowing lantern as their only source of light.

Eren was getting a little tired of these secretive, dimly lit, settings.

Directly above them lived hundreds of Eldian families, all waiting for the show. Eren had cut open directly across his palm, the blood dripping from his hand just as fluidly as it did ink. He knew the comparison was not that far off. This was how he was keeping Reiner here, threatening his transformation with a simple glare.

"Reiner. Please, sit down."

A little boy happened to be in the basement along with them, eyes wide with wonder and excitement, but it began to quickly dissipate the more rigid Reiner appeared. Eren's fingertips grazed over his gray armband, reminding himself of what had happened a few days ago.

The Warriors had recently arrived home after ending another War, and Eren was being transferred to a new facility around the same time. He had been knocked over after some Marleyan jackass decided to terrorize one of the patients.

The little boy decided to come over to soothe them; he was a nice kid, sympathetic, yet incredibly naïve.

The little boy just happened to be Falco Grice; Eren partially knew that through making connections with his father's memories. Colt and Falco are relatives to his father's friend, a Restorationist, who was tortured and turned into a titan by the Marleyans. He and his father had a conversation about them once, about how Grice's brother had a son.

The rest of that information came from his brother. Zeke and Colt were close since Colt was supposed to be the next heir of the Beast Titan. Zeke only once made an off-handed comment on Falco. Eren couldn't help but find it strangely fitting; The Jaeger and Grice family just keep crossing paths.

Falco was now standing in a corner, nearest to Reiner, visibly uncomfortable now, asking naive questions like "I thought you guys were friends?" and "is something wrong?"

He tried to leave when the tension got intolerable, but Eren denied it. He needed at least one sympathetic person to hear his story, maybe even learn from it, because sure as hell Reiner won't. Maybe Falco could be the commencement of change if he managed to survive long enough.

Some twisted side of Eren compared Falco to himself as a child when the Colossal Titan first broke down Wall Maria. The moments just before his mother was ruthlessly eaten.

The elongated silence between Reiner and Eren ended the moment the orchestra started tuning their instruments above, the bulky blonde finally getting his first blabbering words in. Eren could sense his terror if the look on his face wasn't enough, so strong he could practically smell it, replicating that same feeling Eren once felt back all those years ago when it revealed who his enemy was all along. Rather ironic.

"E-Eren," Reiner tries to say, his throat noticeably going dry, voice cutting short to vaguely enunciate the N at the end of Eren's name. The Warrior tried to swallow down his fear, gullet bobbing as his sweat pricked at his face, showing similar symptoms to a fever. "How did you get here? W-Why are you here?"

Eren must admit, in these final moments, Reiner had decently grown since the last he saw him: which was saying a lot, considering the last he saw Reiner in his human form, he was half-dead with a sword piercing right through his neck, plunging off the Wall as Captain Levi tried to end his life instantaneously but ultimately not reaching in time.

He looks good in his new appearance, despite the trauma and grief he's inflicted on countless amounts of people. Eren can imagine the mental toll it must have taken on the big guy; he was given a vague idea judging by the bags under his eyes, a hollow look embedded within his hazel pupils.

Being tortured by what he's done day by day must be punishment enough.

Eren could only wish that all of Marley would have never existed.

Maybe none of them would have ever been born... But now that they were, Eren had a responsibility.

"The same reason as you," Eren plainly says.

He can see color flush away from Reiner's face, watching him cradle his head as his breaths rapidly increase with his settling horror.

Eren leans in, his expression unchanging.

He wants to pity him; he really does, and yet he's numb. "Don't you get it? I am the same as you. I had no other choice."

Just like Reiner. Just like Erwin. Just like Levi, or Bertholdt, or Zeke, or Dina Fritz, or Grisha fucking Jaeger.

It doesn't matter.

Eren couldn't hold that against Reiner anymore, just once an innocent kid turned resentful by the world surrounding him, programmed to believe that those who were different than him were his true enemy, even if they came from the same lineage. Deceived into murder. In reality, it doesn't matter what type of blood pumps through to their heart.

They were all just human, after all.

There was a time where Eren didn't understand what all of this meant. Eventually, he realized it, admittedly a little overdue. Eren did change his motives, though. This no longer was about vengeance, but rather, cementing the brighter future for those who deserve it.

Being free should have always been a birthright.

Above, a microphone squeaks, incessant chatter beginning to dilute as the stage lights click.

"Sounds like it's starting," Eren says, his glower trained on Reiner. Falco shifts in his peripheral vision. "Let's listen."

The play begins with Willy Tybur spouting the true tale of Eldians and Paradis, how it came to be, and how Marley fits into the picture. Leaving behind the lies to benefit his purpose of War. His voice reverberates throughout the basement as the orchestra follows him flawlessly. Eren could only wonder how good the show must be up above.

"Let us look back in time. Roughly 100 years ago, the Eldian Empire ruled the world with the Power of the Titans. From the rise of Founder Ymir until today, Titans have robbed enough lives to eradicate humanity three times over. Countless cultures and peoples have been wiped out by Titans; their histories were stolen away. . ." The show goes on, a heated kettle beginning to bubble on the burner.

Eren notices the frozen glare Reiner held as the man above them speaks. He can only wonder how rapid his thoughts must be, being cornered like this. It should have been disheartening to see, but Eren was not moved.

Willy Tybur continues, and Eren for a moment realizes just how much he likes the name. It rolls off the tongue so effortlessly. Willy Tybur. It's a shame, really. Once after all of this has blown over, and once after Eren acts on his plan, there won't be a single person left to utter his name.

"...By joining hands with the Tybur family, they forced the unbeatable King Fritz to flee and retreat to the island. However, though he fled to Paradis Island, his power remained. . ." Willy shouts, his voice nearly straining. He seemed nervous, and yet he continues in perfect stride, appealing to the judgmental crowd, ". . .Tens of millions of Titans await on the island to trample the world. To this day, the only reason we have not been trampled yet is merely a fluke. Our scholars have no other explanation. . ."

Eren knew the answer Willy was looking for, but it was not worth correcting. He knew it far too well. . . Memories of a certain petite, blonde, royal woman coming to mind. He could merely ponder how she must be right now; not sleeping, that is for sure. She probably hated him, and honestly, that was completely reasonable.

"...To eliminate this threat, our Motherland Marley sent four Warriors to the island, but they were beaten back and only the Armored Titan returned. The darkest blot on humanity's history, the Eldian Empire, is alive and well. . ." There it was. The story of the four ignorant children marching off to doom the lives of every person Eren had ever known, and beyond that.

He was once an ignorant child, too. Mikasa and Armin were his only best friends, they use to run all over the Shiganshina district playing with long sticks and chasing leaves soaring through the wind, dreaming about a world that they had never seen. In a sense, both Reiner and Eren had their innocence stripped from them, far too early.

"You hear that? Isn't that why you destroyed the wall? You guys were trying to save the world, weren't you?" Eren inquires. Reiner avoids a response, his gaze transfixed on the floor.

Eren sighs, and he unties the knot around his dismembered leg, allowing the cloth to flow freely before rolling it up. Steam began to spew from the stump remaining from his thigh.

Up above, Willy now told the story of Helos. A Marleyan soldier, known for his slaughtering of a cruel Eldian king, and how he joined forces with King Fritz to withhold global peace.

Eren grunted, watching as his leg begins taking form once again, his flesh stitching itself together, knitting like crochet. It was not painful as much as it was uncomfortable, but that feeling was quickly drowned away by the surprised gasp he heard from Falco, quickly replaced with guilt.

By the time his leg was fully formed, he rolled down his pant leg and stood, promptly plucking at the buttons of his white dress shirt. Reiner's eyes widened, a look of familiarity flashing across his face.

Beneath, Eren wore a Survey Corps uniform.

This was their new design, sleek and black, more volatile than the old uniform they once wore. The same Wings of Freedom plaque remained, etched into the metal piece against his chest. Eren tosses away his jacket and shirt along with the gray armband, leaving it in a pile close to Reiner's boots.

By the grace of Commander Erwin Smith, he was lucky enough to get his uniform and gear for the mission, just so that he did not have to solely rely on his Titan to fight.

Eren moves around his chair, staggering as he tried to get used to having two feet to walk on again.

He makes way to a crate and removes the oil lantern on top, dirty nails digging into the wooden box as he pries it open, reveling in the scent of humidity and smoke— all too familiar.

Zeke had used this piece of shit as a chair once, the burn mark from his cigar remained on its lid. Eren had seen this box on two different occasions before, it was a little odd to now know Erwin had prepared everything since the beginning. Levi wasn't exaggerating when it came to the Commander's hunches always being right.

Inside remained the rest of his gear: connecting metal pieces, boots, guns, and of course- the ODM gear itself, now called "Anti-personnel vertical maneuvering equipment" or AVM for short. Useless against titans with the guns alone, Eren quickly notes, but perfect against humans.

Hange had made this gear a lot more effective to put on, every piece clicking into place seamlessly, much like a puzzle.

Eren removes the bandages around his eye as he continues. Reiner could only watch, jaw slack, clinging to his wooden chair. His glare was trained on the Survey Corps emblem on his left breast-plate.

"You... You brought them here?"

"Of course I did," Eren answered simply, and he pulled out a hair-tie, gathering his long brunet locks back and tying it into a messy low ponytail. 

By now, Willy has begun to go about Eldian's new threats.

"...Yes... In exchange for our safety, the Tybur family joined hands with Karl Fritz and sold out the Eldians to Marley..." Tybur continues his spiel, his tone becoming gentler as he continues, showing his vulnerability in a moment of intimacy.

The crowd's voices begin to raise, loathing in their voices, conversations beginning to develop.

Eren had known that the Tybur would pull this victim card. Willy was already once given the chance to redeem himself when Erwin came to his door, foolishly asking to negotiate, wanting to form an alliance to save Eldians. Only now was the Tybur acting as if he truly was apologetic, merely for the prospect of convincing a crowd.

What a fucking joke.

". . . We are no more than traitors lavishing in crookedly earned honor! The reason that I stand here and willingly take part with this sham is that I know our world is in great peril. . ."

As Eren put on his boots, he could hear Falco gagging in a corner, whimpering like a kicked puppy as he began to weep. Eren's expression did not change, not even once.

He was now fully geared up, taking his dual grappling guns and attaching them to each of his hips by the metal connector dangling from his belt, jingling with bullets from the inside. One of the guns felt noticably heavier than the other, and for a moment he paused, before ruling it to be defunct. Guess he just had to work with what he had.

". . .Using the power of the Founding Titan, Karl Fritz erected three walls. These walls, formed by tens of millions of Colossal Titans, have served as Paradis' shield and spear. Wall Maria, Rose, and Sina. Each safeguarding peace. . ."

Eren stood up tall, glowering down at Reiner who was cradling his knees. The broken man simply takes another dull breath, doing some final adjustments to his suit. There was a small fragment of doubt buzzing at the back of Eren's head, craving anything, even an eyelash of a reason why he shouldn't commit to what he was going to do.

If Reiner says anything remotely meaningful, of course... But that being said, Eren remembers all that the enemy has done to prevent a better future for his people, and how his enemies are to blame for preventing any future children from living harmoniously in their deserved freedom. To the extent, they believed they should have never been born.

That needed to end, one way or another.

". . .But recently, an uprising occurred on Paradis Island. King Fritz's peace was undermined by a person who stole the Founding Titan. Once again, there's a threat to our world. . . A rebel against peace! His name: Eren Jaeger!"

There was a pregnant pause, chatter from the audience overhead steadily rose. Willy allowed his words to resonate, and boy, did nothing good come from that.

"Y-You tricked me... I-I respected you... But you tricked me!" Falco suddenly blurted out, and Eren finally looks toward him. The kid was shivering, pinning his back against the wall, clinging to the bricks as if they would somehow rescue him. Tears kept flowing down his face, cheeks red and puffy. Eren squints slowly, adjusting his cuffs.

"I'm sorry, Falco," Eren says, almost bitterly, "I needed your help."

Immediately, as if a natural reflex, Reiner looks up at Falco looking for any explanation he could get. Eren permitted Falco to do the talking for him, hearing how his voice shatters and fails, far too rattled to be coherent.

"Th-The letters! The ones you had me send, you said they were to your family!" Falco attempted to shout, That familiar accusatory tone all Marleyans used in his voice, understandably so. Eren's frown deepens. Everyone in this country, Eldian or not, has been polluted.

"They didn't reach my family, but they did reach my comrades," Eren mutters grimly, taking steps around the chair, clanking with every movement. Reiner shivers, and Falco continues to shout.

"No way! You're kidding! Y-Your comrades!?"

". . .The threat of Paradis Island is the stampede of millions of Colossal Titans, all parading at once... The Rumbling. As I mentioned, the vow renouncing war prevents the King's bloodline from fully using the Founding Titan. . ." Willy Tybur says before Eren could clarify anything, and the brunet allows for him to continue. He could explain it way more sufficient than Eren ever could.

"...But currently, the rebel "Eren Jaeger" may begin this Rumbling at any moment, by use of the Founding Titan he now inherits. Once the Rumbling is set into motion, there is nothing that we can do to stop it. All lands and civilizations will be trampled, literally razed to the ground. . .!"

Eren sits back down, taking in the burden of what Willy had said. It was remarkable how accurate it was. "He's right, you know. . ."

Reiner makes a noise, teetering on the edge of a yelp, hazel darting amidst Eren and Falco. He keeps his hands close to himself, clasping at his temples; the dread rising within him.

"It's like Willy says... I'm the bad guy. I just might destroy the world," Eren resumes, picking at the piece of metal around his wrist, strands of hair falling in front of his face but he makes no effort to pull them back again, "But to me, you were the bad guys, too. That day, when the wall was destroyed and Titans invaded my hometown. I watched my mother get eaten. I couldn't understand; why did so many people have to suffer this say?"

Falco's sorrow dies down, truly listening just as Eren wanted earlier— but he realizes now that maybe it was a futile attempt.

"Why, Reiner? Why was my mom eaten by a Titan?"

"Because... on that day, we broke the wall," Reiner mumbles miserably, putting his hands on his lap now, sweat dripping from his hair.

"Why did you break the wall?"

"To sneak in during the chaos and see how the King would react."

"What was your mission?"

The Warrior hesitates but inevitably answers: "To retake the Founding Titan... And save the world."

Just as Eren knew. The brunet leans back in his chair, relaxing by propping his right arm back, blood trickling down from his fingers to the floor in a steady rhythm. "I see... Well, if it was to save the world, you did not have much of a choice, did you?"

It still did not seem to be enough of an explanation; it's not like Eren could have been any more direct. Reiner continues his cowering, reveling in his shame. His brain had become a melting pot of every horrible thing he's ever done, and it prohibited from him making any rational connections.

"Back then, you told me you would make us suffer and die in the worst way possible." The Warrior blabbers, "Isn't... That why you came...? To make us Suffer?"

"Oh," Eren grimaces, sourly remembering how lost in vengeance he once was. He honestly was surprised Reiner remembered that. He thought the Warrior was a lot more brazen than to take his younger self's empty threats seriously. It was a highlight to just how far they have all come along, or rather, regress— in Reiner's case. "I think I vaguely remember ever saying that."

Reiner whimpers again, all too overwhelmed and confused; a lost baby deer cornered by Eren's bared teeth.

"Just pretend I never did," Eren reassures, scratching at the back of his neck, somewhat embarrassed by his previous actions. At least that freckled girl he once knew had a point: he was an idiot. "It's true, though. I once saw everyone on the other side of the sea as my enemy— but then, I crossed the sea, slept under the same roof as them, ate the same food..."

The Warrior buckles down, at this rate he's purposefully not trying to get it. What the fuck was this pathetic display?

"Reiner, I'm the same as you," Eren repeats. He needed Reiner to understand. He needs him to understand why he was justified. "Sure, there are assholes here, but there are good people too. Across the sea, within the walls... It's all the same."

He looks toward Falco, who recoils at the mere glance. He seems to have steadied himself better than Reiner though, a little match flickering inside his mind. Maybe Eren spoke too soon. This couldn't be diluted down to good and bad anymore, he should have caught himself. As Armin once said— it's all about how a person is perceived.

Eren leans in, lowering his voice down to a practically consoling one.

"You guys were taught everyone in the walls was a devil. Hatred was drilled into you when you were just kids. What could you even do?" He says, gently, "Your childhood. Your environment. Your history. There was nothing you could have done to prevent it, and it must have rendered you to be in so much pain, right Reiner? I finally understand that."

Reiner for a moment chokes on his breath, a small shock of realization.

"No! You're wrong, Eren!" The Warrior collapses from his wooden seat, falling to his hands and knees, at Eren's feet as he wailed. "That day, when Marcel was eaten, Annie and Bertholdt tried to turn back and end the mission. But I... I talked them into it, and made them go on!"

The Warrior sobs, digging his fingers into the floor beneath them; a man who wanted to be trialed for the crimes he's committed, so torn he wants anyone— no matter how sinful they are in return— to judge him for it and call his sentence.

"I-I wanted to be a hero... I wanted people's respect... It's my fault!" Reiner lamented, a few droplets of tears pattered against the floor, "your mother was eaten by a titan... Because of me!"

Eren felt like going over it all over again was redundant. Of course, his mother was eaten because of Reiner, if one looks at it with a narrow-minded lense, but in reality— it was a lot deeper than that. Was Eren really going to blame the fate of humanity on a little kid who just wanted to save the world?

Reiner looks back down, cradling the back of his head in a fetal position, exposing his nape. Eren could only watch, verdant eyes narrowing.

"Just kill me," Reiner whines, "please, I beg you, kill me. I can't live with myself anymore. . ."

For a split second, Eren was tempted to actually do it, that childish vengeful side to him itched to grab his gun and shoot Reiner right in his nape— not only as a mercy kill but as a way to gratify himself as well. He knew very well how much that wouldn't help, and he held back. This wasn't the point.

"Is that why you didn't leave?" Eren challenges, "Is that also why Armin is now dead? Because of your pride? You already lost two Warriors— it couldn't have been to save yourself."

Reiner peers up at him, clutching at his stomach with a death-grip, looking more sickly than before if that was even feasible.

"... Armin is dead...?"

His voice was hoarse, hardly even pronouncing his words properly, just at the cusp of grieving all over again. "O-Oh... Oh my God..."

He knew Armin and Reiner were friends before, seeming as if they genuinely liked each other's company back in their training days, even closer to each other than Eren ever got with Reiner. . . Maybe he should not have mentioned it.

"You killed because you thought it was the right thing to do. Why else would you come back?" Eren says, removing any inflection of emotion from his voice. Armin was still a touchy subject, even without the bones. "it's not because you wanted to. You thought you were justified, considering all the shit Marley had ever taught you."

"I, more than anyone, have always hated my blood. I wished for nothing but for Eldians to be wiped out from existence . . ." Willy Tybur rings in again after being momentarily forgotten, speaking words of hypocrisy. "But I do not wish to die. That is because I was born into this world!"

Eren blinks. Huh.

". . .We are people of different races and nations! However, it is time to join as one and face this dreadful enemy! Lend me your strength, those of you who wish to live! Those of you who wish for a future! If we work together, we can overcome any obstacle in our way. . . !"

The audience roars, but Eren is unsure if that was a negative thing.

Eren sequentially sighs and lugs himself to his feet in a cacophony of creaking metal and leather. It's almost time. He holds out his bloody hand, a final offering. If Reiner didn't get it by now, he never will.

"Stand up."

The Warrior looks up in his devastation, reluctantly taking Eren's hand into his own by the order, allowing himself to be pulled up to his feet. Just then, there are knocks on the basement door.

Falco flinches and jumps back, looking to Reiner for any guidance, but the Warrior had it made in for Eren.

It's as if Reiner trusted him, so vulnerable in the moment, that he had nobody else to turn to but a piece of shit like him. Maybe he finally understood, and he thought they could be friends again. The idea of that was so pitiful.

"Reiner... Just as I thought." Eren mutters dryly. He could feel the Warrior's rapid pulse at their joined hands, where his index finger gently rested upon his wrist, just by cause of natural movement. "I'm the same as you. I think... We were born this way."

The audience above begins to boo in roars, causing Willy Tybur to hesitate on continuing. He clears his throat, as a way to attempt to reassure the masses, but its no use ". . .I want you to join me in the fight against the putrid devils of Paradis Island! Here and now, as representative of the Marleyan government, I-I proclaim. . . !"

"We hate your government!" Another voice yells, more powerful than the Tybur. The mob is stirred into a disorderly mess, screaming their opposition; Eldians yelling their shared revulsion amongst other countries. Erwin's plan came to Eren's mind...

The vague sounds of zipping cables blasted overhead, the stomping of soldiers following after.

Gunshots begin to fire, cries of revolution resulting after. It appears like the hell has begun without Eren. The audience screams and Reiner's attention is nearly adverts, but Eren pulls him back in with a rough squeeze. He forces the Warrior to look at him in the eye, unallowing in letting go.

Reiner's horror promptly returns.

"I'll just keep moving forward." Eren asserts in resignation, the air enriching in electricity, a spark developing at their entwined hands, confirming his destiny, "Until my enemies are destroyed."

He doesn't let Reiner go, the Warrior attempting to run to protect Falco but Eren doesn't let him. The kid takes his chance of bravery, grabbing onto Reiner's midsection and clinging to him, screaming his name as the room fills with a brilliant bright light.

"This... Is a declaration of war- HUH?!"

A flash of lightning and it's all over. Eren transforms, bursting through the building in his Attack Titan form, completely decimating the complex behind the stage from the inside. Boulders fly into the air, the screams of the audience abruptly ceasing as the Attack Titan roars.

Another flash of lightning engulfs Eren, just where Reiner had stood, the Armored Titan's arm reaching out toward the sky as if trying to grasp the moon, it's face contorted as it squeezes through the building's rubble and corpses. It was a half transformation, but a destructive one nonetheless. Reiner doesn't move past it.

It's as if time froze. Eren raises his arms, allowing the moonlight to declare him as a deity— or rather— the devil.

By the time he looks down, he finds that Willy Tybur wasn't on stage. Had he crushed him? Or better yet, did Reiner crush him?

Willy looks up at him for a split second before being launched into the air, but not by Eren's attack, but by a Scout? He was already being carried away, dragged by his torso through the air and disappearing behind the buildings. Eren couldn't make out who that could have been.

Things continue as suit: The audience cries and attempt to escape, Eren destroys his surroundings in an attempt to kill them all, managing to murder a plentiful of important Generals. Hundreds die. The Warhammer Titan makes her existence known and appears before Eren, and the Attack Titan punches it mid-transformation, bashing in its face repeatedly to gain the upper hand.

She uses her ability and creates a tower, piercing right through the Attack Titan's chest. He manages to break free, the spike still impaling him, but anti-titan canons began to shoot right back at him— giving the Warhammer better leverage as it summons a hammer made of its own flesh, creating spikes all around the battle field, tearing the Attack Titan apart.

She raises her weapon, taking advantage of Eren's weakness and bashing her mallet against the Attack Titan's head, fully amputating it off. This causes Eren to forcefully pull from his titan's nape, glaring at the Warhammer as she reels back for another attack. He simply stands, pulling from the meat that enveloped him.

"Usurper, Eren Jaeger," The Warhammer says, albeit too cartoonishly, "do you have any last words?"

Eren pulls at his hair, fixing his ponytail, only a few strands loose. He takes his pleasant time, already knowing just who was behind him.

"Mikasa, do it now," Eren grumbles.

Right on cue, Mikasa then arrives, using her Thunderspears to fully penetrate upon the Warhammer's nape and pulling the pins as she glides away. The Thunderspears explode, creating a massive creator within the Warhammer's nape, causing the titan to fall.

Mikasa goes again, growling as she shoots more Thunderspears on the other side of the Warhammer's head, pulling the pins as the Warhammer Titan's head fully falls off. The Ackerman gracefully lands upon the Attack Titan's shoulder by the time she's finished her destruction. 

She takes a moment to wipe her face of sweat with the tips of her fingers, sniffling as she faces Eren, who has his eyes trained on the fully decimated Warhammer. It lays there, but it's not dead.

"You guys made it, huh," Eren mumbles, blinking slowly as he watches the Warhammer's head slowly decompose, the body still alive. Interesting.

"Eren... Please, just come home," Mikasa whimpers, gunshots firing around them, the Survey Corps soaring up above, "do you have any idea of what you've done...?"

Eren finally looks at her, The Ackerman kneels to his side, her expression held in so much grief she seems corpse-like, much like every face Eren's ever seen on his friends. Including Reiner.

"You've killed civilians... Children... Innocent people," she says, and Eren follows her gaze, witnessing the bodies his destruction left behind. A majority were dead, but there were still few who were just barely alive, suffering and bleeding. They were bound to die anyways, but in the worst way imaginable. "What would Armin think of this?"

Eren's expression flattens into anger and he looks away. That was a low-blow on Mikasa's part, and she knew it; Armin just happened to both be their weaknesses.

"I'm not Armin," the young man says, soullessly, "he's dead. It wouldn't matter what he thinks."

The Ackerman shudders, wiping at her face again, to rid of tears this time. Eren doesn't apologize, he simply huffs, waiting for the Warhammer to make it's next move and yet— she never does. 

"Commander Erwin said we are to retrieve the Warhammer Titan alive," Mikasa then says, then uses her grapple gun to follow a trail, a long white tube connected by the Warhammer's ankle, the line hiding beneath the rubble into a hole in the ground. Eren's breath hitches. "She's being easy on you for that reason."

What? 

"The Warhammer isn't in her body," Eren concludes, trying to egg on an answer, "you knew that since the beginning, right? How come you made such a show taking her down?"

He already had a feeling as to why, judging by how events have transpired so far. Erwin lied about failing on his deal with the Tybur Family... Huh.

"I'm not sure, I was just ordered to by Deputy Hange," Mikasa replies, pulling at her crimson scarf, sticking to her neck with sweat, "It was all by Commander Erwin's call, they said."

"Understood," Eren says, more so lies. "I'll be sure to make this a fun show."

One things leads to another. At first, it was a normal fake out fight, Eren reconstructing his Titan form and pretending to make sure the Warhammer's body was dead— then something primal took over, causing the Attack Titan to dig it's paws amongst the rubble, finding the Tybur who was responsible for handling the Warhammer.

She was just sitting there, looking wounded, bleeding from her head as a long white cable attached to her ankle. Things change the moment Eren picks her up, holding her between his fist just above his mouth. He catches a glimpse of her horror just as he's about to bite down upon her body, but just as he does, the Attack Titan's teeth shatter.

She's entrapped herself into a crystal, and immediately uses her ability to relocate herself and summon another Warhammer Titan. Mikasa quickly notices, but she wasn't fast enough to reach as the Warhammer uses hardened flesh to amputate through the Attack Titan's head.

Once again, Eren is left to peel from his titan form, and just before the Warhammer could attack again— Mikasa pulls him away, finding safety on top a nearby building, quickly leaping away to defend once Eren was safe. She flies and maneuvers around the Warhammer's sword, now seriously defending her life as it clashes against walls and buildings, Mikasa narrowly escaping each time.

Eren takes the chance to look for the Lady Tybur's body, following the line along the Warhammer's feet just as Mikasa did earlier.

For moment, he looks around for any other potential threats, and he takes notice of Captain Levi who had just arrive much in his regularly fashion, mirroring Eren's expression. Right on time, Captain.

This interaction meant nothing; just an empty acknowledging nod before Eren launches himself off the building, biting deeply into his hand to transform once more. He digs paw right into the earth, pulling out a crystal with a long white flesh-like cable, yanking off the connection and immediately after the Warhammer Titan crashed to the ground— her titan going dead. 

The Jaw Titan then suddenly leaps into action— clinging onto the Attack Titan's back, digging it's claws into his flesh as it's jaw unhinges wide, fully intending to bite the nape. Eren's immediate reflexes weren't faster than Levi, who quickly came to his aid.

The fight continues, the Beast and Cart Titans arrive, hundreds of people die and still no sight of Reiner— past his partial transformation, still reaching towards the sky.

Zeke, or rather the Beast Titan, gets taken down rather easily. The Cart titan on the other hand, not so much. Eren quickly notices Jean taking charge, using himself as bait as the Cart titan shoots, right down till the moment he gets shot. 

Jean doesn't collapse, though, he just continues firing his thunderspears until he doesn't have any left— making sure there was going to be no possible way of it ever getting back up. Eren finds newfound respect for his long-time rival, not so much a rival anymore as he was a bantering friend... Well, probably not anymore.

Just before Eren could distractedly ogle anymore, the Jaw Titan returns in full heat, digging and shredding its claws through the Attack Titan's flesh at any chance he could. Eren mindlessly moves the Tybur Crystal in the way as a form of defending himself, initially a panicked action based on instinct— until he learns something peculiar.

The Jaw Titan was able to cut through the crystal, leaving three dangerous claw marks embedded into the hardened diamond. The titan quickly retreats once it realizes what it's done, but Eren doesn't allow it that easily.

Eren's eyes glint deadly, and his Attack Titan roars, Mikasa following his train-of-thought seamlessly as she comes in with now her swords— having run out of thunderspears to fight with. 

She manages to cut through the Jaw Titan's legs smoothly like butter, causing it to groan as it crashes against the buildings it was attempting to cling to. Eren doesn't even give it a second go breathe as he takes it by its mane within his fist, pulling the titan apart limb from limb before shoving the Lady Tybur's crystal between it's teeth.

Eren had managed to reduce this versatile titan into a simple nutcracker, his only use to be for the Attack Titan's abuse, his paws on either end of the Jaw Titan's skull as he uses all his strength to clap the two pieces together with the Crystal in between.

He watches as the two stare down at Eren, a new advanced form of terror shared between their eyes, pleading for their lives without really saying anything. The crystal cracks, and then it's shattered, falling into the Attack Titan's maw in a fountain of blood.

At the Attack Titan swallows, Eren could feel his heart beating, his eyes dilating as a new feeling surges through his chest. It burned like whiskey, it tasted like metal, he and his titan becoming more than one for just a moment as he fully devours the woman who was once willing to side with him.

He didn't regret it.

Not a second later, Eren is smashing the Jaw Titan against the ground, repeatedly mashing him amongst the rubble by his hair until he was sure there was not a shred of consciousness left. He could feel that primal feeling washing over him again, a shrouding cape as his mindset becomes wolfish and carnivorous. 

He needed to kill.

Kill every one of their enemies. They all needed to fucking die. Eren was going to be the end to this world.

Die. Die. Die.

"Eren!" Mikasa cries, and Eren halts before he can sink his teeth around the Jaw Titan's host, not even realizing he'd already bitten off the flesh of his nape. 

Eren quickly realizes what he's done, and he tears away from his Attack Titan cocoon, peeling away from the flesh and standing upon his Titan's shoulders. It was holding the Jaw Titan as if it were some kind of meal; just some dinner-time appetizer. 

He pulls out the AVM guns to his side, mindful of the defunct one as he leaps to collect the Jaw Titan's host. Right below his feet, remained hundreds of protesters, holding up pitchforks and torches as the Plaza now sets ablaze.

Their screams were overwhelming all at once, making Eren dizzy as he tries to refocus on his main task, looking around. He catches one final glimpse of the Armored Titan, still unmoving. Maybe Eren did kill them.

"Mikasa, I've exhausted my capabilities of transforming," Eren shouts, aiming his grapple gun. She lands just beside him, concentration lost but she still looks to him for whatever he has to say.

"We need to get to the Airship!" Mikasa shouts right back, the screaming below getting too unbearable, his surroundings becoming overwhelming— not just by the crowd surrounding him, but just from exhaustion in general.

Eren rubs his forehead, slowly blinking as he feels the Jaw Titan's host breath shallowly against his arm, and he quickly adds one final comment before aiming his gun and zipping away.

"Do me a favor, and never bring up Armin again."

With that, the pair swing off, landing upon the airship as some of the final stragglers to come aboard. Surrounding him, the setting was hectic, not any better than the environment down in Liberio— earning a well-deserved headache.

The first thing he notices is Jean, being aided by Connie and Marlowe with their quick hands. Eren had full faith he would survive, but the sight of blood was beginning to make him queasy.

Just then, he's greeted by Commander Erwin, who sort of shows up before him without even realizing. Eren might be a little disoriented, but he greets the Commander back anyways, showing off what he's managed to collect without really ever communicating past three letters.

Erwin leads him and Mikasa through the crowd of Scouts, occasionally being pat on his back by Floch or some other member of the Restorationist Coup, but every touch felt like being pricked with needles. Luckily the change in setting managed to dilute his sensory overload, now in a quieter room.

Willy Tybur, Zeke, Yelena, and Hange were all waiting in storage for the four to arrive. At least now all of Eren's earlier suspicions were confirmed, Willy and Erwin did manage to strike up a deal. Why Erwin would lie about that was beyond suspicious, but Eren presumed it'd be explained right about now.

Hange was the first to greet them, but this time, it wasn't in their usually friendly tone. They didn't even smile, that comforting smile that used to either creep the crap out of Eren— or reassure him. They've become so dull, or maybe that was just due to their setting. 

The Survey Corps were in charge of thousands of innocent civilian's deaths, after all. All by Eren's accord, partially by Erwin's.

"Welcome back, Jaeger," They say, a small lilt of anxiety peaking in their voice, "I hope you're happy; we came just as you asked."

Eren drops the Warrior's unconscious body from in between his arms, grabbing him by the hair and dragging him off to a corner closest to his half-brother. He found no amusement in Hange's comment. "Deputy."

Levi takes refuge against the wall, crossing his arms, nothing but unadulterated anger written on his face. Eren didn't see what transpired earlier, but he already knows the Captain was dripping with hatred, fuming so much he could be mistaken for a titan shifter too.

"First thing's first," Erwin finally decrees upon entering, gesturing towards the Jaw Titan's inheritor, "Zeke, what's his name."

"Porco Galliard," Zeke says, without even an ounce of hesitation, selling out his former comrade. Eren always knew being a scumbag ran in the family. "He's the one who ate Ymir, the soldier from your 104th training squad, and now inherits the Jaw Titan. He's a stubborn bastard, but a good man."

 _"Porco Galliard,"_ Erwin repeats, clicking his tongue, before looking to Yelena, "I thought you were supposed to take care of the Jaw and Cart titans, did something go wrong?"

Yelena frowns, scratching away flakes of glue on her chin. "Yes, and I would like to apologize for my insolence. I was sure I had successfully trapped both of them in the pit, but I suppose they must have found a way out."

Levi scoffs. "I guess that explains why Zeke had to throw more boulders than originally intended," he marches over towards the man, his glasses fogged up with steam, vaguely reflecting Levi's shape back at him, "I guess improv must be your specialty, considering you're a sideshow clown. Am I wrong, Beardy?"

Zeke looks up, his dry tone matching the Captain's. "Be careful with that glare of yours, Levi. Who knows, you just might be the one to clean up after me if I piss myself."

Zeke shifts, his eye peeking through the glare, tilting his head to the side almost playfully— but within context, it was nothing but insulting. "But y'know, you're not too bad of an actor yourself, it almost felt as if you wanted to actually kill me. The circus is still hiring, so if you ever needed another way to waste your time breathing, I'm sure they'll take you in. You're short enough to star in the Freak Show, after all."

Levi narrows his glare, "credit where credit is due, I suppose. Go ahead and piss yourself, please, it's probably the only party trick you know being a circus animal. Maybe toss your shit around too, while you're at it. They give you extra bananas for that, fit for a monkey as yourself."

"Levi," Hange chastises, placing their hand upon his shoulder. The elder Ackerman backs down, but he keeps his stare pinned onto Zeke, his boot just inches away from being withing kicking-distance. Eren would know.

Usually scenarios like this would be amusing under better circumstances. Levi always had the best comebacks, and during lunches, Connie and Jean would test his boundaries if he happened to be around. They'd usually end either with a roast so detrimental to their health it burned them alive, or Levi makes them clean up the whole Cafeteria for the next week.

It used to crack Sasha up seeing them get what they 'deserved', back when times were better. She would laugh so hard, Mikasa had to save her from choking a few times, which would only make her laugh even more...

But Sasha was gone now.

Nothing about this was fun.

"Next order of business," Erwin carries out like normal, turning towards his Captain as he usually does, but the words he spills next speak beyond the opposite of that. "Levi, I am demoting you from your Captain position," so he says, oh so candidly.

Levi instantly levels out his stance, lifting himself from the wall, brows scrunching furiously in incredulity. Hange resembled more alarmed than him. Even Zeke seems taken aback by this abrupt drop. The secondhand embarrassment was palpable, tasting like leather.

It takes Levi a second to say anything, uncrossing his arms to reach towards the Commander.

"What?" Levi spits. Erwin doesn't blink. He doesn't even move. The elder Ackerman bites his tongue before speaking again, as if withholding something, "Is this truly how it's going to be?"

"No longer will you associate in our next plans and meetings from now on forward," Erwin maintains, ignoring the gaze of opposition he was earning from all sorts of directions. Erwin devoured the heart Levi had trusted him with. "You will, however, continue to reside in the Special Operations Squadron. I trust that Hange will reasonably decide your new position, and that of who will take your place."

Levi clenches his jaw, his eyes spelling nothing but confusion and betrayal, left to bleed out onto the floor from his chest where his heart once beat.

Eren takes the moment to glimpse at Mikasa, her attitude held stern glancing back at him as if she sensed him, a bead of sweat rolling down her cheek. Silently sharing their uneasiness with a flash, much like they always have when they could not speak. Their bond was always a unique one.

Eren reminds himself he'll have to devour her heart too. . . Soon.

Now was not the appropriate time.

"You're dismissed." The final strike, burning into Levi's skin like cow branding, hissing against his flesh as the chilling words settle in.

You're dismissed... Jeez.

The former Captain turns around without another utterance of a word, slamming the metal door open with his foot as he leaves the room. The door then falls shut with a painfully loud clank, abandoning the rest to stand in their silence.

"Commander Erwin, I don't. . ." Hange faltered, their brows joined as stressful creases form on their forehead. "Levi is our strongest soldier, why would you demote him like that? You are aware of his abilities, right? D-Did you hit your head or something?"

"Are you questioning my orders?" Erwin snaps, his eyes wide and sinister, that same devilish look Eren had grown to be familiar with had once again returned.

He looked terrifying in the low light, the shadows covering his face, blue eyes strike snake-like as if he were daring Hange as prey. Only Erwin could make Eren so uneasy. But more then terrifying, underneath all of that savagery, he looked... Miserable. Hollow.

"Yes! I am!" Hange shoots back, blowing right through Erwin's faux cruelty, putting their foot down. They place their hands upon their hips. "As your Deputy, I don't understand how you can make such a haphazard decision like that! You didn't even discuss this with me beforehand, how in the hell am I supposed to side with you on this?!"

Erwin looks away, toward Eren and bites the inside of his cheek as he endures Hange's scolding. A fragment of humanity. As they finish, he balances his stance properly, moving to hide his arms behind his back, underneath the pine-green Survey Corps cape he sported. "Do you want to lose your position too?"

Hange stiffens, moving their hands down to their side slowly. "Huh? Of course not."

"Then I suggest you stop while you're ahead," Erwin retorts, and Hange shuts their mouth, "and don't ask these ridiculous questions again."

Hange stops in their raging turmoil, glaring at Erwin with vague repugnance before dismissing themselves in the direction of the cockpit. "Onyankopon! What's the status?"

Now the only ones who remained were Eren, Mikasa, Yelena, Zeke, Willy, and Erwin— Porco not counting, due to being unconscious. It was rather stuffy in the room, even after Hange and Levi departed. Erwin now focuses his attention towards the Eren and Mikasa duo, who stood at attention towards him. Mikasa salutes, but Eren doesn't move.

"Eren, Mikasa; I told you to keep the Warhammer alive," Erwin says, surprisingly smooth, but enough venom was injected into his words to be held chilling. "I never asked you to bring me Galliard. You disobeyed my orders."

"It's not like it matters," Eren fires right back, using Erwin's condescending tone against him. "I brought you the Jaw Titan. If you need a bargaining chip, we have two Warriors at our disposal."

Erwin heaves, as if holding back a scolding, his blue eyes darting back to Willy who was now turned towards him. He seemed disturbed, but still remained relatively calm.

"So, my sister is dead?" Willy asks with a stuttering voice, and Erwin visibly tenses his shoulders, turning towards the Tybur with a respectful gesture. That stupid false-heroism far too unfitting for the setting.

"It appears so," Erwin states, gritting his teeth, speaking with careful hesitance, "Eren had eaten her and usurped her Titan. I apologize, this was not part of my intended plan."

"Ah... I see," Willy dusts off his pants and straightened out his suit, his expression quickly turning grim. Eren wished, to just spite him, that he could eradicate more of his bloodline. Eren still regrets not having killed that putrid man when he transformed.

"Well, the deal is off." Willy states, and he claps his hands together, "you were to keep my sister alive and you failed. Unfortunately, you failed to keep up with our conditions, so I refuse to keep up with yours."

The Tybur makes way to exit the room, but Erwin quickly stands in his way, cutting off his path.

"Where do you think you're going?" Erwin asks, glimpsing at the tall woman Yelena for just a split second. It was enough to send a message.

"I'm getting off this airship one way or another," Willy utters far too bravely, his pupils shrunken and lips quivering, clearly rattled by the death of his sister, "I reject even the idea of staying in the same space, no less breathing the same air, as the rebel who ate my sister."

Willy glares at Eren as he speaks, but Eren keeps his nerve. The brunet doesn't put in much effort in intimidation. The Tybur quickly looks back at Erwin, breaking into a sweat.

"I'll jump off this airship if I have to."

Erwin tsks, rubbing at his chin, almost appearing apologetic. Yelena moves behind the Tybur, looming over him like a bad omen. "Ah, that won't be necessary," 

Yelena then pulls out her own gun, pointing the barrel straight for the back of Willy's head, pressing it against his skull through the forest of straw-blonde hair.

The Tybur flinches, instinctively grabbing the Commander's wrist, the two intensely glaring at each other as the room goes silent— everyone holding their breaths, enough to hear the gentle chatter beyond the door, and the airship engine whirring.

Yelena's eyes widen with glee and anticipation, her finger grazing over the trigger as a tease. Eren always found something odd about her, she was never the type to engage in normal conversation. 

If she had ever any interest in Eren, it'd be over his titan. As for Zeke, it could mean much more, but that information on its own was disturbing enough. The only 'normal' relationship she had was with Onyankopon, but Eren was never around the two enough to see it fully.

"I could make it quick for you, right now," Erwin bites, and the tall woman digs the barrel roughly against his head, pushing the Tybur's head down, forcing him into submission.

"You still don't wish to die, right?" Yelena chirps. Willy swallows harshly, blonde locks falling messily over his face, no longer a presentable celebrity as much as he was a hostage now.

"You're completely surrounded, Mr. Tybur," Erwin follows after, combing through his gray hair to push it back with his sweat, seemingly disinterested, "so, save us all the trouble, and wait till we arrive on the Island. We'll discuss are next course of action there."

Willy is left undignified and compliant, led to his knees as Yelena keeps her pistol trained on him, her expression now fallen. Once the Tybur was bent to her will enough, she ties his wrists together behind his back, using the pre-knotted rope that dangled at her side, all in a noose shape.

She had two more left.

Erwin pinches at the bridge of his nose, rubbing at the corners of his eyes before looking to Eren once more.

"And what about Reiner?"

Reiner? Eren is taken aback for a moment; this meant nothing good for him, he already felt it.

"I never saw him," Eren lies, responding way quicker than he would have liked, "which is unusual, isn't it? Considering the attack."

Mikasa shifts uneasily. She knows he's lying, but Eren knows she won't say anything about it.

"Oh, well, I suppose you're right," Erwin nearly muses, but he never smiles, simply glaring at Eren. That is when Erwin turns away and pulls out a small, box-like, device with a roll of tape connecting from its inside. It had a speaker placed within it, imprinted tape wrapped around a wheel jutting out from its side, along with a couple of colored buttons, and an antenna to top it all off.

Eren has never seen this type of technology before, but his heart stops when Erwin presses the green button on its side.

_"Reiner... Just as I thought. I'm the same as you. I think. . . We were born this way."_

His own voice played right back to him, crackly and low in quality, but still coherent enough to disturb Eren. It was a recording device, which only meant. . .

_Shit._

He must have had his gear compromised since the beginning, there had to be some sort of transmitter. Erwin's good-will came with a damn price.

"Hange made it a while back with Yelena's old ship-communicator parts; powered by your very own hardened Titan flesh," Erwin clarifies, pressing another button to abruptly stop the recording. Eren feels his chest heave, as a child with his hand caught in the cookie jar.

"Currently, it can only record up to one minute," Erwin raises his right hand, holding up his index finger to place emphasis on his words, "just as long as I replace the tape, I can record as much audio as I want within that time-frame. I managed to catch your conversation with this device: two minutes worth of it. "

Eren fucking knows what Erwin is alluding to by this.

The conversation he had with Reiner was already incriminating enough, but the young man couldn't help his paranoia wander. That meeting with Zeke and Erwin in the empty hangar was not the only time he's been around the crate that held his uniform.

Eren had held a private meeting with Floch without telling anyone... This could only mean the Commander now possibly knows the full truth by now.

It must have been rigged before he delivered it to Liberio, and waiting ever since. Just to catch Eren's betrayal... And he caught him.

This whole plan was just one elaborate ruse to catch Eren in a lie. He should have realized since the beginning; Erwin has done worse for less.

Goddammit, Erwin was a lot smarter than he had previously presumed, not the fool Eren had ought him to be. He shouldn't have underestimated the Commander's hunches.

He can't remember ever seeing this in his glimpses of the future, why didn't his future self warn him of this?

"Eren," Erwin calls out, and he turns to better face the brunet who had dissociated. The young man glares up at the Commander when his name was called for the second time, a lot more irritated, and Eren snaps out of his rampant thoughts. Eren was more annoyed he was caught rather than he was upset to be betrayed.

"You do realize that this means I have lost all faith in you, correct? You have betrayed any of the trust I may have had in you, and Floch as well." The Commander says, "You'll both be promptly arrested the moment we return to the Island. I can't risk having anyone like you destroying the world."

Erwin nudges his chin, and Yelena moves to disarm Eren, taking the AVM grappling gun from his hands and successfully yanking his arms behind his back— binding them with the noose before forcefully nudging the brunet to sit on the bench just between his limb-less brother and the inanimate Galliard, Willy just across from him still on his knees.

Yelena hands Eren's defunct AVM grapple gun back to Erwin, who pops open the side effortlessly, pulling out the receiver to his recording device before tossing the gun off uselessly to the side. It skids as it lands by the door.

This is when Eren looks up at Mikasa, viridescent eyes meeting with her smokey ones, and she doesn't look away. She's the only one in the room who doesn't.

That same look of pain remained on her face, much like it has for the past four years. She's changed so much since then, a barren version of the girl Eren once knew. Eren couldn't help but remind himself of how distant they've become since Armin and Sasha's deaths, Mikasa finding more comfort in being alone rather than in Eren's company— and it's not like it bothered him.

But now, he wonders just how much it would take for her to abandon him... She was always so willing to do whatever it took to keep him safe, but there had to be some limit to this Ackerbond.

"Alright, well I hope you all enjoy your flight," Erwin speaks pleasantly, "Yelena, please keep your guard on them. I'll go fetch us Floch, be prepared to apprehend him."

"Yes, Commander Smith," the woman purrs, even attempting to do the salute with her wrong fist, her smile creeping back onto her face. Erwin grimaces and leaves past the door towards the rest of the Scouts, disappearing with the Wings of Freedom flowing on his back as graceful as a soaring raven, just as an omen of death should.

He didn't deserve to wear those wings, Eren thinks sourly.

Mikasa sits alongside him on the bench he was bound to by the time the Commander leaves, still donning that red scarf she's held since childhood, draped around her neck as a memento to their first confrontation.

She takes a second to breathe, peering down at her boots solemnly. Eren already knows she's going to drop a bomb on him.

"Eren, you are the only one I have left," she begins with the wavering of her voice, her eyes welling up with crystal-like tears, eyebrows grounding. It's so pathetic, depressing, and Eren's heart squeezes for the first time in years. 

He wants to embrace her, prevent the diamonds from falling to the floor, and to apologize for never doing it sooner. He never helped her mourn, he never lent her a shoulder to cry on; Eren truly was the worst to her.

Why did she love him so much?

She moves her hand to hold Eren's, just by the tips of his fingers, her cheeks growing beet-red by contact. Eren doesn't squeeze back, admittedly too afraid to.

"Please... I don't want to lose you too. Don't do anything that will take you away from me. I-I..." Mikasa pleads, "I really care about..." She trails off.

The soulless young man stares straight forward towards the circular window just opposite where he's restrained, watching the clouds and stars of the night, the skyline of Liberio below. He remembers the night of which he wrote the letter, and he moves away from her grasp.

She doesn't react, solely placing her palms against her lap this time, burying her face within her scarf after being rejected like some wounded kitten.

"Mikasa," Eren mutters, a rasp to his throat, utterly spent, "just leave me alone."

Mikasa doesn't answer anything at first, almost as if refusing it to have occurred, unable to even fathom the rejection. She takes ten seconds before ultimately rising from her seat.

"Okay." Such is what she says. It's all she says. Eren doesn't even accept it in return.

She's about to leave, her hand on the door's handle, before— BOOM! An echoing gunshot. The Ackerman pulls her hand away as if the handle burned her, listening carefully as the Scouts in the next room begin to scream.

"Erwin!?" Levi shouts, and a heavy clattering thud follows. "Oye— oye!" 

"It's a child!" 

Another gunshot, this time it ricochets against the airship's interior judging by the constant banging of metal. 

"Argh! Get her!" Another voice then shouts, one of Floch's, "You bitch!" 

The Scouts are worse than livid, several enraged screams telling of a scrabble injected with curses no person should be saying, and Mikasa runs out of the room with heightened urgency once after checking her bullets, leaving the imprisoned to their uncomfortable silence.

"Ah, well that's unfortunate," Zeke suddenly blurts, the first time he's spoken since Eren had arrived.

The brunet looks to his half-brother, squinting back at him with a look of abhorrence. Zeke quickly reads the room, and it goes back to sickening silence, a seed of dread plummeting at the pit of their stomachs as the screams from beyond the door continue.

"Let me go!"

Another gunshot, another ricochet. This time, Eren thinks Jean shouts this time, a yelp of pain. Jean was already injured by the time Eren arrived on the Airship... This could only mean...

"Jean!" Both Connie and Mikasa cry in unison. There's clambering footsteps, a child screeching, an a gentle rumbling. It's impossible to decipher what could possibly be happening at this point. Willy Tybur slouches at this, mumbling what he presumes is a prayer.

"You idiot! Why would you do that?!"

A pain forms in Eren's within his hollow chest, similar to one he's felt nights before. This was his fault. Eren caused this.

He chokes, unable to cover his mouth as the laughter forces it's way out. This makes those around him perk up, probably wondering just how morbidly twisted he must be to be laughing.

He doesn't want to laugh, and he yanks at his restraints, enough to bruise at his wrists as he does anything to prevent himself. It just was too overbearing, painful, unstoppable. This was all his fault, everything beginning to crumble.

Oh, what a cruel and brutal fucking world.

**To be continued...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter actually drained me creatively, so I kind of just did whatever I wanted since I kept putting limits to myself due to the canon universe. I hope it doesn't annoy you! 
> 
> The "heart devouring" is inspired by this art made by Columbo/ThisUserIsAlive on Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/ThisUserIsAngry/status/1355962557299879944
> 
> (I fucking love their art, if you guys would share this fic to them I would actually die omg)
> 
> Happy Valentines day everyone! Lmfao I'm so sorry I just ruined two ships today, Levi lost his hubby 😭
> 
> Again, as always, thank you so much for following along with me on this journey! I'll see you in the next chapter!


End file.
